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Introducing mmMekitty

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

I am mmMekitty, named for my cat, (my avatar), who lived 7 years. It has been five or so years since, but I still miss her. Mekitty an I had a simpler relationship than any I have had with people.

The photo is the one I to retrieved after my hard drive crashed. She had wandered off, was away for six days, when she turned up again in the middle of the night. I cried with relief. This was the photo I used for her Lost Cat poster I put up around the neighbourhood at the time.

As for me, I cannot see the detail of the photo nearly as well as I did then, and then my sight was poor. I am now using text-to-speech software, zooming on my pc, voice over. Since I find this stuff difficult, I get really frustrated.

I used to keep all my emotions in check, so much so, I thought and said I did not have any feelings or reactions to anything. That changed and I could not deny the existence of my emotions. It was a terrifying time. What was happening to me? I was falling apart and all this unidentifiable stuff was pouring out.

I have had to learn so much since I began seeing the Psychiatrist I saw back then (1993 - 95). From learning I had to put words to the experiences, name, own, accept them. Still uncomfortable. I beat up on myself too much, I know.

I used to do things I can no longer do to my own satisfaction. I still sing, but not like I used to. I cannot paint like I did. I cannot use pen and paper to write, so have managed to adapt to keyboard. That is something. I have been working on being more sociable, less isolated, but last year, when COVID-19 retrictions required face masks be worn, I found I could not - which is what brings me here.

I have had to curtail so much of what I had been doing. I am feeling the isolation now. How ironic! I resisted even thinking I needed anybody, then I try to have some friends, join a writers' group, get help with things like housework and shopping, going to places for fun and entertainment, only to have to withdraw again because I cannot wear a mask. It bites, like a scorpion.

I will make a thread, now I found the place to click to create one! I think my problem was with how I have my desktop appearance. It looks like any ordinary link, hiding below another, for creating a feed link. Now I know.

I suppose I will get around to talking more about myself. I will need to be careful about how involved I become, so please, don't expect me to pop up everywhere. I would burn out if I did that.

(Purring) mmMekitty

534 Replies 534

Positive_vibes89
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello and welcome! We never forget our beloved pets, their memories stay with us forever. Our animals are like our children. I have two cats myself, they drive me crazy sometimes but I love them. What would you like to specifically talk about? I am all ears (screen).

Tee

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear mmMekitty~

I would like to join Tee in giving you a warm welcome here. We are warm and gentle people, and have each undergone hardship which lends patience and understanding to others - and fosters a desire to help others.

I'm glad your cat came back, it would have been an almost unbearable worry. Do you plan on gettng another anytime? I believe they make a dwelling into a home. Ours is ruled by Sumo Cat, who regards us as his staff and door-openers.

At present he is miffed because the weather is cold and we will not open the door into summer for him.

Being forced by circumstances into an alien world of technology is a right pain, and there are so many new ideas and methods to grasp. Then learning the skills to use them with facility. Do you have a guru you can ask about technical things?

Navigating this Forum is not particularly easy, but you are mastering it.

I found it interesting you were talking about the things you used to do, sing, paint, write and so on. Would you like to talk about the opposite, the things you enjoy where you listen perhaps. I'm an avid reader and also enjoy music (much of which I have found out about here from other people).

Do you have equivalents?

It may be a while -or perhaps never, that you wish to talk about problems -that's fine, you say whatever you wish and it will be welcome.

As a change of pace can I offer you a link to a thread where people store their happy memories away for a later day (or for the benefit of others). It is interesting what people fondly remember and raises memories of my own

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/store-your-happy-memories-here-

I look forward to talking with you some more

Croix

Croix

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Cruix,

Thank you for responding.

As my sight had deteriated, it was getting harder to look after Mekitty, so, no, I am not planning on having another cat. I almost did, in Dec 2019 when a tiny black kitten found my back door. I could hardly believe it, but she walked in, stepping on my foot, and I held her, and she was hot with life! I knew I could not keep her and had to call a Vet. Later they said the person who came to get her had decided to keep her.

Mekitty had become ill very quickly,. I took her to the local Vet where she died overnight of a heart condition the Vet had not anticipated.

