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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Penny743 Overanalysing in a relationship
  • replies: 3

Hi guys! I've recently started to see someone (just under 2 months now) and it's been going great. It's just casual at the moment, but I tend to overanalyse every little thing, and worry that this will turn out just like my past relationships. Someti... View more

Hi guys! I've recently started to see someone (just under 2 months now) and it's been going great. It's just casual at the moment, but I tend to overanalyse every little thing, and worry that this will turn out just like my past relationships. Sometimes if I don't hear from him for a couple of hours, my mind goes straight to thinking that he's lost interest in me and doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I've tried occupying myself with work and other activities which make me feel good, but I go straight into feeling anxious and stressed as soon as it's done. I also tend to think that the worst will happen. I just don't want this potential relationship to end up like my past ones. If anybody has got any tips or has experienced a similar situation, I would love to hear how you coped with the anxiety and worry of a new relationship. Thanks

Jussy Seperated and living together
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, I am a bit lost tonight and thought I would share my story so far. I have bipolar and my life has been up and down, when I am manic I wouldn't be easy to live and my wife who I have been with for 14 years has endured her fair share of it... View more

Hi everyone, I am a bit lost tonight and thought I would share my story so far. I have bipolar and my life has been up and down, when I am manic I wouldn't be easy to live and my wife who I have been with for 14 years has endured her fair share of it. Today she announced that as of today we are separated and she will start dating although apparently she has not met anyone yet. It is hard for me to accept as I still love her and want our marriage to work - particularly as we have two boys and I don't want to miss out on seeing them every day. I don't have anywhere to go so she kindly suggested we live together while separated. As well as suffering from bipolar I get bouts of depression and anxiety so I am concerned how i am going to handle these changes, particularly how I will cope living together if she starts dating someone. Maybe I missed the signs, but I don't know what to do.. any advice would be most helpful. Thanks

tdpat stepkids
  • replies: 6

Ive been feeling real low and stressed out dealing with the eldest step son. Always talking back, complaining about everything and we dont do anything for him. It used to never bother me until this year to the point i feel like breaking down or walki... View more

Ive been feeling real low and stressed out dealing with the eldest step son. Always talking back, complaining about everything and we dont do anything for him. It used to never bother me until this year to the point i feel like breaking down or walking out. Other areas of my life are good, i have a good job that pays well enough that she doesnt have to work fulltime so she can look after the youngest who has cystic fibrosis (very healthy most of the time). Working on getting a boat ready for summer. But i always feel guilty about the eldest step son, He was 9 and the youngest was 2 when i moved in. I have a great relationship with the youngest step son but my relationship is toxic with the eldest. I treat both kids the same, but the eldest complains i play favorites cause he misbehaves more and being 14 now we expect him to work for things like new playstation controler or fix his ipod or laptop that he breaks when he gets mad. Just wondering if there are any other stepdads in the same boat

Rengar I Don't Know What I Should Do About Her
  • replies: 9

Just over a month ago my girlfriend of 6 months and I decided to break up for the time being due to her depression, anxiety, our own personal issues, and the busy year ahead of her with last year of uni. Upon first breaking up, we had said to each ot... View more

