PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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wbgc84 Going nowhere fast
  • replies: 3

I know mental health has up and downs and is a basically spending my life on an emotional rollercoaster. I have never been big at asking for help before I have always been the strong one. I have put so many walls up to hide my mental health and have ... View more

I know mental health has up and downs and is a basically spending my life on an emotional rollercoaster. I have never been big at asking for help before I have always been the strong one. I have put so many walls up to hide my mental health and have the ‘face’ the world wants to see. now many years later I am reaching out for help I have an assistant dog in training and some other measures in place. But I am still pushing them away a bit, will take some time to adjust. but with everything in life I always feel like a hamster running on a wheel, I am going flat out trying to do things to improve my life and move forward but I just keep ending up in the same place. I hope at some stage I can move to a different wheel

hairclip Car accident + grief
  • replies: 2

Hello everyone, I was proudly better from depression and anxiety. I finally stopped seeing a therapist after 2 years of treatment. I found a good job two years ago and was overall very happy with how I've turned my life around. Sadly tragedy strikes ... View more

Hello everyone, I was proudly better from depression and anxiety. I finally stopped seeing a therapist after 2 years of treatment. I found a good job two years ago and was overall very happy with how I've turned my life around. Sadly tragedy strikes faster than I could respond. A very dear uncle of mine (who helped raised me) was diagnosed with bowl cancer in 2022, so in August I decided to quit my job and fly overseas to spend as much time with him as possible. The plan was I would go visit him first and the rest of my family would go once I've returned to Brisbane. However the 2nd day I have arrived Brisbane, we were told he unfortunately passed away. His death was more painful than it needed to be, since he contracted Covid. That mixed with late state cancer, the doctors in that country could do very little. I'm still extremely distraught and in disbelief about his passing. Then just when I felt I was getting better, I was in a car accident. Upon contacting lots and lots of free help...I found myself to be uninsured and fighting the insurance company on my own. I thought my car was insured but due to a huge misunderstanding and miscommunication, I'm not. I'm unemployed, trying to find a job...grieving over a loved one (who's service I couldn't attend) and now this...my friends and family have been supportive but I'm just so stressed out. I'm so scared to drive now, I'm having trouble sleeping and I just don't know what I can do anymore...I'm in Brisbane alone since my family had to go attend the funeral service overseas. According to our tradition the funeral can take up to a month. Summary: lost a loved one, had my first accident and now negotiating with insurance company...lots of bad things happening in Feb...

Hardyimez How do I explain how someone's words effect me so deeply that they will be mindful?
  • replies: 2

Hello all, I was in a dv situation with my ex partner. I have always suffered with anxiety and depression but not ptsd. I have started dating again. It got so bad with my ex I left 4mths pregnant and he came after me and threatened me with a weapon. ... View more

Hello all, I was in a dv situation with my ex partner. I have always suffered with anxiety and depression but not ptsd. I have started dating again. It got so bad with my ex I left 4mths pregnant and he came after me and threatened me with a weapon. He was never jailed, not for breaching my vro numerous times, breaching his bail conditions and his intensive community order 5 times. He stalked harassed and hounded me. I was put in a refuge, I was the one in jail. Miles away from my support network, no one allowed to visit. 3yrs later I am grateful for my beautiful daughter. One of his biggest things to terrorised me with was blame. Everything he didn't like was my fault and I mean everything. This was my dialy torture be blamed for things I had no control over or nothing to do with. I started seeing a new guy. Yesterday after a misunderstanding through text I got in trouble for things outside of my control. It triggered me big time. He has said he suffers with anxiety so I would have thought me telling him that his harsh unkind words was triggering to my ptsd would have been met with a bit more understanding. He had apologised but when those anxiety feelings take hold a flip I am sorry doesn't stop the reactions. I got the "well all guys are not your ex" oh really geez well that just makes it just fine now you said that. I don't want to go into the nitty gritty as it just makes it worse but also can I really be bothered to explain when even with someone who claims to know what anxiety is like says that. Am I going to have to tell any potential partner "my story" I just feel lost at the thought that even 3yrs later I still can't get out from under this awful mental battle.

Jessksch TRIGGERING! I only really came to terms yesterday that my father abused me
  • replies: 11

So I see my psychologist monthly ( do it monthly even if you think it won't help, please go and at least talk to let it all out!).I was having problems now with my job, not knowing how to go on or what to do with my life... My parents both passed awa... View more

So I see my psychologist monthly ( do it monthly even if you think it won't help, please go and at least talk to let it all out!).I was having problems now with my job, not knowing how to go on or what to do with my life... My parents both passed away from different types of cancer in one year of each other, they didn't make it past 60. As good as parents they were in the past, my father developed alcoholism and my teenager years were bad from both parties. TRIGGERING so please only read if you can handle it: My father would come into my room sometimes and be blind drunk, it was never in the sense of really out there sexual, but he would be naked and abuse his strength and wrestle me to the ground, telling me if I was being raped right now, how would I get out?! And if we didn't try to fight we were weak.At 18 I was a grown woman and he was an old man, and I fought and kicked and punched him while crying. He left, looked at me crying like he was proud/sad at the same time and never did it again. I told my psychologist and she responded with that this was still sexual abuse. Now, he was only naked this one time but it stuck with me because of it and also all the times he just came into my room to belittle me and say I will never amount to anything. I felt so confused yesterday when she told me, I still don't see this as sexual abuse but then, my eyes are more open than they used to be...Even today I felt like something different opened up in my personality, I felt somehow stronger and not so fragile in that I would let others try to emotionally blackmail me. My partner is going through a rough point in his life, but instead of listening like I usually do, I told him to go and talk to a professional then if he is having trouble. He seemed upset....I just feel angry, like, I can't deal with his crap right now... I still feel very confused at the moment, I know my problems seem like nothing compared to what you are all going through and I must seem pretty insensitive in some way, it's just that this revelation really has shaken me as I still don't want to admit it was abuse, because in some way, it wasn't nice, I don't feel like I want to seem like a victim when this situation isn't as bad as what "real" victims have gone through?

