PTSD and trauma

A space for discussing post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), domestic abuse, sexual abuse and other trauma. Please note some content may be distressing.

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A_Tech PTSD for Medical and First Responders
  • replies: 276

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting t... View more

Hi, Well obviously this my situation. I was hoping to find others here that might have a similar background to chat with, it can be so hard to talk about this stuff with non-med people (and I mean no disrespect, it's just often graffic or upsetting to others). Im a 40 year old female that has spent the last 10years in the State Trauma Hospital as an Anaesthetic Technician. My PTSD was brought about after years of exposure to shocking traumas, deaths, and no support from management. I would love to hear from anyone that has a similar story, or just wants to chat. Cheers

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Obsessed The Green Mile, ( warning content may upset people)
  • replies: 8

My PTSD life. Last night I had one of my night mares It happens every few months. There is a scenes towards the end of the movies "the green mile" where the prisoners go through a mock execution hours before the execution. The end of my nightmare was... View more

My PTSD life. Last night I had one of my night mares It happens every few months. There is a scenes towards the end of the movies "the green mile" where the prisoners go through a mock execution hours before the execution. The end of my nightmare was ME. I was allowed to say my last words, i forgive the judge, the jury, the lawyers for sending me to the execution table as you are only working on the evidence you have been given.I then died. How I got there you ask? This was the end of my nightmare in full technicolor. what started this was my mind trying to identify my sexual abuses. In the nightmare I almost identified the people but when the the imaginary face masks came up to their noses everything went blank. Then there was the one person who over 8 months abused me multiple times. In the nightmare again I almost identified the person when the imaginary mask came up to his nose. Things went blank. Between this and the green mile there was a court case I convicted of a false charge then executed. What that court case was I do not remember. All I remember what I just wrote. NOW you are wondering why I'm writing this? SUICIDE is a dirty word. No one wants to talk about SUICIDE in public.WHY? Suicide is a major societal issue AND NO ONE ONE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT THIS. WHY? I am one of very few people who is willing to talk or write about the problems sexual assault victims face on a day to day bases.There are many that have survived their attempts yet will not talk about it or simply found a way of taking their life. I am a multiple suicide survivor SEVEN, thats correct 7 times I tried. I am a sexual abuse survivor. I am a first generation Australian, not a great thing. You can bury your head in a bucket of sand and say "it didn't happen" or you can face reality. It took me 40 years to face all this. It took me another 7 years to go to court and win. Its taken seven years to accept what has happened. I have to accept that the nightmares will continue for the rest of my life. I have to accept "the green mile" I will never be able to identify the people who sexually abused me multiple time. Remember I am not the only sexually abuse male. It seems I am the lone voice that is prepared to talk publicly SUICIDE is real. It doesn't have to be sexual abuse modern society can send you down the path of suicide.

Just Sara Complex PTSD - What is it and how do we cope?
  • replies: 221

'Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD; also known as complex trauma disorder) is a psychological disorder thought to occur as a result of repetitive, prolonged trauma involving sustained abuse or abandonment by a caregiver or other interper... View more

'Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD; also known as complex trauma disorder) is a psychological disorder thought to occur as a result of repetitive, prolonged trauma involving sustained abuse or abandonment by a caregiver or other interpersonal relationships with an uneven power dynamic.' Wikipedia description.. I think this pretty much sums it up yeah? I wish I could underline; '..relationships with an uneven power dynamic'. In my own case, C-PTSD was triggered by bullying in my workplace from 2008 until 2014. I developed symptoms such as Anxiety/Panic that grew in severity until a tragic breakdown in 2014. I was forced to medically retire. Although my history of multiple trauma's and childhood abuse caused specific responses in me from an early age, I thought I was normal and everyone was the same. In fact, a lot of people in my inner circle were. Decades later, I find out those friends/family members/acquaintances had gone thru their own traumatic situations. So why wouldn't I feel normal around them? Today, as opposed to the 70's/80's (my adolescence/young adulthood) where abuse wasn't discussed, people have resources to out their pain and confusion in spaces like BB forum or with psychologists, social workers, medico's, psychiatrists and even friends/family. Treatment has become the 'norm' instead of going it alone which is what many of us here had to do until society caught up with this 'pandemic' (IMO) of psychological disorders. So, why create a thread dedicated to C-PTSD? Well, stigma and misconception around it's still rife in our society, and people suffering with this horrible disorder and not realising it is a constant. Your views are absolutely welcome! We really do need to talk about it as consequences of C-PTSD and the benefits of therapy are worthy and an important part of recovery. Newcomers and current members alike are encouraged to post; old, young, male or female. Let's pick each other's brain and see where it leads... Kind thoughts; Sez

Guest_12825559 Understanding my traumas
  • replies: 1

Hi I’m very new to this forum. I’m just reaching out to ask anyone how they worked out what there past traumas are or are from so they can move heal and move forward. I know I’m trigged and my cup is full right now with life but I just am un sure wha... View more

Hi I’m very new to this forum. I’m just reaching out to ask anyone how they worked out what there past traumas are or are from so they can move heal and move forward. I know I’m trigged and my cup is full right now with life but I just am un sure what is triggering it all. How do I find this out.

