"Trauma" such an underrated word for what is in most cases, grief.
Perhaps it trauma followed by grief, either way. when a parent separates
from their spouse and children, it is devastating. One day were were
full time parents, neighbours, community ...
View more
"Trauma" such an underrated word for what is in most cases, grief.
Perhaps it trauma followed by grief, either way. when a parent separates
from their spouse and children, it is devastating. One day were were
full time parents, neighbours, community members, a spouse, a pet owner
and so on... the next you might not be any of those things. If you've
lost most of those roles then who are you now? Regardless of many of
those things it was the loss and judgement of neighbours that intrigued
me the most. One neighbour ignored me when walking in town early to
collect my kids. Eventually this happened again so I approached. "you
left you wife and children what kind of man are you". My reply- "perhaps
you dont know what went on behind closed doors"? People present
themselves in public far different than when they treat their spouse
with contempt and narcissistic tendencies... forgive me, I not need to
justify. So, you spend your first weeks on a new fitness effort and
dwell and dwell, you've lost your environment and yes you are a dad (or
mum) that has reduced your access to 2 days a fortnight which is from
100% down to 15%. (the lucky ones get shared 50% custody). Then along
comes holiday time a few weeks with them is gold. Does this arrangement
feel like you are still a parent? well, no, in an instant your are along
without that pitter patter. IWhen I left I decided to not only be the
best part time dad ever, I'd also move on and become the man I knew I
could be. I bought land, built my own kit home and worked long hours.
What are the main elements of propulsion that I used to succeed? Move on
from the marriage, the memories, the negativity, the child support.
Remain civilCreate your dreams and include your children in themBe
proud. People reacting like my neighbour are like naïve people about
mental illness. Find yourself, there is much to discoverGo dating, go
for picnics, live lifeLaugh, comedies, plays.
https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/the-best-praise-you-ll-ever-get/td-p/134999
TonyWK
PTSD for Medical and First Responders
