Domestic Violence

[Neeru]

My husband has extra martial affair with his sister in law now he is abusing me meantly and physical , i have one 18 month kid as well.his sister in law is overseas , now my husband wants brings her sister in law and her children in Australia in my house .he took my car so i can't go on my work and he stopped giving money as well.he block my phone number as well

ow he threatened me he gonna harm me and my baby but now my father is with me for my support i want separation with my husband but i can't afford the fees of Lawer what should i do

[White_Rose]

Dear Neeru

I am sorry you are so unhappy in your marriage and your husband is ill-treating you. It's good your father is with you to give you support.

If you contact the Women's Legal Service in your state they will be able to give you some advice and refer you to a lawyer for at least one free session. This is the Australian web address. From here you can find the web address and phone number of the organisation in your state. http://www.wlsa.org.au/ Please copy and paste this address into your browser. You can also ask them how to access the Legal Aid office in your state.

I suggest you write down everything that has happened to you since your marriage. This is easier than trying to remember when you are talking to someone.

If you feel your life is in danger you must contact your local police and ask for advice. You may be able to stop him living in your home but I am not certain of these processes. The police should be able to advise you on this.

I suggest you buy a cheap mobile phone with pay as you go facility and make sure your husband does not find it. You need to be able to contact help if circumstances warrant this.

I hope this information will help you.

Mary

[tntomo]

Hi Neeru,

This is awful to hear. I’m sorry you are going through this. I was in a very abusive relationship 10 years ago. And the best thing I done was decide to leave. It is scary and you will have a million thoughts run through your mind but your own safety and health and well being are more important. Also if you have a little one you need to think about there safety as well. I’m glad you have support through your dad. First things first - from experience you need to go to the police station and file for a DVO let them know he has put threats against you, the police will not take to that lightly, especially considering you have a little one involved and also make sure you have a safe haven you can go too. If he abuses you mentally and physically or verbally as bad as this may sound just tough it out as that is all evidence piling up against your husband. Secondly yes legal fees can be expensive but you can go to places like legal aid for help. Look to the light at the end of the tunnel. Stay strong! All the best

tntomo.

[geoff]

Hi Neeru, I'm deeply sorry for what your husband has been doing and what he wants to happen and as the others have said this is not appropriate at all.

I wonder if you could book an appointment with Anglicare who have counselling as well as solicitors who will be able to advise you on the situation you are in.

You could also go to court for an exemption if you hold certain government concession cards or you can demonstrate financial hardship and ask for their advice as well, that's what happened to a friend I took.

I am pleased that you have your father supporting you.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Neeru,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue online forums. 

We are sorry to hear about what you are going through at the moment. Please know that we take reports of abuse seriously. Our Support Service is trying to reach you via email as we are concerned about you and your child’s wellbeing.

If you are in immediate danger, please call 000. If you are not in immediate danger, we'd recommend you to reach out to 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732/ https://www.1800respect.org.au/ ) to talk your situation through.

Keep checking back in to let us know how you are going. We look forward to hearing from you. 
 

[Guest_42814504]

Hi Neeru,

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. You honestly don't deserve to be treated that way.

Your husband sounds horrible and controlling, he is doing all of these things to take advantage of you, manipulate you and trap you. I am glad that your father is there to support you through this tough time.

I too have been once a victim of my ex husbands violence and control, it got so bad that I am lucky to be alive.

You need to be strong for your child, it must be tough for you but please stay strong and well to yourself through this difficult time, it isn't your fault. Only you know what is right for you.

Please do not feel discouraged with taking legal action, there are so many support services and networks out there that can provide financial support. Depending what state you are in there are domestic violence grants, women shelters who are accommodating who are all very supportive and sensitive, but importantly you can also seek help anonymously from these services if you feel scared to go all the way, you can take it at your own pace. Another thing that could help you is try get financially independent. Have a secret bank account set up that only you know, find a hobby that you like that can generate some income to help support you and bub. These are all the things I did to fight to get out of my dv situation, fight for your rights and your child. I'm cheering for you!

You and your child deserve to have a happy life my prayers are with you.