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Introducing mmMekitty

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

I am mmMekitty, named for my cat, (my avatar), who lived 7 years. It has been five or so years since, but I still miss her. Mekitty an I had a simpler relationship than any I have had with people.

The photo is the one I to retrieved after my hard drive crashed. She had wandered off, was away for six days, when she turned up again in the middle of the night. I cried with relief. This was the photo I used for her Lost Cat poster I put up around the neighbourhood at the time.

As for me, I cannot see the detail of the photo nearly as well as I did then, and then my sight was poor. I am now using text-to-speech software, zooming on my pc, voice over. Since I find this stuff difficult, I get really frustrated.

I used to keep all my emotions in check, so much so, I thought and said I did not have any feelings or reactions to anything. That changed and I could not deny the existence of my emotions. It was a terrifying time. What was happening to me? I was falling apart and all this unidentifiable stuff was pouring out.

I have had to learn so much since I began seeing the Psychiatrist I saw back then (1993 - 95). From learning I had to put words to the experiences, name, own, accept them. Still uncomfortable. I beat up on myself too much, I know.

I used to do things I can no longer do to my own satisfaction. I still sing, but not like I used to. I cannot paint like I did. I cannot use pen and paper to write, so have managed to adapt to keyboard. That is something. I have been working on being more sociable, less isolated, but last year, when COVID-19 retrictions required face masks be worn, I found I could not - which is what brings me here.

I have had to curtail so much of what I had been doing. I am feeling the isolation now. How ironic! I resisted even thinking I needed anybody, then I try to have some friends, join a writers' group, get help with things like housework and shopping, going to places for fun and entertainment, only to have to withdraw again because I cannot wear a mask. It bites, like a scorpion.

I will make a thread, now I found the place to click to create one! I think my problem was with how I have my desktop appearance. It looks like any ordinary link, hiding below another, for creating a feed link. Now I know.

I suppose I will get around to talking more about myself. I will need to be careful about how involved I become, so please, don't expect me to pop up everywhere. I would burn out if I did that.

(Purring) mmMekitty

789 Replies 789

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear mmMekitty~

To know a little of the people who were killed or injured and honor them is quite healthy, it's a very human trait. It is however only half the story, there are the actions of all those brave persons, private citizens,  who had the courage not to run, or wait for backup, but displayed great presence of mind and courage in trying to stop this person or help others.

 

For that police inspector it was not the just the training, it is pure bravery to conquer her fear, assess the situation and run into harm's way on behalf of strangers.

 

There are good people in this world.

 

Croix

Eagle Ray
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Dear MK,

 

I also find the repetitive reporting a bit much to do deal with. For sometime now I have mainly only looked at the news on my phone where I often choose not to look at audiovisual accounts of particularly stressful events. I can read the article about it if I want to, but if I'm not feeling up to anything on the traumatic side I just click on other news articles to read. I feel like it leaves me more in control of what I'm exposed to, because like you I can find it gets a bit much to cope with. It is good to be informed about what is happening in the world but sometimes to limit exposure at times too.

 

I do very much like what you say about honouring the victims with attention. I feel like it makes a difference somehow, the more people feeling empathy for them the better and it is good to feel and send that compassion from the heart. These things remind us all of our human frailty and how important care and compassion is.

 

Hugs,

ER

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello everyone

 

There has been much sympathy & sadness has been offered to the victims of the attack of last Saturday.  I wanted to underline, my heart goes out to the man who lost his life to his mental illness & his mum, who I saw briefly, who, I susupect, lost her son to his mental illness years ago.

I fear we simply have a system which cannot support everyone who needs such support.

 

there, but for fortune, go you or I ... *

 

[*A song, There But For Fortune,by Phil Ochs, performed by Joan Baez. ]

 

Hugzies

mmMekitty

Eagle Ray
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Dear MK,

 

I agree that we have a system that struggles to support all those who need it. The more we can also understand what leads to poor mental health outcomes the better too. I'm having a listen to the Joan Baez song now having just found it on YouTube. It's lovely and moving.

