Introducing mmMekitty

[mmMekitty]

I am mmMekitty, named for my cat, (my avatar), who lived 7 years. It has been five or so years since, but I still miss her. Mekitty an I had a simpler relationship than any I have had with people.

The photo is the one I to retrieved after my hard drive crashed. She had wandered off, was away for six days, when she turned up again in the middle of the night. I cried with relief. This was the photo I used for her Lost Cat poster I put up around the neighbourhood at the time.

As for me, I cannot see the detail of the photo nearly as well as I did then, and then my sight was poor. I am now using text-to-speech software, zooming on my pc, voice over. Since I find this stuff difficult, I get really frustrated.

I used to keep all my emotions in check, so much so, I thought and said I did not have any feelings or reactions to anything. That changed and I could not deny the existence of my emotions. It was a terrifying time. What was happening to me? I was falling apart and all this unidentifiable stuff was pouring out.

I have had to learn so much since I began seeing the Psychiatrist I saw back then (1993 - 95). From learning I had to put words to the experiences, name, own, accept them. Still uncomfortable. I beat up on myself too much, I know.

I used to do things I can no longer do to my own satisfaction. I still sing, but not like I used to. I cannot paint like I did. I cannot use pen and paper to write, so have managed to adapt to keyboard. That is something. I have been working on being more sociable, less isolated, but last year, when COVID-19 retrictions required face masks be worn, I found I could not - which is what brings me here.

I have had to curtail so much of what I had been doing. I am feeling the isolation now. How ironic! I resisted even thinking I needed anybody, then I try to have some friends, join a writers' group, get help with things like housework and shopping, going to places for fun and entertainment, only to have to withdraw again because I cannot wear a mask. It bites, like a scorpion.

I will make a thread, now I found the place to click to create one! I think my problem was with how I have my desktop appearance. It looks like any ordinary link, hiding below another, for creating a feed link. Now I know.

I suppose I will get around to talking more about myself. I will need to be careful about how involved I become, so please, don't expect me to pop up everywhere. I would burn out if I did that.

(Purring) mmMekitty

[Paw Prints]

Hello mmMekitty, wave to all,

"That doesn't address my difficulties with feeling I get 'too involved' with other people's problems, & thinking that hasn't been healthy for me.

But I don't want to abandon anyone I've been getting to know here, either.

This has become quite a dilema for me."

Lass I think that is a point we all reach here on the forums.  It's not possible to be here for everyone & all the time.  I needed to cut back on the number of new threads I reply to, as I can find them triggering or leaving me feeling like I was trying to carry the world & emotionally drained.  Now I only reply to new threads when I feel I can cope & I limit the number I reply to.   

As for the threads of the people who have been on the forums for a while that I have gotten to know. I did decide to not continue replying to some people as I could see they had a lot of support from others.  The ones I do reply to or who reply to me are people I feel the most comfortable with replying to their ups & downs (or fun nonsense/imagination) & I hope they have been on here long enough to know that none of us should feel any pressure to reply & that people will reply when or if they can.  It is ok not to reply ever or to not reply until you feel able.  

It is nice to see a LRC is teaching Sumo to get up to mischief 😉

Hugs

Paws

[Croix]

Dear MK, PP and ER~

This place is supposed to do do two people good, the poster and the one that answers. If you find responding becomes too taxing then a rethink is only wise. It does not have to be black and white, and go from responding flat out to nothing, but choosing the ones who are least demanding and answering less overall may still give you both benefit.

As PP has pointed out, we are not the only people here and the responsibility is not really all on our shoulders even for those we have interacted with. Remember you have already done good and at best we are only a part of their lives.

ER, your residence reminds me of an episode of the original Star Trek called "The trouble with  tribbles"

As for embarking on a new course of therapy, I think I'd be hesitant too. I have reached the stage where I'm more or less coping and I'd not want to upset that.

Croix

Croix

[mmMekitty]

I remember The Trouble with Tribbles episode very well. I've thought there could have been a marketin #1 just selling gluffy balls - a six pack, maybe, & calling them 'Tribbles'. As a kid I would have loved to have them all over the room, even though sharing with sibs, who probably wouldn't have liked them nearly so much. If they were being made today, I"m sure some trebly sounds & vibrations could be emitted by them, more trembly the more they are petted... I don't know why they were never produced - could have sold billions!

Thanks for your replies, Croix, Paws & ER. 

Are you looking forward to being able to upload pics again, for your avatar? Now I'm thinking I could upload temporary pics again, I'd better get to making a few to use..... might be able to use my old Easter pick very soon! (It's a little too soon to think I can make a new one in time). I'd really like to, while I still can make pictures at all - it's getting so difficult, even making basic pics.

I have a new large whiteboard on my fridge, primarily to jot down a thing for my shopping list, but also I can try to draw some pics, using a very large tipped whiteboard pen. I still can't aim & make the lines meet up where I want, but it's better than nothing.

Here's an idea, mmMekitty, why not get some coloured whiteboard pens & colour-in your whiteboard pics, then take photos of them & use them for the occasional avatar pic on BB? 

Hmm? That's a great idea, LRC. Thanks!

That's okay, mmMekitty, so long as I get to be in a pic or two....

It's a deal.

Did you know those baby penguins bounce just like Tribbles? If they also multiply the same as Tribbles, we could be outnumbered within the week.

Hugzies everyone

mmMekitty

[Eagle Ray]

Dear MK, Croix and Paws,

I’m outnumbered already by fluffy penguin chicks. They’ve taken up residence in every nook and cranny of my home!