Rachel U Cult trauma
  • replies: 2

Hi, I just want to start a discussion about Cults. I was in a eastern religious cult for 16 years. It is still operating in Melbourne. Australia. I have ptsd as a result of my time and just want to communicate with other survivors.

Hi, I just want to start a discussion about Cults. I was in a eastern religious cult for 16 years. It is still operating in Melbourne. Australia. I have ptsd as a result of my time and just want to communicate with other survivors.

Joy_M_Pryde Trauma
  • replies: 4

Hi there, I am finding it hard to settle into this strange thing called "life".I suffer from trauma, Bipolar I and OCD.I oftentimes feel out of place with the world. I don't get why other people can make friends easily and even have relationships.I h... View more

Hi there, I am finding it hard to settle into this strange thing called "life".I suffer from trauma, Bipolar I and OCD.I oftentimes feel out of place with the world. I don't get why other people can make friends easily and even have relationships.I had years of bullying, emotional and physical abuse from peers, my family and my cousin's.I have lost my sense of identity and feel numb. It feels like I burn people out and, myself too. Am I too sensitive? Am I too much? I am non binary and I am too shy to face the wider LGBTQIA+ community for fear of rejection. I have low self esteem and I can't accept any compliments because it makes me feel like a fraud.I'm in my late 30s and feel lost for a sense of self and identity. The trauma I've sustained gives me the impression history always repeats.

Ely_ Recalled memories and eating issues
  • replies: 5

Hi all, Therapy has been progressing, and uni this term went well. The last couple of weeks I have had some trauma memories resurface that are now making it extremely difficult to eat/drink etc. I already had some issues with food due to Autism and a... View more

Hi all, Therapy has been progressing, and uni this term went well. The last couple of weeks I have had some trauma memories resurface that are now making it extremely difficult to eat/drink etc. I already had some issues with food due to Autism and adhd but now even when I recognise I need to and have something in front of me that is usually a routine food, I am struggling. I have been working on trying to remember to eat lately, and now these memories have come back it's so frustrating. I forced myself to go to dinner with my family last night so I would eat and while there received comments on my weight loss again. So told them my dietitian is looking at adding an ARFID dx, which of course they all shot down straight away. Wish I hadn't gone, and that I hadn't said anything.I need my brain to stop leaving the connections open all the time! Need to be able to press the pause button. Grounding and my usual visualisation and challenging myself or strategies aren't helping. Hoping for some advice/someone can relate. Feel very alone. Dietitian n psych mean well, but don't and can't understand.

buzzer32 Told its just all BPD
  • replies: 2

HelloSo recently after a victim of family violence incident I was diagnosed with BPD despite having no issues with anger, self identity or obvious implusive behaviours . During diagnose hospital team explain to me what I'm having is not family violen... View more

HelloSo recently after a victim of family violence incident I was diagnosed with BPD despite having no issues with anger, self identity or obvious implusive behaviours . During diagnose hospital team explain to me what I'm having is not family violence and my reactions of fear and distress is not normal response to my family actions.This one of most confusing diagnose I have as would thought being physically assaulted by family would be family violence and fear and distress be very natural responses, but my diagnosed team ensured it's just BPD acting up. Further it was suggested that cause of BPD maybe unknowingly I pretend be gay just to upset my family. It was also suggested it's my duty to ensure relationship with family is stable and it can be done even when they are attacking me.This so strange be told after years abuse I getting actually all my own fault cause of BPD and i need fix instead of family changing abusive behaviours.

Doogaldog I Do Not Know Why
  • replies: 2

Hi I am desperate for answers. My entire life has been full of trauma, depression, anxiety, addictions, self destruction. I am in my late fifties and I am so tired of life being so awful and so boring. I have nothing to do. I have severe physical inj... View more

Hi I am desperate for answers. My entire life has been full of trauma, depression, anxiety, addictions, self destruction. I am in my late fifties and I am so tired of life being so awful and so boring. I have nothing to do. I have severe physical injuries and am pursuing TPD. I cannot work in any capacity due to being totally useless. I have no friends. No partner. No hobbies. I drink and smoke all the time. I hate myself. My family are very unsupportive but as they are also a major factor in my issues I do not even care. I don't have anything to look forward to. Every day is a struggle. I have seen hundreds of professionals, been prescribed every medication under the sun. Nothing makes any difference. I do not know why I am here other than for my child (adult now, living with me).I feel I am cursed. Everything I do gets ruined in some way or another. I adore animals. Every rescue I have had has been ill, has cost me enormously emotionally and financially. I am now falling apart. I drink because it is something to do. I have no interest in anything other than reading. I love animals and want another but have lost two beloved pets in the last 15 months. I am so distraught about losing them. I cannot afford another pet. I just do not know why I was born because my life has been horrible from day one. Thanks for reading.

Guest_457 My wife turned to into something that I am not
  • replies: 1

Not matter how any times I request for a change and explain the pain my wife is causing to me. Over the years, she just says sorry and keep torturing me mentally. I am no longer the same man after our marriage. My parents literally say to my face tha... View more

Not matter how any times I request for a change and explain the pain my wife is causing to me. Over the years, she just says sorry and keep torturing me mentally. I am no longer the same man after our marriage. My parents literally say to my face that I am no longer the same man and they dont even recognise me.