Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Deebi, wave to all,

Give Mr Deebi a hug from me... his being able to listen & support you when you're struggling, shows he has a special gift & a big heart... good listeners are rare...

Oh lass I have a special comforting bear hug for you... I'm sad to hear you have been struggling... I'm a fan of nanna naps though I think we should call them siestas... that way we don't sound so old....

I am delighted you have been getting out & about catching up with friends... volunteering as well!!... do be careful lass... we don't want your poor body doing a major protest... mine has been playing up... I was tempted when I took Woofa to the vet on Monday for his arthritis needle to ask the vet to give me one too...

Have you been caught up in the lockdowns... even if not please do be careful when you go out... it seems to be spreading far & wide... thankfully lockdown here doesn't really affect my day to day... though I've noticed whenever I think of booking my car in for it's service we go into lockdown....

Thank you for suggesting I would be a good CC... I always worry that I might have said the wrong thing when I reply to people... it's nice to know I do get it right some of the time...

More huggily hugs

Paws

[Ggrand]

Hello beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, lovely Paws and all....🤗,

Thank you for saying I don’t pressure you...I was feeling so alone, frustrated and sad about what was happening to the Internet out here and not being able to talk here properly...

Goid news is they found a faulty part on the tower and have replaced it...yay..

It does take a lot to recover from BP, just sleep the most you can..I love nanny naps and after the Tipping point try to lay down for an hour..if sleep comes I am happy...

How do you enjoy your volunteer position?...I can imagine that you would bring a lot of light and laughter to the people you are working with....You have a great personality and beautiful soul that touches the people you are are around....

Im leaving the name of my mannequin up to you..a little about her, so it might help you...She has medium brown length hair, tall, no make up yet...I need to learn how to put make up on first..😂...She is very good at listening to me and doesn’t mind if I give her a cuddle when I feel sad or lonely...

I know your busy beautiful bbff, with your work and unpacking...so please take time out for you to do something that you like to do....

I really hope and pray that your friend will be alright...it’s really hard isn’t it knowing that our friends are so sick...I’m sorry that your friend is so sick..my heart goes out to you all....

Look after yourself precious friend..sending you big love, lots of care and lots of hugs...💚🦋🌹🧸😂..

Live to you also lovely Paws...your a beautiful lady..💜🦋🌹🧸🤗....

Love and hugs everyone reading..

Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Hiyaz dear Paws 🐾 and my bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 hi if any readers 👋

Dear loves thank you for your lovely posts everythings ok just being pretty slack atm.

Will be back soon.

Love you both a d you Mrs Grandy it runs deep sweetyheart. You're always in my thoughts with so much love concern and care 🤗🌞💫🍫💜👩‍❤️‍👩🐾💗💭✨

[Ggrand]

Hello beautiful bbff, Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Awe that’s okay Deebi..you’re allowed to be “slack” as you put it....I think better words are that your caring for yourself...and I love it that you are...

Big love dearest ever bbff💚🧸🤗....

Grandy..

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩....and waves to everyone..🤗..

Whatcha been up too bbff?...😁..

Sorry, that your back went out again, I wish that I was a back specialist so I could help you..I hope sleeping on the recliner isn’t to uncomfortable for you honey...I have been sleeping on the lounge for the past week...Just because I want to 😂..

Thank you for popping into mine...Your a beautiful bbff...💚🦋🌹..

I can’t wait until you put a bed in the spare room...Um..if it’s not to hard..I would love the walls to be painted a very soft mauve and the window sills a very creamy cream colour...maybe on the floors oh....(if it’s not to hard)..I think a very nice deep purple mat over the white floor tiles once you finish laying them...🥵....and the curtain would be nice if they were a nice white with lots of lace work on it...What do you think?....you will find everything you need in our 💼...Ohhhh don’t forget a big king size bed....I have only a double bed here...so a king bed sounds great 👍..

Takes a lot of time unpacking and deciding where to put things...you’ll get their, plenty of time honey....Do you like volunteering at Salvo’s....Please be very careful and wear your mask at all times while your in the shop..gloves are also good to protect you...Are you staying on after the person returns..or are you just their for the duration of her/his awayness....

