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PTSD and trauma

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Doogaldog I Do Not Know Why
  • replies: 2

Hi I am desperate for answers. My entire life has been full of trauma, depression, anxiety, addictions, self destruction. I am in my late fifties and I am so tired of life being so awful and so boring. I have nothing to do. I have severe physical inj... View more

Hi I am desperate for answers. My entire life has been full of trauma, depression, anxiety, addictions, self destruction. I am in my late fifties and I am so tired of life being so awful and so boring. I have nothing to do. I have severe physical injuries and am pursuing TPD. I cannot work in any capacity due to being totally useless. I have no friends. No partner. No hobbies. I drink and smoke all the time. I hate myself. My family are very unsupportive but as they are also a major factor in my issues I do not even care. I don't have anything to look forward to. Every day is a struggle. I have seen hundreds of professionals, been prescribed every medication under the sun. Nothing makes any difference. I do not know why I am here other than for my child (adult now, living with me).I feel I am cursed. Everything I do gets ruined in some way or another. I adore animals. Every rescue I have had has been ill, has cost me enormously emotionally and financially. I am now falling apart. I drink because it is something to do. I have no interest in anything other than reading. I love animals and want another but have lost two beloved pets in the last 15 months. I am so distraught about losing them. I cannot afford another pet. I just do not know why I was born because my life has been horrible from day one. Thanks for reading.

Guest_457 My wife turned to into something that I am not
  • replies: 1

Not matter how any times I request for a change and explain the pain my wife is causing to me. Over the years, she just says sorry and keep torturing me mentally. I am no longer the same man after our marriage. My parents literally say to my face tha... View more

Not matter how any times I request for a change and explain the pain my wife is causing to me. Over the years, she just says sorry and keep torturing me mentally. I am no longer the same man after our marriage. My parents literally say to my face that I am no longer the same man and they dont even recognise me.

white knight Trauma of separated parents
  • replies: 0

"Trauma" such an underrated word for what is in most cases, grief. Perhaps it trauma followed by grief, either way. when a parent separates from their spouse and children, it is devastating. One day were were full time parents, neighbours, community ... View more

"Trauma" such an underrated word for what is in most cases, grief. Perhaps it trauma followed by grief, either way. when a parent separates from their spouse and children, it is devastating. One day were were full time parents, neighbours, community members, a spouse, a pet owner and so on... the next you might not be any of those things. If you've lost most of those roles then who are you now? Regardless of many of those things it was the loss and judgement of neighbours that intrigued me the most. One neighbour ignored me when walking in town early to collect my kids. Eventually this happened again so I approached. "you left you wife and children what kind of man are you". My reply- "perhaps you dont know what went on behind closed doors"? People present themselves in public far different than when they treat their spouse with contempt and narcissistic tendencies... forgive me, I not need to justify. So, you spend your first weeks on a new fitness effort and dwell and dwell, you've lost your environment and yes you are a dad (or mum) that has reduced your access to 2 days a fortnight which is from 100% down to 15%. (the lucky ones get shared 50% custody). Then along comes holiday time a few weeks with them is gold. Does this arrangement feel like you are still a parent? well, no, in an instant your are along without that pitter patter. IWhen I left I decided to not only be the best part time dad ever, I'd also move on and become the man I knew I could be. I bought land, built my own kit home and worked long hours. What are the main elements of propulsion that I used to succeed? Move on from the marriage, the memories, the negativity, the child support. Remain civilCreate your dreams and include your children in themBe proud. People reacting like my neighbour are like naïve people about mental illness. Find yourself, there is much to discoverGo dating, go for picnics, live lifeLaugh, comedies, plays. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/the-best-praise-you-ll-ever-get/td-p/134999 TonyWK

Tezfromdownunder Looking for support material or resources to pass on to friends and family
  • replies: 3

Recently I have shared with my family that I am a victim of abuse, I have reached out and currently seeking support from my family yet I have hit a brick wall and feel that maybe they just do not have any tools or resources to help me. I am not askin... View more

Recently I have shared with my family that I am a victim of abuse, I have reached out and currently seeking support from my family yet I have hit a brick wall and feel that maybe they just do not have any tools or resources to help me. I am not asking them to help me heal from the abuse - I am seeking professional help with that, more I am trying to have them understand that the way they communicate with me just doesnt work. So I want to send them info sheets etc to read and perhaps this will allow them to make neccessary adjustments when I interact with them. Not only am I seeking them to modify how they communicate but also listen and have a dialogue on how to help me with making connections with people and improving my quality of life. Lets just say my anxiety prevents me enjoying a family bbq. I have asked that my family engage with me at these events instead of letting me sit around avoiding people. So any resource on how they can help me with that would be great.

