PTSD and Trauma

Wife left with little boy and never came home

replies: 4

So me and my wife had an argument and she came home and said you paranoid c$%t and left. Next day my little boy was stressed so my friend took him to the movies. That afternoon he msged me and said he got picked up at the movies and I didn't see them... View more

So me and my wife had an argument and she came home and said you paranoid c$%t and left. Next day my little boy was stressed so my friend took him to the movies. That afternoon he msged me and said he got picked up at the movies and I didn't see them for weeks then she went to Perth with him saying her mum was sick. And they never came back. And then she put a avfo of me. That was t required saying she feared me. Which she knows I love them both so much and would never hurt them. Now she said she is never coming back and I cant deal with it all. Ive given up. What do I do. Im seeing a counsellor and psychologist and its not helping the actual outcome. Help me.pleaase

Support for a sex addiction partner

replies: 6

Hello, I recently discovered my husbands porn/sex addiction. It was a long 10 weeks of trickle truth before he admitted to paying for sex. we have been together 13 years and have 3 very young children with one on the way. Prior to this our marriage h... View more

Hello, I recently discovered my husbands porn/sex addiction. It was a long 10 weeks of trickle truth before he admitted to paying for sex. we have been together 13 years and have 3 very young children with one on the way. Prior to this our marriage has probably been in the best place it’s ever been, so this has come at such a complete shock and only 2 weeks after finding out I am pregnant. our marriage overall is great. We get along well, laugh, trust one another, have a good sex and consistant sex life. Honestly everything has been great. Yes some resentment in there from my end for feeling like I do everything but pay the bills. But I have started to shift that mindset of late and appreciate I don’t have the financial stress he carries. He has also expressed in the past and practically begged for more intimacy and feeling wanted. At the time I couldn’t see it from his view as we were always touchy, still had sex and gave compliments. I know now how damaging this is but at the time I was consumed and closed minded thinking it wasn’t a big deal. my world is absolutely shattered. I am in constant shock. I am shaking and spiraling and have intense rage. I feel like I am traumatising my kids. I can’t seem to put all this aside for them or this unborn baby. I have no clue where to turn too.I saw a psychologist last week but all she said was to learn to breath. My family are good but also not good at the same time. since the initial discovery of porn and sex work sites (no confession) my husband has quit porn, removed his trigger place to watch (showers AM), deleted social media. Is seeing a therapist and also addressed his anxiety/depression and agreed to take medication. He has been actively trying to show me he is working on this, but I I feel like for 10 weeks, everytime I got back up, I went digging and was knocked back down twenty times harder. I have no trust for this man. Every time he picks up his phone. Any time I drive past a massage parlor or see an attractive women, if he calls to check on me I feel it’s like actually calculated, if he says for me to go instead of him I feel it’s like he’s buying time alone. Everything he does now feels calculated. I don’t know how to explain this as I’ve never ever ever been this person.I want to trust him and make this work because our marriage has been great. I dont want to destroy something good and my children’s lives at the first sign of issues. But at what cost to my own sanity? I don’t even know how to look after myself and I’m still studying and trying to find the answers for him. I feel guilty leaving when it’s a health issue. Im trying desperately not to take it personal but that is just not possible. how do I get through this? There is so much support for the one that needs help but what about me? What about the partners? Online is so doom and gloom and any positive outcomes are so hard to come by.

Abuse

replies: 21

Do you feel abused by anyone? If so, why do you feel there's no escape, that you are permanently tied to that person? Have you sought help and how did that go?. R U OK? Remember, we are anonymous, you are safe here. I'd like you to chat here. To a la... View more

Do you feel abused by anyone? If so, why do you feel there's no escape, that you are permanently tied to that person? Have you sought help and how did that go?. R U OK? Remember, we are anonymous, you are safe here. I'd like you to chat here. To a lady stranger abused by her partner.RETURNING SHADOW There is a shadow of your life that follows you aroundLike every shadow here, they never make a soundAnd just as you want to leave that shadow makes you stayThen you return to life, just like any other day There are many that left their shadow behindTo seek freedom of love and life of a different kindTo be so bold and not be told, to be treated as a woman grownTo think for yourself, and make choices of your own Only then will your shadow relax and reappearWith thumbs up and no longer reason for any fearA sign will arrive that you fought for all the rights you should have hadSmiles from your shadow and no longer trace of feeling sad You'll blossom into that girl you used to beThe one that twirled her dress as if forever freeAnd the love will come to you as it does with effort moreJust like it does from the ocean to the shore As you grow older and watch your children danceYou'll smile away because- you fought for a second chanceAnd as you seek the sun that shadow reappearsTo give you that elusive smile and a thousand fewer tears.... TonyWK