Just over a month ago my girlfriend of 6 months and I decided to break up for the time being due to her depression, anxiety, our own personal issues, and the busy year ahead of her with last year of uni. Upon first breaking up, we had said to each other that this was simply so she could find herself again so that in future she can be a better partner to me. However, I very quickly started to think this was a mistake and that this break up was not as easy as I first thought it would be. Over the past month, my health and overall quality of life has been becoming worse each day. I am not getting enough sleep and I cannot eat without getting sick because there is a tight feeling in my chest/stomach region all the time, and the only time it seems to go away is when I’m with her again. The break up isn't a complete cut off of communication, and I think that is what has made it very difficult. She wishes to remain friends so that she has someone to come to when she needs it, as she doesn't have anyone else like that in her life apart from her psychologist. We’ve gone out together to movies and dinners plenty of times since the break up, but this has just made it more difficult to say goodbye after each time. I’ve been taking her out as if they are dates. I pay for everything and I’ve been buying her gifts; I’ve been trying to win her back. Unfortunately it all seems to go to waste as I end up bringing up my feelings about how I want her back so badly and it frequently ends up with both of us in tears. I have been clinging onto every little bit of hope possible. Even something as little as our snapchat streak is something that has me holding on, praying that she will take me back in the near future. I’ve told her how I feel, and how my life is falling apart, but she still refuses, saying it hasn’t been long enough. She is scared that she will bring me down with her illness, she won't have enough time for me, and that we are going to end up fighting and our relationship will end up in the dumps. It doesn’t matter how much I tell her that I am prepared to be with her through her depression and anxiety, how I’m prepared for the fact that she won’t have much time for me, and that I won’t let meaningless arguments ruin our relationship. She doesn’t seem to believe me. I am tired of crying, being exhausted, and getting sick. I’d rather not have to cut ties with her, she is a really lovely girl and I love her so much, but I’m tired of being upset.

Lirah My anxiety is tearing apart my relationship with my partner.
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm 21 years old and my anxiety has been really flared up the last month or so. Its having a really negative impact on my relationship with my boyfriend (been together 1 year, known him for 6) because I have a tendency to take everything out on h... View more

Hi, I'm 21 years old and my anxiety has been really flared up the last month or so. Its having a really negative impact on my relationship with my boyfriend (been together 1 year, known him for 6) because I have a tendency to take everything out on him. I'm completely in love with him but its becoming so easy to use him as a means of relieving my stress. Even tiny little things that he does that might be slightly inconsiderate sets off my anxiety and I become so angry and upset with him. I also feel I've become such high maintenance and so needy - because he cant even go to social events without me messaging him halfway through because I am having a panic attack and really don't want to be alone. Its getting to the point where his friends are accusing me of using it to emotionally manipulate him. I really don't mean to be, but its a very horrible thought for someone to say. I think it would be better for him to not be with me when I'm so unstable but I'm so scared of losing him. He's starting to get impatient with my anxious episodes and I feel like he's slipping away. Guess I'm just wondering if anyone has any advice on how to maintain a healthy relationship when you're not in a healthy mental space.

Rach07 My husband wants to separate
  • replies: 2

After knowing him for 12 years, being married for 5, my husband wants to separate from me because he wants to pursue his own interests. I’m at a loss as to why he would feel like he would need to cut me loose just because he needs to pursue his inter... View more

After knowing him for 12 years, being married for 5, my husband wants to separate from me because he wants to pursue his own interests. I’m at a loss as to why he would feel like he would need to cut me loose just because he needs to pursue his interests. I have asked if there’s someone else, he claims there isn’t. He said it doesn’t feel fair on me for him to do his own thing while leaving me behind. I have supported him through a long distance relationship for 2 years, now that he’s back, he wants to separate. I’m at a very low point right now. I don’t know how to function without him. I’ve managed to convince him to stay in the house. I’m trying to compromise but how much more I can take without losing myself I don’t know. I don’t ant to lose him. I don’t know how to live without him being mentally and emotionally there for me. I know I’ll be an empty shell without him. Please.. advice?

Nanny474747 4 year old with social anxiety?
  • replies: 6

Hi, My granddaughter seems to be having a lot trouble in social situations. She has been going to daycare since she was 8 months old (has cried nearly every day that she goes) and is now Kindy/Daycare. Any social situation whether it be the attempt o... View more

Hi, My granddaughter seems to be having a lot trouble in social situations. She has been going to daycare since she was 8 months old (has cried nearly every day that she goes) and is now Kindy/Daycare. Any social situation whether it be the attempt of school, daycare, dancing classes, sport, morning drop offs at Daycare (or school drop off by daycare staff) is faced with anxiety stress and tears. It breaks my heart not knowing how to help. My daughter is currently receiving medication for anxiety and seems to be coping quite well even with the stressful episodes. We are told that she settles down after a little while but is that really even true? If we ask her about her day or try and get her to talk about whats bothering her she says 'nothing im ok' or just brushes it off.....Please is there anything that I can help them both with to ease the stress??