Living57 Nervous breakdown PTSD Memories
  • replies: 24

I saw my psych yesterday and my dr today. They say I am close to having a breakdown. I had a lovely Xmas, but had 2 visits to Police HQ flow up an assault, it put a damper on things. Now I'm home, back to routine and I'm struggling to cope. I've lost... View more

I saw my psych yesterday and my dr today. They say I am close to having a breakdown. I had a lovely Xmas, but had 2 visits to Police HQ flow up an assault, it put a damper on things. Now I'm home, back to routine and I'm struggling to cope. I've lost interest in everything and spend my days at home,making excuses not to go out. I decided to see my dr to discuss this. He said the stress that I am under us the major contributing fact. The PTSD isn't going anywhere, my depression is getting worse. In layman's terms a nervous breakdown. I'm exhausted trying to cope. I confided in a friend I ran in to and she said no not you, you're always so happy. I'm obviously good at putting on a face. I can feel myself slipping backwards and I've worked hard to get where I am,but now it seems like it was not worth it. The memories and flashbacks are endless. I rarely watch TV because of triggers. Sometimes I just feel like screaming and tearing my hair out. I cry a lot. I have a daughter and adult grandsons nearby and a daughter and grandsons interstate. I dont even want to see them. I only go to see my psych on a regular basis its a struggle to even do that but I know I need it. I just don't know what else to do. This forum allows me to just say it, thank you for listening.

Jesse Y HOW TO STOP OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS ABOUT AN EX ( TOXIC LOVE SYNDROME)
  • replies: 1

Hey guys I hope everyone is doing well. So I hate to ask for help and hate the situation I’m in but I can’t keep going on like this. I currently have a beautiful girlfriend who is the best thing that has ever happened to me but I still have daily tho... View more

Hey guys I hope everyone is doing well. So I hate to ask for help and hate the situation I’m in but I can’t keep going on like this. I currently have a beautiful girlfriend who is the best thing that has ever happened to me but I still have daily thoughts about my ex. She ended the relationship with me abruptly and I never got closure. I hate myself and my mind for it but I often find myself comparing the 2 and feel because I still have these thoughts about my ex partner that I can’t love my current partner completely. I have Bipolar Disorder, ADD and manic depression and often find these invasive thoughts debilitating. I can’t seem to find a way to stop having these intrusive thoughts and have been stuck on a hamster wheel for the past 2 years. I love my current partner with all my heart and wish my ex the best but it seems that I almost have an obsession with my ex. I have read about love addiction withdrawal but wouldn’t know the first thing about implementing steps to break this obsessive thought chain. If anyone would be able to help that would be greatly appreciated. I understand it’s a tricky situation but I will do anything I can to keep my current partner as I love her dearly and she is what’s best for me and my future. Thank you guys so much.

Globetrotter Childhood PTSD
  • replies: 2

So I suffered sexual abuse when I was little, I always went numb and was never able to dob him to protect my other fam members... Through my teenager years I tried to see psychs to talk about my anxiety and depression but I was never brave enough to ... View more

So I suffered sexual abuse when I was little, I always went numb and was never able to dob him to protect my other fam members... Through my teenager years I tried to see psychs to talk about my anxiety and depression but I was never brave enough to tell them what the real root of it was ... I just let it be and then found thr man of my life who was the complete opposite of the perpetrators. He was fun, a bit crazy, adventurous etc. We had so much fun together and worked through life together until he had a back injury with work and stopped working for the last 4 years...I started having these feelings of being disgusted, angry, numb, I got so distant I can't even answer and look him in eye...I feel like I am back at 15 years old on that place with the perpetrators and I feel like I lost interest in life. I cannot deal with these similarities that bring me back to those nightmares...I am not too aure what to do....I can't get pass it even when he does try do something to move.forward I am stuck on these feelings. I don't take anything for depression but I am in a deep whole right now and cannot feel any love or happiness in life...The only thing that keeps me going is being a responsible mum so I will always stick to survival mode to give them what they deserve...I am not too sure why I am even posting but I can't talk to anyone about this and it's killing me....

