Surviving: Being in a better place
Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.
I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.
The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.
My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.
Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.
I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders
Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky
If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.
BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.
I know that now.
Hello Beautiful Deebi👩❤️💋👩, mmMeKitty and everyone…..🤗..
I thought I would pop into your thread bbff and give it a nice spouse up… remember sweetheart that you don’t have to post, there is no obligation at all within the walls of these amazing forums 🤗😊..
I wanted to call in and give you a giant picnic basket, full of…now let me see what our 💼 hides inside of it….floor 1….yep first floor because most important is our non calorie, no fat goodies….Umm, here I found a large packet of Toblerone…yummy, also I found some Cherry liquor chocolates, they’re okay because they are fruit.😂..oh and L👀k…Toffee apples have to be healthy..they are fruit also😂….oh, oh, some popcorn yummy…its vegetables..so they’re okay😂..a box of liquor filled chockies, they’re good to..they help relax us😂..and take away our thirst😂😂..so many goodies I found….A cake?….okay just for you Howz about a Black Forest cake….Okay I packed our picnic 💼..so let’s you, mmMeKitty, Paws, and anyone who wants to join us….jump onto the elevator coming from our 💼 and reaching up to the stars…not sure which star you want to picnic on…I’ll let you pick..
- ⭐️ which has a fun water slide, 💦
- ⭐️ which has a rain forest..🌳
- ⭐️ which has a beach 🏖
- ⭐️ which is full of butterflies 🦋.
- ⭐️ which grants our wishes….
- and the ⭐️ goes on and on…
Maybe we might even meet up with our gorgeous Deendy 🐉 or some magical 🦄 unicorns…yours mmMeKitty’s mine and everyone’s imagination is the only limit we have to place ourselves into a calming, beautiful and serene place….
I hope you are better then okay Deebi👩❤️💋👩….and please beautiful bbff, take it very easy with your packing…a little each day will get it done…please don’t stress over it honey…maybe you could even take some smaller boxes over there every so often if it’s empty now and your new landlord/lady lets you…hmmmm…not sure but just thought I would mention it😁..
How are you Deebi?….oh…okay let me l👀k in my 💼…..yes my bbff we have them in here…Chocolate coated strawberries 🍓.…yes healthy as well…good on you for thinking of them😂😂😂…couldn’t forget them…they are one of my favourite desserts to have through the hotter months….
Love you so much, and thinking of you daily with the best wishes I have been within my heart.💕💙💕🦄🐉🦄👁..🤗🤗🤗🤗…
[LRC comes zooming in almost the speed of sound, on some nifty roller skates no longer lost, but found!] Joining your picnic, I am! I like the liquor cherry chocolates, & the Black Forest Cak - haven't had some for years. So yummy!
But I really have followed Grandy to see that you, DB, are keeping well (stocked up with chocolate!)
Seriously, I check here often to see if you are okay ... & I am bringing a star with a very cosy adjustable bed with a warm doona o fluffy pillows, & myself here to purr at your side.
Hey there beautiful dear friends 🤗
So lovely to see youse. Hoping everyone’s well. I have been intermittently catching up on your shenanigans on the berg. Plenty of activity & variety there.
I see the kiwis oh did I mention how proud I am of the All blacks, commiserations to the Aussies that was a powerful game. Hard loss but as always close.
Grandy my darlin friend 👩❤️💋👩 always love your posts thank you sweety very uplifting and to you all I really do appreciate youse, think often about our lovely friends here and past.
I often mean to come and chat as per so much thought not enough action.
it’s taken a very long time a lot of thought so in about 3ish mths I’m going to take meds. Slack having to control the best most amazing feeling anyone can have. Pure happiness in mania. I’m still coming along way with it all but it’s slow and so often it’s still dam hard getting through the down side.
Going to have a good chat again with my lovely GP he listened to where I’m at how far I’ve come etc and said in some cases they’re doing micro medication which suits me fine.
We’re in the process of moving again, boyo isn’t it insanely full on esp through BP but I’m learning we can’t afford to allow much thought and feeling about how hard it all is. Certain downer. Instead every bits closer to our goal.
All going well we have a 2br. Op shops getting a lot of stuff & friends. I’m also learning to let go 😎not easy but happening and ok.
Sometime I’ll come to your threads I really do care deeply about you beautifuls.
Grandy always love and thoughts. Thank you dear friends youse mean so much. Pawsy you too lovey I’ve been reading at times too. So glad Woofas ok last I heard poor darling.
care always to you all 😀 Grandy pubAok yAdimh precious friend 👩❤️💋👩👀🌈🌸💭
As always, a pleasure to se you around.
Moving isn't always easy. Seems to me it is harder the older I get, with more & more stuff to move, or decie to not take with me, each time. I want to move somewhere else, too, but find the task of clearing out things I don't want, can't use, hav too much of, all so daunting, I think I need help to get that done. Even if I don't find a better place to move to, I still want to clear out a lot of this accumulated stuff just sitting around here.
Wish I could take it all to Croix's iceberg!
I'm glad you are able to talk to your GP & come up with a plan for meds. I understand the manias can be wonderful, but isn't it true that while in mania you can make rash decisions, or spend more than you can afford, things like that? Then, when the mania ends you have the consequences of that to deal with? & the meds can help make the lows not so low, too? But, of-course, you don't want to feel flat either. Have I got that right?
No worries about not answering. I think it's great you are busy, doing, even mundane things, which are all for the benefit of you, your life, your future.
& of-course, taking time to pick flowers for Grandy - so thoughtful & kind.
It's all good. But you'd better keep an eye on the Tia Maria or some sneaky kiwis will get a hold of it & sneak away with it in their bellies.