No hurry to reply here...Just wanted to pop in and say a big hello and get a comforting hug off you....

Love goes deep precious bbff...💚🦋🌹🧸🤗.so does my care for you....Please be okay....Always.....and be good to yourself...

Love and hugs everyone..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy

[demonblaster]

Hey my gorjy bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩

Just popping in quickly to give you heaps more comforting hugs 🤗 and give you my love hun always 💜

Been ok eexcept still on the recliner.

Been playing poker but free well sometimes I buy chips. Finding it relaxing.

Adore this beautiful Mr Deebi he's a precious.

We're still moving his stuff nearly done. Be better when we get his furniture to put stuff away. Loven here.

Always love you Grandy you're da bomb my bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩💜💫🕊🌞🌈🦋👼

You're beautiful too dear Pawsy 🤗💗🕊🐾

Be well both/all readers.

Nigh night beautiful/s 😴☺

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩...

Pleased to hear your doing okay, except for your back😢....

Thank you dearest bbff for letting us know...

Big love to you and lots of hugs back....it takes two to hug..isn’t that beautiful 🌹🦋..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy...🦄👼🤝

[demonblaster]

Haha hey my bbff 👩‍❤️‍👩 Pawsy and anyone reading ☺

Ahh sweety I must have forgotten to send the house decor lady to you to tell her your specifications for the room 😂 love your ideas 😂💡so I just trotted off ...googled and learnt how to be a master carpenter 🛠🔧📎. I did have a little trouble when the walls fell down but a couple of bandaids and some chewing gum did the job. Everythings hunky dory ...phew was a bit 😶 embarrassing for a bit there.

I added something to a wall sweetyheart. The Purple edges with a touch of sparkly Red falling glitter eases into a soft Mauve on the inside. Bang in the middles an anamated beautiful 🕊 peace dove gently flying through a magnificent glowing 🌈 rainbow.

The entire walls been sculptured into a 💗 that pulsates with every gentle movement of the birdys graceful wing movement.

If you look really closely at the glitter it says in tinsy winsy writing that you can only read with these special glasses 🍷🍸 how much you're deeply loved and appreciated. It also says you're needed and such an amazing friend.

Eternal love sweetyheart 😚🤗👩‍❤️‍👩💜👀🤝

[demonblaster]

Hi dear Pawsy 🤗🐾 Grandy and readers ☺

Dear Pawsy I'm so sorry not replying sooner oops and
thank you for that hug for the beautiful sweet Mr Deebi. He's a dear man. Love him deeply the sweetheart.
He appreciated the hug.
True good listeners are rare.

Haha good point about siestas 😅 we don't sound old that way do we 😄

Yes arthritis is nasty stuff. I had a walk yesterday with Mr lovely and sticks. Ok without but easier with them at times. It's that bizzo with the back of the legs.

With the back being dicey atm I've withdrawn a bit but ok.
Poor thing being so cold where you are I imagine the joints complain somewhat.

Pretty lucky so far here with Covid hoping it stays clear. So much grief for so many. Bad news.

You're welcome Pawsy re CC I've only ever known your posts to be very supportive warm and helpful. You speak well and wisely.

Hope you're going ok there dear friend.
Big smile to Woofa and a virtual hug...too scared too if we were in rl (real life) 😅

Many thanks Pawsy. Glad to know you ☺🤗🐾🕊💗🐶🥜 meaty bone not a Pumpkin in virtual land 😉...wait up...here we go...🍗...now we're talkin yum. Cya darl


😀

[Croix]

Dear DB and all~

I'm glad you were able to get out for a walk, even wiht 2 sticks. I find Just being somewhere else takes the mind away from the normal mundane problems.

I only occasionally use 2 sticks, so keep a folding one in my jacket pocket. Has come in handy a few times -can you do the reverse and if going good fold one up for a bit?

From the description of your pulsating heart wall I reckon my iceberg got off light.

Croix