Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[startingnew]

Hi SL


wow I hadnt realsied there was another page when I posted this morning! Sorry


how is your headache tonight? Any better?

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

Im really very sorry I didn't bring you dinner. That's not nice of me.. I said I would come visit and I didn't.. I feel really bad 🙇‍♀️.

Deebi no I missed the post before BP.. geez im not thinking properly, I usually read right back, but I didn't. 😢..

Im doing everything wrong today.. . I'm pleased your BBQ is on tomorrow, I hope you have a good time and get and give lots of hugs, and talks...Oh and of course, yummy BBQ food.. you'll be so hungry, geez , your dinner I put in the fridge for tomorrow night..😏🙃..

I think that is just perfect Deebi, I'm Please you met up with your friend and chatted, that's really so precious....My friend here in town, is 77 yrs old, beautiful person, she is very active as well, but I'm worried about her, she is starting to get a lot of illness lately, before never sick...

I hope you sleep really good tonight and enjoy your BBQ a lot, and chats with friends as well.. enjoy your day honey...

Good Night Deebi, my post here is probably all over the place I'm all right, just my mind isn't at the moment...but I had to come visit because I feel horrible because I didn't bring you Dinner 😢..not much of a 👩‍⚕️..

Love you Deebi..💜🌹..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..

[Peppermintbach]

Hi DB and all,

I love how you quoted me entired post. Lol.

You sound much more upbeat in your latest post. It’s as though you’ve had newfound clarity. Those moments of self insight are to be cherished 🙂

Um, 3 chocolates for one leaf of a 3-4 leaf clover? Lol. You sure are tough to bargain with...so essentially you’re asking for 9-12 chocolates for a whole 3 or 4 leaf clover? Lol. The things I do for you...hands over 12 chocolate bars.

Thank you gratefully for your kindness. I’m okay. I honestly don’t mind being a little disconnected. It’s a nice break for me 🙂

Super soul hugs and chocolates,

Pepper xoxo

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

Howz my very special, Deebi, are you okay.,🌹. I'm missing the Magic the bring to my day 🦄.🌹

I hope your BBQ was good on Tuesday afternoon, and you got and gave some special friendly 🤗...

Oh poor Deebi,...You must be so hungry, lol the 🛴, or 🏍 not working last night, couldn't get to yours, was really 😭 about it..I missed you so much..as I am now...Please be Okay. I'm concerned about you...

Special dinner tonight I'll bring it over later then heat it up while we just sit and chat with a long tall glass of watermelon, carrot and celery juice...sounds yummy...After dinner maybe some star gazing 🌟💫✨🌝 laying on a aerobed 🙃🙃 and watching the twinkling stars..

Did you have an outing today, um a walk 🏄‍♀️ Oops lol that's not walking, 🏌🏻‍♀️ Lol oops. This time ⛷..how good would that be to get down hills...ah here you are 🏃🏼‍♀️...How are your feet? .

L💜VE..you Deebi..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹..Grandy..

🙋..waves and warm caring hugs to everyone..

[demonblaster]

Hey lovelies 😊

Out again soon so just a quicky for a change

Mandy darlin brilliant using the 🙊 saw them but didn't think too. Awe chooky you're never alone here darlin we're virtually always with you. Thanks dropping by 🤗

SLD nothing to be sorry about lovey ☺ thanks too dropping in and for asking bout head, woke up after being sick and it was gone for a day, got pills been eating them within allowances last couple days less severe but can't budge the sucker.

Pepstar 😂 and thanks to you too dropping in. You know its a bit rude not bringing choccy with ya oh wait up you did 😶. 😅yeah I like your clover Maths ohhh yeahhhh babyyyyy gimmmeeeed da choccyyyyyy excuse me while I wipe saliva. Disconnection I understand fully what you're saying tho I think for healing we need to feel but then our minds are on overload so it's a balance we need maybe. Always great seeing you daily.,🤗

Gotta choof gotta lift coming cyaz later or tomoz 🤗

Hey Grandy thanks for your zaney post always uplifting and I mean this it is to see all of yous. Truth

🏃‍♀️

[Sapphire_]

Heya Deebi.

Sorry again for not being around much. Need to try harder.

How are your heals now? Are they better? Im not sure if you posted already. I try to read everything but nothing seems to stick in my brain anymore.

Thank you for your invite to the campfire. When is it and where is it?

💐🌹🌻some flowers since i been away. Hopefully they brighten your day

P.S ive missed you on my past few days off. I hope your doing well. Should have said this first.

🍍some sweetsweet pineapple too

💙Sapphire xx

[demonblaster]

Haha that was a quicky and still a book but I adressed 3 lovelies so that's my excuse 😆

Grandy darl thanks but honestly you have nothing to apologise about ☺ re fantasy thread. You didn't know I was thinking on it & haven't yet mastered being a good host but will and there's so much here I want to do.

