So I see my psychologist monthly ( do it monthly even if you think it
won't help, please go and at least talk to let it all out!).I was having
problems now with my job, not knowing how to go on or what to do with my
life... My parents both passed awa...
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So I see my psychologist monthly ( do it monthly even if you think it
won't help, please go and at least talk to let it all out!).I was having
problems now with my job, not knowing how to go on or what to do with my
life... My parents both passed away from different types of cancer in
one year of each other, they didn't make it past 60. As good as parents
they were in the past, my father developed alcoholism and my teenager
years were bad from both parties. TRIGGERING so please only read if you
can handle it: My father would come into my room sometimes and be blind
drunk, it was never in the sense of really out there sexual, but he
would be naked and abuse his strength and wrestle me to the ground,
telling me if I was being raped right now, how would I get out?! And if
we didn't try to fight we were weak.At 18 I was a grown woman and he was
an old man, and I fought and kicked and punched him while crying. He
left, looked at me crying like he was proud/sad at the same time and
never did it again. I told my psychologist and she responded with that
this was still sexual abuse. Now, he was only naked this one time but it
stuck with me because of it and also all the times he just came into my
room to belittle me and say I will never amount to anything. I felt so
confused yesterday when she told me, I still don't see this as sexual
abuse but then, my eyes are more open than they used to be...Even today
I felt like something different opened up in my personality, I felt
somehow stronger and not so fragile in that I would let others try to
emotionally blackmail me. My partner is going through a rough point in
his life, but instead of listening like I usually do, I told him to go
and talk to a professional then if he is having trouble. He seemed
upset....I just feel angry, like, I can't deal with his crap right
now... I still feel very confused at the moment, I know my problems seem
like nothing compared to what you are all going through and I must seem
pretty insensitive in some way, it's just that this revelation really
has shaken me as I still don't want to admit it was abuse, because in
some way, it wasn't nice, I don't feel like I want to seem like a victim
when this situation isn't as bad as what "real" victims have gone
through?