I don't feel anything
Hello Erin1992, please let me offer you a warm welcome and understand how you are feeling, from experience its depression causing this, although I'm not qualified, it's fair to say that after suffering this myself for a long time we can relate this illness to what we have had.
I'm really sorry for the loss of your great grandma, she must have meant the world to you, I know it's never easy to cope with, but alcohol may tend to fill that void, but it's only prolonging your recovery, this is what happened to me.
Can I please suggest you go and see your doctor who may want to prescribe medication as well as refer you on to a psychologist by using the mental health plan.
This entitles you to 10 free sessions with a psych per year, and please remember you are not able to face this on your own, sometimes people believe they can and this may lead them into denial, please don't let this happen, book an appointment with your doctor.
If you feel as though you need to, can you go and stay with anyone in your family just until you get the help you need.
My best wishes.
Like Geoff, I am sorry for your loss. Geoff has also made some good points you should consider, even if not for the medication, at least see someone that you can talk to about your problems, a comforting ear can be very helpful in progressing past the issues.
Meanwhile, feel free to let us know what issues you face, we will always be here to listen, and hopefully have people who have a similar situation to yourself that can give advice as well on what they have done or avoided to get through these tough times.
At very least, we are here for you
Hi Erin, thanks so much for getting back to us and once you move out a different person will arise but please still go and visit your doctor, but I know that once I lived by myself I slowly got much better.
Please let us know how you are, we want to follow your progress.