sexual assault

[Guest_75063134]

i was sexually assaulted last year when i was still 15. this man and i talked for months and he treated me horribly so we took some time apart. eventually we came back and by this time i had healed and gained so much self worth. i set my boundaries and he surprisingly respected them, i was so happy with myself. my first encounter with him after setting my boundaries was a sexual assault which involved him jumping the fence and telling me to keep my mouth shut. i didn’t react for a couple of weeks,  i think i was just processing what had happened and why i was taking way too many showers every night. one night i cracked and confronted him and to be honest i felt no glory in being proven right as he said “please **** please **** don’t tell anyone” i couldn’t do anything. couldn’t say a word because i would be called a liar, couldn’t over react because people would think i was asking for sympathy, couldn’t tell my friends because he was in our group. couldn’t tell mum because i felt so ashamed and disgusted in myself. i struggled for months and my grades dropped as well as my relationships. i cut everyone out and lost myself completely. i realised that after all those months of worthlessness and depression i hadn’t gained any justice because that boy was still walking around thinking i had let him off easy. i’m yet to report the case or tell half of my family and friends but i’ve come to terms with myself and that i deserve better than any man with similar intentions. although it stops me from experimenting with relationships it also stops me from getting more hurt and that’s been my main priority since the assault. teenage girls don’t get enough of a voice for this kind of thing because it’s NOT normal and shouldn’t be brushed off the shoulder. i’m now completing year 11 and trying to get myself back on track with grades and trusting those around me. I wish that girls any age experiencing something similar can grow through this experience with me and get their justice. We deserve nothing less. 

[Sophie_M]

Hi Guest_75063134,    

Welcome to the forums and thank you for having such bravery to share your experience. We are so sorry to hear that you've been through this but we are glad you have been able to reach out here. We totally agree that you deserve a voice and everyone should be treated with respect, we wanted to provide you with some extra support during this difficult time.  

Please know that you are not alone in dealing with this, we are always here to listen and provide support. If you'd prefer to call us, we're on 1300 22 4636, or you can reach us online via our webchat: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/     

Another resource is 1800Respect, they have some amazing webpages providing advice on what expectations we should have in healthy relationships. You have a right to respect in all relationships and it is never your fault when someone breaches those boundaries. If you'd like to have a chat with one of the lovely people at 1800Respect they're on 1800 737 732, or you can reach them on online chat, here: https://chat.1800respect.org.au/#/welcome   

We’d also suggest reaching out to Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800). Kids Helpline offers free phone counselling services 24/7 or you could also contact that via email or webchat through their website: https://kidshelpline.com.au/  

We also wanted to emphasize that you have the right to feel safe, if at any time you are feeling unsafe or threatened please do not hesitate to contact triple 000 and they will be able to provide you with immediate assistance.  

Thank you again for your courage and strength in sharing your story. If you’d like to share a bit more here about how you’ve been feeling, our kind community will be here to offer their support and understanding.      

Kind regards,    

Sophie M 

[mmMekitty]

Hello Guest_75063134,

I am glad you have felt able to come here & talk about what has happened & how you are feeling now. That takes courage.

I don't want to tell you what to do now. I mean, I can't make decisions for you about what to do, especially about whether or not to pursue justice by reporting his assault on you to the police. However, I think talking to people who have knowledge & experience, such as people at 1800 RESPECT, would be an excellent place to start.

I think talking to someone could also help you to deal with your emotions & thoughts about what has happened & help you to process the assault & what it means & how to move forward. Your trust in guys could well be shaken. Your trust in your own ability to look after yourself, too, could be shaken. It is sad to think you are feeling either shame or guilt about something someone else did. You did nothing wrong. You have nothing to blame yourself for.

I wonder if your school has a counsellor. Could you talk to them?

But, yes, calling BB, talking here, in these forums, you are anonymous. You can be sure this is a safe place to talk.

Places dedicated to supporting & helping people who are going through tough times are good places to go to. I'd advise against the more general social media sites, where people can get on & openly talk trash & such. BB is good because the members here have come here with the understanding that we are here to support & be supported. & the moderators keep a pretty close eye on us, too!

Try to remember, no matter what, you are still a strong, intelligent, caring & loveable person.

Hugzies

mmMekitty