My wife told me she isn’t in love with me anymore

[38yearold]

Hi all,

So my wife told me 8 days ago she isn’t in love with me anymore. We have booked some immediate counselling sessions, but she is cold, uninterested and won’t let me in.

We have a 5 year old boy. The consequences will be huge for him and financially as well.

I have been through so many emotions, fear, depression, anxiety and anger.

Not sure what to do. Looking for some guidance and support from you the community.

Many thanks in advance.

[IsaJett]

Hi 38 year old ..

my thoughts are with you ..and yeah so normal to hide in shower ..whatever works ..it’s also quite normal to wail in front of kid . I remember I did that once ...like it was totally out of control ...like a water pipe busted . I told my son ...oh I hit my head and it hurts ...lol it was actually quite comical . I’m not sure how old your son is but it’s defintely ok to talk to him about it . You are entitled to feel how you feel and it shows no weakness whatsoever ...in fact it takes a lot of strength to be vulnerable and it’s good for your kid too ..you are there for each other . So don’t feel you need to hide it from him .,,even if he is young ..or whatever age ..defintely healthy to talk about it with him then not talk about it .thats my thoughts anyways .obviously if he is young then u simplify it for him . I promise you that it will start to get better and there is life after a split ...and most likely a better one . I know of many marriages that are ripping at the seams but people hang in there for old time sakes and that’s very damaging on both parties .

the best way to look at this ...whoever fault or decision it is ...you are both setting each other free ...and that’s another form of loving someone too .

maybe u can do some meditation ...letting go Jason Stephenson is real awesome ...look him up on YouTube ..

at least get some needed sleep .hug your son tight and go to sleep with him .stay well and know that you will be better

im here often so make sure to write to us ...and keep us posted on your progress or no progress...either way ..just write ..

stay well

[Guest_7403]

Keep your chin up mate! You're doing good!

[38yearold]

So today is the first day I haven’t felt like crying. I am still extremely lethargic and have no real energy but at least I’m not sad.

I was asked out on a date today by someone who found out about my breakup. That was nice.

Not sure if I should go, or just sit at home and relax a bit more.

Hopefully I will continue to feel better a day at a time.

[Peppermintbach]

Hi 38yearold,

I’m glad you felt a little better yesterday. In a way, I’m not surprised you’ve been on a roller coaster ride of emotions. I feel break-ups, especially divorces, can bring up all kinds of emotions...

I think it’s really admirable how you’re honouring you feelings. Letting yourself feel relief when it comes but also letting the tears out when needed can be very healthy and healing in my eyes. You seem to be doing that beautifully...you’re honouring your own feelings beautifully...

I wonder if part of the fatigue is from been emotionally exhausted. A lot has happened in a short space of time...

Being asked out on a date must have been nice 🙂 Is it okay if I ask how do you feel about it?

I know some people prefer a little more time before dating again, whereas others are happy to start dating sooner. There’s no right or wrong of course, but I feel it’s just a matter of figuring out where you’re at emotionally, and seeing where you want to go from there. Either way, we will be here supporting you 🙂

Kind thoughts to you today,

Pepper

[38yearold]

Hi pepper,

Thank you for all your advice you have been a star!

It feels nice to be asked in a date, I suppose I haven’t felt wanted in a long time. I do think I will go but with no expectations, rather just a drink and a chat. No pressure.

Not sure if that’s ok or not, but I feel it’s harmless.

what are your thoughts?

[smallwolf]

Hi. I have been following your story from the sidelines. As Pepper said there is no right or wrong answer.

How would you feel if you didn't go?

Or if you did go?

You could view it as a chance of connecting with someone new?

Would you feel like you are betraying someone else? If so, why?

If someone advised against it how would you feel?

I find flipping a coin can be helpful. If you don't like the result you know what you really wanted to do.

You don't have to answer these questions here and if harmless what is there to fear?

Tim

[Peppermintbach]

Hi 38yearold (and a wave to all),

Thank you so much for you lovely comments 🙂 You made me smile...

Yes, it must have been a lovely and unexpected boost to have been asked out on a date. I hope it helps lift your confidence a little too...

Your relaxed attitude sounds great...making the most it without having too many expectations sounds like a very healthy attitude to me...

My thoughts are essentially about what you feel most comfortable with and perhaps reassessing from time to time...it sounds like you’re quite happy to agree to this date. I feel just perhaps take it one step at a time i.e. make a decision to go on date or not, go on the date (if that’s what you decide to do), then reassess if you want to continue dating or not, etc...

Kind and caring thoughts to you,

Pepper

[38yearold]

So after a month of turmoil my wife is now having regrets and thinks she wants to try and work it out. She says she still finds me attractive and fun.

I just listened to her as she was saying it and she broke down. I have booked her into the GP at 4:15 to get assessed as she clearly needs some help.

The roller coaster continues. Why is life so complicated?

[IsaJett]

Hi 38

oh boy ...hang in there 38 year old . It is time to just go with the flow right now ..just take it as it comes ...my thoughts and prayers are with you both .one way or another ...things will sort out soon enough ..it’s awesome u guys are seeing a gp and can get some help ...

.i wonder if you guys can just listen to meditation videos together ..or separately ..just so you guys can have a bit of reprieve .

jason Stephenson has some sleep meditation videos ,pick one that suits u .they r free and readily available on YouTube ,

Stay well my friend ,,we are all with you ..you are doing well ..it will get better .

[Smile31]

Hi 38yr old and hi to the others involved in this thread.

I just wanted to jump in quickly and say 38yr old, you are an amazing and very strong man. You should be very proud of the progress you have made and very proud of how you have delt with a very difficult situation at a tough time of the year.

I believe the universe is a very funny thing, and everything works out the way it's meant to. Keep on pushing through, every hour, every day and what's meant to be will be, you'll work out what's right to do in due course.

My thoughts are with you during this delicate time.

Cheers, Smile 😃