Dear Happygolucky77~
I'd like to give you a warm welcome here to the Forum. Nobody is going to think less of you here, quite the opposite, to bear such a burden most of your life is a tribute to your strenght.
It is not you -or your young son - who are at fault in any way, yet you have to live the injuries given to you by the abusers.
Such things are so deep they are bound to have a made big change in your lives. As just one example to be betrayed and abused leaves one with great difficulties trusting and insetting on with others - even those close.
At the moment the way you talk all avenues are closed -and it is your fault. Neither one of these is true. The only thing is you may need assistance to make things better. Now part of htat could be marriage counceling to help your partner understand what you go through each day, I'd suggest Relationships Australia (1300 364 277).
The other part is professional assistance by people that are specialists in those who have been abused. It may be hard to find a GP, psychologist or psychiatrist who really does understand and treats sensibly. It is worth the effort to find out as it can make a huge difference.
I'd also recomend the Blue Knot Fondation who are there for people thathave been abused in earlier lifeand offer information, understanding and counceling. If your son is undr 25 I"d thnk the Kids Help Line ((1800 55 1800) by phone not text) would be a good place to find out more about himself and his reactions.
I had acompetly diffrent expereinece ending up with PTSD, depression and anxiety. It was not until I had the right sort of professionsl help I found how deeply these had changed my life, attitudes and beliefs. Fortunatly I'm now in a much better position.
You will always be welcome here
Croix