Husbands porn addiction

replies: 54

Ok, so I first came here when I needed help with my husband's depression but here I am a couple of months later and I am so traumatised and messed up in the head I don't know what to do. I knew he was alcohol addicted, I knew he was depressed but I d... View more

Ok, so I first came here when I needed help with my husband's depression but here I am a couple of months later and I am so traumatised and messed up in the head I don't know what to do. I knew he was alcohol addicted, I knew he was depressed but I didn't know he was popping prescription medicines or that he has a porn addiction too. During the course of talking to my husband and hammering him for answers I decided I would do the one thing I never imagined doing, I snooped. What I have discovered has left me in absolute ruins. In December last year over the course of 3 days he searched for and visited 52 kinky websites and signed up on 13 Kinky Dating sites. When confronted he of course denied it but I wasn't having any of it. To cut a very long story short I have discovered he is addicted to porn and has even watched it at home right under my nose. The nature of the porn has gotten worse and while I haven't actually viewed any of it judging by what he was searching for I can only imagine. My heart is shattered, my head severely messed, I cannot eat, cannot sleep due to nightmares, I have invasive thoughts - things pop into my head at any time and I'm really struggling to deal with it all. He has accepted he has a massive problem and wants to get whatever help he can. He is genuine in this and has begged me to stay and help him. The trouble is, who is going to help me? There seems to be so much out there for his addiction but all I can find is sites telling me how I'm feeling. I already know that! I need help to accept, move on and heal. I am so lost. I don't know who I am anymore, I don't know who he is anymore, I'm broken, sad, depressed and have been having crazy irrational thoughts. Is there any hope?

Trauma memories

replies: 5

Trauma memories can be a real freak, at least they have been in my life. Below a poem about one of those memories to help me process the traumatic times i experienced the onset of schizophrenia in childhood. Where as a child i was told to go back to ... View more

Trauma memories can be a real freak, at least they have been in my life. Below a poem about one of those memories to help me process the traumatic times i experienced the onset of schizophrenia in childhood. Where as a child i was told to go back to bed for i did not have to scared of the devil but i was terrified by hallucinations and the onset of the voices.i can hear in my head. Still Climbing!There was a staircase oncethat felt far too long and high,too steep into the darkfor my small feet to undertake.Each quivering step,showering overpowering dread—no child should have to face alonesuch intensity, inescapable fear,terror too large to understand.So as a child I climbed,not because I was strong,or because I felt brave,but because I had no choice—though my legs felt like jelly.And for a long time,deep within,I believed:there was somethingvery wrongwith me being me.Many years have passed.The stairs never vanished,but their meaning changed.They appear nowin the feelings I live,as memories of my past,waves recalling,coming and going—the tides of my moods.But the child who climbsis no longer aloneinside those moments.The years now meet him—bringing the love and carethat were missed.There is space now.I can breathewithout being afraidof not being heard.There is a pause now,ground to stand on,instead of it being wipedfrom beneath my feet.This is reliefbreaking through.For now I know—a quiet knowing that is real:nothing was wrongwith me as a frightened child.To live the indescribableis somethingto be horrified by.So when I am overwhelmed,it is not a command,not a truth,not a sentence to follow.It does not control me.It is a wave of recallthat risesand falls againwithout taking me with it.The stairs remainpart of my story.But they no longer decidehow it ends.Not because I was flawed—but because now, with compassion,I can stand beside that little boyand call him my own.

Complex cptsd situation.

replies: 20

Okay. Basically I’m in a weird situation not many would understand. I grew up with an emotionally, financially and coercive control abusive parent. Who also was a major reason I’m an only child. It put my family into poverty and many times had to be ... View more

Okay. Basically I’m in a weird situation not many would understand. I grew up with an emotionally, financially and coercive control abusive parent. Who also was a major reason I’m an only child. It put my family into poverty and many times had to be worried where we would sleep at night. The abuser often, used their passion for their favourite sport team as their weapon of choice. If the team lost it was a scary time. Basically me being their daughter meant nothing to them. So this sports team is deeply triggering to me.The abuser is now fully blown rich now and this team are now having them and their company as a partnership and made a highlight article about how they give back and want to stop poverty and involved with a charity. I feel sick, I have used this charity for support before because of this abuser but no longer can feel safe to .Basically the news of this partnership and how it keeps getting so messed up makes me feel sick, plus we gotta move soon cause our rent is going up, meanwhile the abuser has millions of dollars. I’m safe. Just had to include that.