I’ve never had an avatar as yet. I did try uploading one once and it didn’t work, but maybe it will soon be possible.

I was curious about Tribbles as I couldn’t remember them from Star Trek so I just found and watched The Trouble With Tribbles clip on YouTube. I can see they are little round furry creatures. Captain Kirk has opened a hatch and is chest deep in Tribbles that fell out of it 😂 It must have been hard not to laugh at times when acting in Star Trek. I can indeed see a similarity between Tribbles and the penguin chicks bouncing about.

Bye for now,

ER

[mmMekitty]

Ha ha, ER & everyone - Yes, we do now get to upload new avatars - or old, as it seems to be. I tried to upload a pic of Bronion, my brown onion flower, to show everyone & it didn't work. Looks like it does now! So, for the time being, that avatar of mine is not Mekitty. It is Bronion... until I change it again... maybe soon....

& I think that's Croix/s 'Gone Fishin'' sign intended for the beginning of this year when Croix had a well-earned annual break from our Pesky Penguin & Inebriated Kiwi nonsense.... 

It's lovely to see your Eagle Ray avatar, ER, even though, to my eyes, it looks rather like a blue kite in the snow! RC is already trying to chase after you, trying to catch your tail!

Hugzies

mmMekitty

[Eagle Ray]

Ha ha, yes, the avatar I tried to upload a while ago has now appeared. It does indeed look like a kite. I thought it was a balloon just now then remembered it was my avatar. I like Bronion, your wild onion flower. Is that a photo you took MK?

I’m watching The Three Amigos at the moment and really enjoying it. I love simple, fun movies like that. I feel like it’s hard to come by such movies these days.

Yikes, LRC, you’ve got my tail! Hehehe 🤣 

I can see Croix’s Gone Fishin’ sign. 

Goodnight MK (or Good Morning where you are).

Hugs,

ER

[mmMekitty]

Hello ER,

Yes, that is a cropped (zoomed) photo of Bronion.

I had a brown onion beginning to sprout new leaves in my kitchen cupboard. They were such a pretty green, I simply had to see what would happen if I balanced the onion on the top of a narrow jar, letting the roots touch the water below, & the roots grew, & grew! The pretty leaves also grew & grew! Bronion was named, then given a larger jar, & a protective shield from direct sunlight, while growing in my living room window during the winter months. Then the sunlight no longer reached the tall green leaves, & a few seemed to be stalks with bulb tips. So, then I rehomed Bronion into a pot, (well, two pots, one atop the other, to let the roots dangle into the potting mix, with some fertilizer beads) & found a place at my back stairs where the sunlight could reach the green leaves & stalks. I regularly gave Bronion some water, keeping the soil damp. & Bronion just kept growing. The stalks, one by one, grew taller & the leaves became too long & heavy to support themselves, & drooped. Then one bulb began to open into the many petaled flower bulb (I don't know what to call it). The tiny greamy petals felt like thin taper. No scent. I never spotted bees or other insects around it, either. It got so tall it was struggling to stand up without support. At least a metre tall. The other two stalks also opened in the following few weeks. I read about the tiny seeds they eventually have.. never found or maybe they were like grains of sand.. anyway, eventually they seemed to be dying & I let Bronion dry out in the pot. Then, much to my surprise, when I finally decided it was time to clean up myback step, I discovered two small onions in the dry soil. They looked healthy enough, just small.

So now I know what happens if I plant a brown onion... 😸 But I can only imagine what might happen if I only knew what I was doing & had really healthy soil. Monster onions?!

The avatar pics show up bigger in 'My Profile' (I took a look at yours. I'm glad I can still do that much.)

Hugzies

mmMekitty

Oo it has gone past midnight for me!

[Paw Prints]

Hello mmMekitty, wave to ER,

It's great we can at last see Bronion's flower.   I'm surprised how pretty it is, I thought it would be more umm lets say drab.   If you ever plant chives do leave some to flower they are very pretty flowers too.  Did you replant the two little onions you found?

The avatars are hard to see, thank you for the tip to click on the person to see the larger size in their profile.

Hugs

Paws

[Eagle Ray]

Wow, Bronion sounds spectacular! What a journey. It’s truly amazing watching nature unfold. It’s nice to know the story behind the photo. I like how you just kept on adapting to Bronion’s growth and seeing what happens next. It sounds like you had potential for entering one of those giant vegetable competitions with your experience with Bronion. As you say with the right soil monster onions sounded indeed possible.

Many years ago I grew quite a few seedlings from scratch using egg cartons and seed raising mix to start with. It was amazing putting this tiny seed in the soil and then seeing what emerged and how it developed. I then planted them out in veggie garden beds I’d prepared once big enough. I got into growing heirloom varieties of vegetables that you can’t usually buy at the supermarket. I grew a type of orange tomato called Orange Verna and a chilli called Hungarian Yellow Wax among others.

It’s getting late here now so I must go and swim under that ledge in the reef where I’ll snooze with some fish and sea snails. There’s bright moonlight tonight and it creates a luminous effect in my undersea world.

May you have lovely dreams MK 😴

[Eagle Ray]

Hi there Paw Prints,

I didn’t see you there as you posted the same time as me. Looks like you’re up late now too. I’ve just been standing on the back lawn in the very bright moonlight. I’m sure the moon does something that makes me awake on such nights. Even the plants seem enlivened by the moon. I’m probably going to dream of giant onion plants in the moonlight now 😂

Do you grow any veggies at the moment Paws?

Hugs,

ER