Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.


Community Member
Hey I am going through a lot of emotions right now. I have been married for 23 years, have 2 beautiful daughters and have just become a grandmother. The last year my relationship with my husband has become strained. He lost his job due to harassment and bullying and was awarded unfair dismissal however he has increasingly become aggressive and has started gambling. I have to hide money from him because he will spend it. This has caused a lot of financial stress. I was recently looking for a picture I took on his phone and found pictures of my best friend daughter on there. She is only 16. They were not pornagraphic but they were selfies she had taken on her Facebook and she was revealing a lot. This really concerned me so I had a look on his iPad and found pornagraphic pictures of young girls that looked between 15 to 18. It was hard to say if they were overage but they all looked young. Our daughter is 15! So this has me worried. I feel so sick
1 Reply 1

Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Guest_4218~

Welcome here to the Forum, I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation, and as you say it is very worrying -for many reasons.

I would think that losing a job under very adverse circumstances can be a huge blow to a person. So much of one's self-image, purpose in life, social standing and other things too are all bound up in one's employment. To loose it all may well be something some people simply can't cope with and anything, be it gambling, porn or anger can be a distraction and means of dealing with things. Not good ones obviously.

From the sound of it your husband needs professional support and the first thing of course is for him to see his behavior is harmful to all, himself included. Do you think you could persuade him to seek help?

If you think there might be someone else who would stand a better chance of doing this, his family or freinds, then perhaps you could enlist their aid.

You yourself too need support at the moment, you are going though a horrible and stressful period, with an awful lot of worry. Can I suggest that you too seek professional help, perhaps by visiting your GP. Not only can your own health be monitored but there could be information about support groups for gambling and the rest.

Do you have family or friends to care and help you? Dealing with all this in isolation would be very hard.