 

I was in a neighbouring town the other day. There are more and more homeless people on the street there now. As I was reversing out of a car parking space I saw a homeless man standing in the middle of the care park cleaning his teeth. I thought I wonder why he is standing in that spot in particular. He then spat out the toothpaste into a drain and I realised that was the reason. I thought how his mental map of the landscape is different from those of us fortunate to have a roof over our heads and a bed to sleep in each night, plus our own bathroom. He has to navigate his daily needs publicly whether he likes it or not. When I see someone selling a copy of The Big Issue I often buy a copy and will have a chat with them. They have often been dealing with very harrowing circumstances themselves. I just think of these things because we need as a society to better understand how people struggle and not treat people as invisible. At least with mental health there is less stigma than there used to be, but there is still stigma and judgement that can make it hard for people to open up about their struggles and vulnerability. We just have to keep working on creating a compassionate society.

 

I must go to bed now, it's just clicked over into morning here!

Hugs,

ER

Hi Kitty 😺 and everyone 🖐

 

Kitty I’ve been meaning for over 100 yrs …yes they say I hold my age well…to pop in and see you. 
Finally here!

 

Just want you to know you’re appreciated very much. So often I mean to reply to you and forget, often the heads south or extremely tired/exhausted as a result of. 

At times I read your and other lovelies here posts and want to support but am not up to it. My apologies for that. It’s far from not wanting to I assure you. 

I do hope you’re managing as well as can be. As mentioned my heart goes out to people with sight impediment as well as I consider you a friend. 

Thank you for standing by others including our beautiful Grandy and myself. 

It’s honestly really good knowing you. 

Take care hun. See you around the traps. 

😺 we have many more laughs and good times ahead. 

Care & friendship…Deebi 🙂

 

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear MK~

I'll start with a verse from the Animal's song

We gotta get outta this place
If it's the last thing we ever do
We gotta get outta this place
'Cause girl, there's a better life for me and you

 

I don't know if you feel much like it at the moment but I'd be more than happy if you could curl up, describe  and reminisce about LRK, the habits she had, the (probably naughty) tricks she got up to, and her likes and dislikes.

 

I could use a change

 

Croix

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear mmMekitty~

you are normally a pretty talkative puddy-tat but have said less than usual for the last couple of weeks. I just wanted to remind you that your freinds are here.

 

Croix (you wanna clam?)

Fiatlux
Community Member

Hey Dear mmMekitty,

 

Have been thinking about you a lot and missing your gorgeousness in the socials.

 

Have you had your pc issue sorted? Hope all is well with you and hope to see you soon.

 

Fiatlux 🙏🏼🤗❤️🌻

Dear mmMekitty~

As I think you may have been a little quieter than usual I thought I"d mention that it seemed to coincide with that Saturday's terrible events.

 

One of the things I notice about myself is that when I"m heading back into depression one of the first things is I hurt and despair about the short-shortsightedness, stupidity and ability or desire to do harm that affects so much of humanity and the lack of resources or remedy

 

My despair makes me feel for the whole world, which is to large a matter for any one person. Normally I simply try to look after those I am surrounded by or meet, and that is really how it should be -a person sized task. When the depression lifts I'm back to this level, and better for it.

 

I'm only guessing  by mentioning this , if the events have affected you I am sure you are wise enough to seek recourse.

 

We will be here because we care about you even if we only appear to exist as words though your screen reader.

 

Have a 🐧 to be getting on with

 

Croix

Hello Dear MK,

 

Hearing things in the news can be very upsetting even heartbreaking at times, people like yourself, many others and myself feel it deeper in our soul due to our high empathy for other people…we at times can experience their pain and hurt….downing us deeply into depression…

 

It is sad that not everyone can receive the help they so desperately need…I wish it was very different then how it is….

 

TV news has changed so much, running over and over again for days on top of days the tragic events that took peoples lives, which unfortunately does cause anxiety, stress and ptsd downers in a lot of people struggling with mental health….I’m not sure if the media knows how much damage they are doing to their audience…all they are interested in is their ratings…many years ago, I’m going back over 50 years, news broadcasts were not live….news was read from a script…

 

Its okay MK….take time out for yourself, your mental health, your emotions and try hard to take the best care of you that you can…I wish I could be there for you in person, just to give you a hug and let you know how much we all love and care for you…and we will all sit quietly next to you until you feel up to being here again….well not to quiet, I mean we are here for you always ready to chat about how you’re feeling and to try to give you our caring and loving support..You are a very important person in our lives precious friend…

 

Big hugs sweet Kitty..🤗🤗

Grandy..