Timeless My Story
  • replies: 7

I am in my early 40s, trans man FTM and I want to share something very personal about me, regarding the effects I am suffering in my adulthood, as a result of childhood sexual abuse. I have only ever been able to disclose this to my current and previ... View more

I am in my early 40s, trans man FTM and I want to share something very personal about me, regarding the effects I am suffering in my adulthood, as a result of childhood sexual abuse. I have only ever been able to disclose this to my current and previous psychologist and my ex-wife. Why? Because of the shame, and guilt I feel inside me, and to speak openly about it, is almost unbearable. The effects that I am now suffering, started surfacing about 5 years ago, and I have been suffering in silence for about 1 year now. I was exposed to numerous types of traumatic events throughout my childhood, including sexual abuse and I have been seeking professional help for more than 20 years and have gone undiagnosed until about 3 years ago. My mental health conditions include, C-PTSD, Dissociative Disorder, Sensory Issues (touch), major Anxiety and Depression. When the effects started to surface, I was in absolute shock and extremely confused. I felt ashamed and this prevented me from being able to share what was happening to me, with anyone, including my treating psychologist. I will disclose with you now the effects that surfaced for me; I was finding myself being aroused at the thought of my sexual abuse, I could not believe that I was turned on by the sexual abuse I endured throughout my childhood. How is this possible? I didn't know what to do but I had to do something to make sense of what was happening to me. This lead me to begin an extensive search online, and I am talking about months and months of research. Every google search kept coming up empty. The only effects ever mentioned would be repeated over and over, for example, PTSD, anxiety, depression, substance abuse, self-harm, high-risk behaviours and many more but no where did it mention, being aroused or turned on at the thought of being sexually abused as a child. During my last psychology session, I disclosed more in-depth details about what was happening to me, that I am in distress, and that I have had enough. I also spoke about 2 books that I had read, 1 I had personally found and it's by a female author who remains anonymous and it was her story of childhood sexual abuse and the long-term effects; the other was recommended to me, and it's about a study of 40 women who had suffered childhood sexual abuse and my psychologist had never heard of it. I'm not the only suffering in silence, and I want to change that and help people like me. The worst, is where the research lead me.

Debbie Downer Trauma + Self Care
  • replies: 3

Hello,I am wondering if anyone has any experience with having a chronic illness / trauma. I have been diagnosed with endometriosis and secondary pelvic pain disorder; my pain flares up when my mental health is down or I am triggered by something from... View more

Hello,I am wondering if anyone has any experience with having a chronic illness / trauma. I have been diagnosed with endometriosis and secondary pelvic pain disorder; my pain flares up when my mental health is down or I am triggered by something from my past. I am really struggling to allow myself time to heal and cannot stop being cruel to myself; keep telling myself I am a failure or a sook. I was raised to never be allowed sick days, whenever I complained about my cramps as a girl I was told to toughen up, I was also not allowed to have time off unless I was "bleeding profusely or throwing up" which I think plays a significant factor in my guilt and shame. I just don't know how to get past it. I can see it all for what it is but can't stop the emotion. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

DaffyDuck Family Cancer
  • replies: 2

A recap of the past few years: - Mum was diagnosed with stage 3 lymphoma. - Grandma was diagnosed with lymphoma. - Grandpa was diagnosed with bowel cancer and skin cancer. - Mums uncle was diagnosed with bowel and oesophagus cancer and passed. - My g... View more

A recap of the past few years: - Mum was diagnosed with stage 3 lymphoma. - Grandma was diagnosed with lymphoma. - Grandpa was diagnosed with bowel cancer and skin cancer. - Mums uncle was diagnosed with bowel and oesophagus cancer and passed. - My great uncle is starting chemo.- My cousin woke up paralysed from the shoulders down and spent 3/4 of the year in hospital. It feels like 2-3 years of hell.. the consistent diagnosis. The hospital trips. The waiting for medical tests. Not knowing the outcome.. I am exhausted.. whenever things settle something else seems to happen. When I think we are finally safe and everything is okay it isn't.. so I can't relax. I am getting angry over every little thing at the moment. I hate feeling tired all the time.. and/or angry over dumb things. I don't know what to do any more. I have seen a counsellor in the past but it's hard to keep going when I feel like I don't always have something to talk about.