Hi everyone, I'm back.

[Guest_4643]

Hi everyone, mb20lover here. I wasn't sure where to post this.

It's been a while since I was on the forums, so I just wanted to make a post saying that I'm back. However, I'll try my best to limit my time, comments, etc on here.

I won't bother tagging anyone, and I'll try to keep this as my only open thread that I have created.

I've missed everyone I've spoken to on here, and I hope to talk to some new people. I have been using my offline supports - my Psychiatrist, GP, Parent support of course, and a Social Worker. I'm in the process of finding a Psychologist but I'm having no luck.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and say hello, and also I hope I haven't upset anyone on the forums or anything like that because nothing was intentional, so I deeply apologise.

An update on me, I recently turned 21, can't do much with COVID though, it's a hard year for everyone unfortunately.

I also have a milestone, an achievement, I've been seeing my Psychiatrist for a year which is the longest I've stayed with a therapist. And I also finally have a GP I feel comfortable with. I'm on different meds that seem to be working a little but I still of course have my moments, but these meds I've been on the longest for out of any of the ones I've tried.

Other than that, please don't feel pressured to comment anyone, although it would be nice to connect with some people, old or new, but like I said that's okay. I just wanted to check in.

If you've read this and made it this far, thank you. Stay safe and take care everyone, as much as possible with the unfortunate COVID circumstances.

Thinking of all the Beyond Blue Mods & Users. I've missed everyone.

- mb20lover.

[HamSolo01]

Hey Tay

I hear ya mate. I really do.

I have had a hard realisation over the weekend about friends. My circle has gotten smaller and smaller. But I suppose it was on its way with some


Quality is so much more important than quantity. We get by over time and we meet new people.

You strike me as being quite mature so that's a plus.

Its a hard time growing up i think these days.

Just wanted to share that with you Tay as a sign I see where you're coming from.

[Guest_4643]

Hey HamSolo01, nice to hear from you. Thank you for the kind words. Yes you're right, quality is better. Better than having like 3 or so friends than many fake ones. I prefer coming on these forums anyway. I only go on Facebook to talk to my friends in America & one in NSW, & to check some pages/groups. Other than that I don't really care. It's the only social media I have.

Not sure if I should tell my Psychiatrist about the receptionist being rude to me from the Telehealth company. I think I should but don't want to cause drama. I have a right to speak up and choose who I do and don't want to see though, am I correct?

[Chris D]

Hey Tayla,
I would tell your psychiatrist about the rude receptionist from the telehealth company. This is part of going to a psychiatrist being able to tell them what is going on & bothering you.
You are correct in telling him & you have every right to be able to tell him don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Your opinion/voice matters and deserve to be heard. You need to be able to speak your mind just like here on BB.
Whatever happens I will support you as best I can.

Take care

Chris

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla good luck with your appointment tomorrow.Tell him what you feel comfortable with and you are just as important as any other patient
Take care,
Mark.

[Guest_4643]

Thanks Chris and Mark, you're both right. I'll keep you updated after the session tomorrow. Then I see the new GP on the 21st (well a different one there), I can't see mine until Feb. Hopefully that goes well too. He's one of the directors and takes over so sees my GPs patients if mine is away or something. Some people think he's the best in Australia, hmm. All GPs seem nice at that clinic though.

[Guest_4643]

Hi all. Saw my Psychiatrist today. Session was ok and bad at the same time. I don't know anymore.

I was also upset by a comment from someone on another forum, which I considered to be discrimination and bullying. All I asked was if if they were ok and if I did something wrong cause I was being ignored on there, and I wanted to check in with them. I reported it. Mods on that forum never seem to care about me, and the users never seem to either.

I've been bullied my whole life in person and online so it's difficult and I get SI thoughts (I'm safe), including from that person on another forum. Sigh.

I try to follow rules, be polite to everyone and so forth and I get treated like crap regardless. I give up with everything. Nothing I do is ever right to anyone.

[Guest_4643]

I'm in a dark place right now 😞

[Ggrand]

Dear Tayla...

I’m sorry that you are in a dark place right now..

These forums are the best forums for mental health..and it’s the only forum I am on...Yes I did try another one, for about a week...a couple of years ago... but here I feel safe and...well like a second home and amongst friends and people that care and support each other the best we can..

I am sorry you felt ignored on that forum....

I do have to disagree with you about nothing you do is right..You give beautiful support on these forums to other people who are also struggling like yourself..and to me that’s Gold...So please lovely Tayla...don’t be so hard on yourself..Depression lies to us and it’s lying to you now...You are supportive and valued here...please believe me..

I have an appointment with my VS counselling on Thursday..and like all of them, they are okay and bad at the same time..bringing up hidden trauma in my mind and being triggered by them,,,is a way of healing...Learning new ways to manage them from our counsellors/psychologist is what these appointments should also cover..Does you psychologist give you different ideas on how to manage your trauma?..if not maybe if you felt up to it you could ask them....

Talk here if you feel up to it it..about whatever you feel to talk about..I’ll be around for about another hour then I am off to sleep...

Love and hugs dear Tayla..

Grandy..

[Sophie_M]

Hi Tayla,

We're sorry to hear that you're in a dark place, but thank you for letting us know that you're safe. We really appreciate this on the forums. Please remember that you're not alone and that this community cares for you.

It might be worth trying to distract yourself tonight by doing some of the things you enjoy, like listening to music or watching a movie.

If you need to talk to someone tonight, we'd recommend Kids Help Line.

Please feel free to share more here about what's on your mind at the moment that's leaving you in a dark place, or more about your psychiatrist session went today if you would like to.

[quirkywords]

Tayla

thinking of you. You are a kind soul who is sensitive and wants to help. Many people here care about you and are concerned. Grandy and Sophie have written helpful responses,

sending kind thoughts

quirky