Thanks bbq was great everyone loves them and yes pretty much hug them all often and they're hugging eachother now too which is beautiful. I'm going to join another MH group too but f.nitely cause I have special group. Shame it clashes, they do social too I know at least 3 that go.

Healthy drink great and tea ohhh yeahhh baby bring it on, plenty of 🍗🥓 meat plz if that's ok

You do great posts, all of them 👌did I forget to say the fuel for 🛴 is 🍫 ..you have to see Ms stasher alias Pepstar. Watch her she's a bit tight on it but if you pay with ☘she's pretty cool don't tell her I told ya.

Thanks for caring 😚 foot seems to be on some hills damn it, I have to walk for mh out of house amongst people but mainly core strength for back that's either deteriorating or a small out (think/hope latter) if I sit anywhere low its dicey but ok ish. Need to get this last 25ish kg off and will soon 😁 ish 🍫🍟🍔🍕🍦 Seafood diet, see food and eat it 😆

Floss I steal some of your goods like cloud stuff is that ok in fantasy. It's a compliment to you but if you prefer me not to I understand 👍

I'll do a BP soonish. Probs going to coccoon mostly during this episode to here and read main threads to keep up. Trying different things, I've.👂🏻?triggers could be but with/out here the downs were tragic like some in the last cycle recently.

Lot of social lately different people and calls texting messenger,so much better if friend requests leave a message otherwise I'm suss. Just catching up with one of my v.good kiwi friends.

Family doing another Cancer cuppa so staying over at MIL god I love her. Oh read 1 to her so far of yours she really liked it. Be great seeing them, lot of love reciprocated

Gunna choof before run outta characters

Thank you dear lovely people yous rock biggly 😚🤗

Love Grandy 💑💗💜👀

[Ggrand]

Good Night, Deebi 🦄..

Sounds like your getting heaps of social,outs. That's really good Deebi, I'm happy for you..and mil you said before you love her deeply 💜🌹 how precious is that...Please can you give her a star n rose broach, 🌟🌹🌟...because she must be a very beautiful person. .oh...oh...a rose and star broach for you..little different from each other, but the same, stars for brightness into your soul's and the rose is for the beautiful hearts you both have..

Not feeling good about other Deebi...

Awe honey, Please you don't have to ask me, anything I say to you or give to you, is for anyone that needs help..I like trying to help to others here..but idk sometimes...Please don't comment here..just my thoughts..

Im sorry your going into BP, know I'll be here for you, keeping a 👀 out and both 👂 listening, just in case you need a gentle reminder of how strong you are...please just keep me in the know of how you are doing..I need to know for me..💜..Please be okay Deebi..

Our towns having biggest Morning tea, No sure when..but I'm going to try making it my goal to attend and I might go one step further and make some little cakes..

Ok I'm gonna try and sleep now even for a few hours, I'm not getting enough, I hope you sleep good Deebi..

Love you Deebi..💜..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜Grandy..

[demonblaster]

What a treasure thanks lovely one 😀 I will tell her she'll be wrapped.

Sorry lovey not sure what you mean about you're not sure about other 🙂 do u mean the just here bit? If so I'll explain tomoz.

Going to a special group sports carnival tomoz it'll be awesome.

Like you did lol that went deep loved you saying you were wearing the broach all the time and apart from pricking my finger I am too. Its adorabubble 🤗 hope it doesn't jab me in my sleep, that'll be dream and a half 😲🤤

You go from strength to strength, the cuppa how cool you make me so proud. You're a tower of strength my lady

Good on me, ask this last 😉 how are you darlin? Glands still sore? Mentally? Some friend I am I usually check on you amongst the first when I'm on but did a quicky in Croixys thread cause I spoke to our beautiful ,Pammy too and have been meaning to get back for a while. Didnt do any other reading I don't think even logged off earlier. You know how much I care and love you though aye sowwy 🤗😚

Bloody urghh the lovely bloke that picked me up said he's got beeping prostate Cancer (CA, cancer) curse it. I know they're getting better but prostate has a lower survival rate. We're close enough that we kiss on the lips, friends not other. Damn CA. Great thing he's got a fantastic attitude towards it. Having it removed soon. Tried to look at positives said is it in early stages and he's 9 outta 10 on bad stage. Bugger it!

Anyway gunna have a cuppa sometime before the op. On saying all that maybe wishful thinking but I've got hope for him.

Sheez nearly 2 now, gotta get up early to bus.

Thx sorry such big bloody posts, I'll get there one day ...yeah... as if...😊

[startingnew]

Hey SL xox

Popping in to say hello and wishing you a good (if not better) day

Oh and to drop by some of these... 🍫🍰🍩

Hello to Grandy, Sapphire, Pepper and all here too.

❤♥💝💟💖💛💕💚💙