I will use that link and write some memories. Thanks for that.

This place I live at is not good for keeping pets. She had to stay indoors, and I did feel bad about that, but I worried too much about not being able to find her when she did get out.

I am still having trouble finding that tab for creating New Threads. The things I want to talk about really ought to go into another section, dealing with PTSD and Panic, I think.

I still write. I must write, as the most direct way I have for expressing myself. It works for me. Typing is not quite as direct as pen to paper once was. I have learned much about not censoring myself, but I do edit. I feel I have to be mindful of what I write here, how I will have to choose and not use bad language, or be explicit, which, when I feel the impulse to to just get it out I tend to do.

I have lost about half my vocal range and control. Singing had once been as necessary as breathing. I could put on emotion according to the performer's song and what it expressed, rather than acknowledge my own. I still sing, but it is not so enjoyable knowing I have been able to sing so much better before. I used to like the challenge when a song was difficult. Attempting everything from Tracy Chanpman to Cleo Lane. My most beloved singer/songwriter (and painter) is Joni Mitchell. I could never thank her enough for the music she has made. Even before I heard Joni, I had found singing was something I could do that no one could take away, when I heard Melanie (Safka). She was a life line when I was 13.

The tech is mostly My Memory problem. So much needs to be remembered to do things via the keyboard. I want to see stuff I really can't do comfortably. I dislike synthetic voices, but must use them. & getting old, too, I guess.

I have been through a lot, and it is a bit of a mess in my head. I do have to dig around for the good stuff.

😸mmM..

Sophia16
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hey,

That is an adorable kitty in your profile picture. Tell me more about her. It must have been such a relief when your cat came back home after 6 days! I remember my cat was lost for 3 and I couldn't stop crying.

May Mekitty rest in peace 😞

Technology can be so difficult sometimes but it looks like you're navigating the forums very well!

I am glad that expressing yourself through typing has made you feel somewhat better.

I hope you are staying safe. Always here to chat.

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear mmMekitty~

I've just noticed you have managed to make your own thread in the PTSD & Trauma Section, I'll go and read it now

Just shows one surprise oneself sometimes

Croix

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
Hello Positiv_Vibes89 and Sophia16,
Thanks for the welcome.
Sophie16, I suspect the cat of your avatar is also a great Adorable.
When I picked up and cuddled the cat at my door that very early morning (well after bedtime(, and no longer than 20 seconds, had to be let down, only then was I certain it was Mekitty.She had lost her collar, and maybe she was returning earlier, because I had been leaving food out, and that was eaten. Or someone else ate it. I will never know.
There's another Thread, in BB Social section, Topic: PETS - gotta love them. I thought I would send further posts about Mekitty there.
I will be looking out for you.
Positive_Vibes89, if only I could have had two or more cats ... I would have had her brother for one ... 😹
mmMekitty

mmMekitty
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

See ya, Croix.

Would you mind putting the link to Sumo's naming here or 'Pets - gotta love them'

I can't remember where you had written it. I have been around in circles today ..g ot lost I think, or skipped something....This place is worse than playing the video games I used to play. So much time! In a way I don't mind...maybe I should.

& that feels like dΓ©jΓ  vu... or I am really, really tired.

mmMekitty

Hanna3
Community Member

Hello mmMekitty,

Can I introduce myself to you? We seem to share some interests!

I was in a writer's group and did write a bit for Abc radio several years ago. I trained in singing and used to love painting.

I love all sorts of music from classical to rock, jazz and blues.

I play harp and acoustic guitar but not well! I'm having lessons but lockdown is interfering somewhat!

I'm also not young and losing sight in one eye so the loss of depth perception is a real problem, and I collide with people in crowded places which is awkward.

I love cats and yours looks gorgeous. My pick is of my little dog Sam after a happy play at the beach.

Anyway just wanted to say hello and introduce myself and say welcome!

πŸ™‚πŸŽΆπŸ•

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear mmMekitty~

Anything to oblige

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/permalink/qltLoXHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

it was in my conversation with you in the Happy Memories Thread -sing out again if you get stuck, this place is indeed a maze

Croix