Poems by mmMekitty TW

replies: 29

Hello everyone, I’ve written poems with content which some people may find distressing to read. I write to express thoughts & feelings. Sometimes these are vivid. I welcome any response from anyone, whether comments or with poetry of your own. * Paci... View more

Hello everyone, I’ve written poems with content which some people may find distressing to read. I write to express thoughts & feelings. Sometimes these are vivid. I welcome any response from anyone, whether comments or with poetry of your own. * Pacific Shore Thinking too much. Now I'm in pain, All those memories come up again, Who can stop the memories, put them out? Who hears my whimpering effort to shout? "Go away! Get off of me! You're not the brother I want you to be!" I can understand, but Mommy, I can't ignore - you weren't there for me. Money can’t replace your protection. No money makes up for a lack of affection. Casting your ashes off a Pacific shore Won't bring us together, no, no more. [April 2022] * Shipwreck A shipwreck, Tossed about at sea, splintered boards, Rubbish & debris, A broken heart, A shattered me. [April 2022] mmMekitty

Poetry to deal with PTSD triggers

replies: 10

Hi, First time poster here. It's the eve of my birthday, I'm in lockdown, live alone and have had a week of being triggered for a multitude of reasons. Having been in therapy on and off for years, I am picking up more and more tools to help deal with... View more

Hi, First time poster here. It's the eve of my birthday, I'm in lockdown, live alone and have had a week of being triggered for a multitude of reasons. Having been in therapy on and off for years, I am picking up more and more tools to help deal with the dark moments and more often than not (these days) cope well and manage triggers as opposed to acting out on them. I don't consider my writing good, have no idea where the words came from, but it feels better verbally dribbling them on a page. Can anyone relate? HIDE The pain is there, beneath the surface; You blink and a crack shows; Quick! Hide it, make a joke, Don't falter! "You look sad" they'll say; Laugh it off, deflect, dismiss; Just don't let it show! You'll go home, alone. You'll cry, you'll break; The wound will bleed, the pain is there; You'll sob until you're numb; Then you'll sleep. Morning comes. You look in the mirror, the pain is there; It's in your eyes, on your face and in your general demeanor; Hide it! Make-up, humor, anything. Don't let them see! They won't understand. No-one does. They never have. They never will. You'll smile and crack a joke as you arrive at work; "You look happy" they'll say; You'll wink, crack another joke and get to work. You'll go home, alone. You'll cry, you'll break; The wound will bleed, the pain is there; You'll sob until you're numb; Then you'll sleep. Finite.

Does anyone know any ways to deal with PTSD paranoia

replies: 3

I had a psychotic episode back in July 2024 caused from medications I was on at the time. I was home alone and thought that two men had broken into my house and hurt my dogs and my friends and were coming after me. When my parents came home I accused... View more

I had a psychotic episode back in July 2024 caused from medications I was on at the time. I was home alone and thought that two men had broken into my house and hurt my dogs and my friends and were coming after me. When my parents came home I accused them of not being real people and I believed that the paramedics were the men trying to get to me. After having many panic attacks and crying for over 3 hours I was then taken to hospital for the night. To sleep I now have to lock my door at night, sleep with my window shut and have a fan and music playing if not I’m likely to have a panic attack, which happen quite frequently. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, paranoia and anxiety because of this and have tried multiple medications, but none of them have really helped me. im just wondering if anyone has any tips to maybe help out with my paranoia/flashbacks when sleeping, im not expecting any quick fix or my PTSD to go away completely.Just tips on how to calm myself down when experiencing flashbacks. If anyone can give me any advice in the slightest thank you so much I really appreciate it. ☺️

I'm so weak.

replies: 2

My childhood abuser is my mother. she physically abuse me which was fair punishments, But being a single parent, I think she definitely had moments where she took it too far. I was misdiagnosed with IBS at a young age, Was just nerve damage from me n... View more

My childhood abuser is my mother. she physically abuse me which was fair punishments, But being a single parent, I think she definitely had moments where she took it too far. I was misdiagnosed with IBS at a young age, Was just nerve damage from me not using the toilet, We'd just moved from NSW escaping our "Abusive" "dad" and science partially backs up some kids don't adapt well to new changes, I happen to be one of them. You can probably assume where this is going, It was punishment I wouldn't wish upon the worst, The sort of vile punishment you only hear in barbaric threats or see in uncensored movies. My abuser is still alive, They've actually managed to spin the narrative around, Now she's seen as the perfect mother. She's not a bad person though, And she knows what she did was terrible and it eats away at her morality, She's apologized to me for it but I just quickly excepted because the nature of the abuse is so disgusting, I really do try to repress it.My Mother has liver problems now, Doctors gave her 2 years left to live. It shouldn't come as a surprise but after the abuse, I stopped being light handed, I guess in every way apart from physically, I'd become an emotional abuser which is still no better... I just wish I was strong like everyone else here, No therapy, No reporting... Or else everyone will know what happened to me.

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PTSD for Medical and First Responders

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Wife left with little boy and never came home

replies: 4