RaKy22 Emotional detachment
  • replies: 3

How can I stop getting so discouraged from doing stuff because of fearing my past due to trauma, and when I do something I feel detached because a person might not respond in the most supported way and I feel like I just didn't give them what I want ... View more

How can I stop getting so discouraged from doing stuff because of fearing my past due to trauma, and when I do something I feel detached because a person might not respond in the most supported way and I feel like I just didn't give them what I want which I could be wrong but how do I stop ittt this is so confusing

Guest_9340 Tired of trying so hard
  • replies: 1

I'm tired of trying . I'm tired of struggling. I'm tired of worries. I'm tires of being alone. I'm tired of dejavu. I'm tired of fighting on.

I'm tired of trying . I'm tired of struggling. I'm tired of worries. I'm tires of being alone. I'm tired of dejavu. I'm tired of fighting on.

Guest_41336837 Depression for TBI sufferers
  • replies: 1

Difficult times would arise for me suffering depression after a TBI due to being a victim of crime a year ago. I have chosen to do HBOT the last month which is rewarding and I would like to hear from others that have experienced a similarly injury as... View more

Difficult times would arise for me suffering depression after a TBI due to being a victim of crime a year ago. I have chosen to do HBOT the last month which is rewarding and I would like to hear from others that have experienced a similarly injury as to how they have coped getting through their difficult moments

Andrewbb Trauma, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety.
  • replies: 27

What to do when you have 10 brothers and sisters, and Mother has passed away and feeling alone and lonely, feeling abandonded and a deep sense of being betrayed. Have not worked properly for 5 years as gave up work to be Mum's carer fulltime. Isolate... View more

What to do when you have 10 brothers and sisters, and Mother has passed away and feeling alone and lonely, feeling abandonded and a deep sense of being betrayed. Have not worked properly for 5 years as gave up work to be Mum's carer fulltime. Isolated' no friends' (have a distant friend) no family' no job and not much job prospects. The grieving (which was delayed response for 15 months) feels like lead in my body and so weight bearing physically' mentally and spiritually. Feeling lost' no puroose of life anymore.

Guest_82546981 trauma, depression and anxiety
  • replies: 3

i need help with how to deal with my trauma, anxiety and depression. i have been struggling really bad with it and really need help with is. i dont like talking to people in person about everything. i barely talk to people about my problems that im h... View more

i need help with how to deal with my trauma, anxiety and depression. i have been struggling really bad with it and really need help with is. i dont like talking to people in person about everything. i barely talk to people about my problems that im having. but i like talking to people over the internet about my problems so would it be ok for someone to help me please

Femina What the hell is wrong with men in Australia?
  • replies: 12

I live in Sydney & the recent incidents of violence against women has prompted me to write this. I am a woman in my mid-fifties (look 10 years younger) living on my own in a villa for nearly 7 years now. I have an obnoxious neighbor, a single man in ... View more

I live in Sydney & the recent incidents of violence against women has prompted me to write this. I am a woman in my mid-fifties (look 10 years younger) living on my own in a villa for nearly 7 years now. I have an obnoxious neighbor, a single man in his seventies whom you could call an incel (involuntary celibate). His villa is next to mine & although he has a backyard, he seems to spend a lot of time in the common area in front of his villa, even sunbathing there in full view. Initially he used to peer in thru my living room blinds till I put up some thick curtains. He then began fiddling with my rubbish bins and putting his rubbish in till I moved the bins into my backyard. He then shifted his attention to my letter box, putting some gum like substance & then sticking newspapers into it. I tried blocking the letter box by filling it up with junk & he would spend hours trying to still push things in. I then realised that there was some sexual innuendo going on. Disgusted I permanently sealed up my letter box and then the next step was that he began stalking me. I also cannot sit in the living room & literally have to tiptoe across the house because if he hears me moving around inside the house, he starts making weird noises. While all this has been happening, to cause me further stress, I also began experiencing sexual harassment at work. The man whom I shall call Geri is 65 & divorced. Geri began leering at & propositioning me since day one and didn’t seem to get the message to back-off even though I told him that I had partner. He would approach me pretending to ask a work-related question all the while staring at my chest. I managed to mitigate the situation by trying to avoid being in the office on the same days as him. What struck me about Geri was his sense of entitlement & his delusions that at 65 he was some kind of catch. Could write a lot more but restricted by the word limit! So, what exactly is wrong with men in AU that they feel the need to control & harass women? It’s bad enough for men to be abusive in a relationship but this post should provide insight into the kind of behavior some women put up with even when they are not in a relationship!! There is talk about educating men but is it really education that is required here? Maybe allowing for video capture of incidents to name & shame would be more effective.

Guest_9938 IanTed
  • replies: 6

62yo complex childhood trauma He was that violent Fear in mums womb beatings to her and me.I witnessed weekly beatings to mum he was savage Stepfather feed alcohol (9yro started drinking.Half bottle vodka age 11)continued and added drugs it didn’t wo... View more

62yo complex childhood trauma He was that violent Fear in mums womb beatings to her and me.I witnessed weekly beatings to mum he was savage Stepfather feed alcohol (9yro started drinking.Half bottle vodka age 11)continued and added drugs it didn’t work Clean and sober 19 years)as beatings not work Just diagnosed complex childhood trauma?Me unsure been diagnosed many and varied labels Fear Confusion Anger not a lot of help and I’m struggling and I don’t want to be here don’t know what to do yes I’ve never got over itAny feedback welcomed