LaraC Still felling extemly depessed and lonely a recent break up
  • replies: 3

We were together almost 1 and a half years. In the beginning he was head over heels in love with me (told me after just 2 weeks) I was in love/crazy about him too. we talked about moving in together and even went on an overseas holiday only a few mon... View more

We were together almost 1 and a half years. In the beginning he was head over heels in love with me (told me after just 2 weeks) I was in love/crazy about him too. we talked about moving in together and even went on an overseas holiday only a few months after we met... everything was going good, well for me anyway . slowly things started going downhill, the smallest things about me were annoying him, these became larger things... and some issues due to what his family thought about me. He thought I was very self absorbed and selfish, when infact I was quite the opposite. Cut a long story short... after about 6 months all the talk of moving in, marriage etc stopped, I accepted this because I am quite an easy going person and was just happy to let things plod along because I loved him so much and didn’t want to lose him. After a year and a half together he decided he had had enough and he broke up with me. I went onto a deep depression for a bout a week, started on some new meds and am seeing a therapist. my question is how do I stop thinking about him and continue the no contact rule? When he first ended it, I was completely in denial so wa still messaging him almost daily but now it has been almost 7 days and I haven’t called/texted nothing! I do feel good about this.... but in those really tough moments like Saturday nights or Sunday morning how can I stop myself from doing it. my therapist has since told me that he was a narcissist which explains a lot! But I still love him,miss him, and want to be with him and I’m so angry at myself for feeling that way

Ladybird1 The In-Laws not very welcoming
  • replies: 2

I have been with my partner for over 2 years now. I am 19, he is 21. We don’t live together but we either both stay at mine (I live with my dad) or we stay at his (his grandma’s house, she has recently gone into care) every night. We both work full t... View more

I have been with my partner for over 2 years now. I am 19, he is 21. We don’t live together but we either both stay at mine (I live with my dad) or we stay at his (his grandma’s house, she has recently gone into care) every night. We both work full time, I cook tea for him every night and clean both houses. We are saving up to buy a house together so it’s not just a short term thing. I have never really clicked with his family, I have always been polite and tried to get along with them but they have never gone out of there way to make me feel welcome. His parents live about 30 min drive away so we see them regularly. They go on at least 1-2 family holidays per year and they userly include another family going with them but I never get the invite. I thought this year seeings we had been together over 2 years I may have been invited but I didn’t. My partner asked if I could go as there was a spare bed but the answer was no. He only has younger brothers and none of them have girlfriends as well as the other family none of the them have partners either. but my boyfriend was making excuses for his parents not inviting me. How long do we have to be together before I am finally accepted? His mother still baby’s him, she has full access to his finances, emails ect. She will tell him “your pay slip still has not came through yet” or “your pay is late this week”. Or a few weeks ago “you only have $100 left in your account because I paid your power bill out of your account for you”. I have tried to talk to him about telling his Mum to take a step back and that your an adult now and that she can’t just do things like that without telling you but he just gets mad and tells me to leave it alone. What should I do? I’m lost.

Jems Sad daughter
  • replies: 15

My 19 year old daughter is so sad and lonely. I just don’t know how to help her now. My marriage with her dad broke up last year and my daughter, my son and myself moved house. She goes to uni and works casually and she’s always been a sensitive soul... View more

My 19 year old daughter is so sad and lonely. I just don’t know how to help her now. My marriage with her dad broke up last year and my daughter, my son and myself moved house. She goes to uni and works casually and she’s always been a sensitive soul but now I can’t say anything without it being a major issue. I know I’m not perfect nor do I try to be but I do know I’m a good Mum. My kids are both amazing humans so seeing her so miserable is heartbreaking. She doesn’t see friends anymore and rarely goes out without me. Even writing this is helping and I’m thinking probably some counselling to start with. It’s been an absolutely horrible year and I can see the toll it’s taken on them. BUT I’d also appreciate advice to help with her confidence. She’s asking why nobody likes her. Anything other than or as well as counselling? Thanks in advance.