Toxic Positivity & Depression

[Summerinvincible]

I’m so fed up with toxic positivity that seems to be popular lately.

the very idea that if you change your thoughts to positive ones, that gives you the power to change external events in your life.

and also, it’s your fault if bad things happen to you. Because you thought negative things and made it happen.

I understand that it can help improve your mindset if you focus on things that are going right. I get that, and that’s fine, but this is different.

i.e. I broke my foot 8 weeks ago and was told it would take 6-8 weeks to get back to normal. The bone has healed just fine but my foot and toes are still swollen and I can’t walk on it without a moon boot. As you can imagine,I am worried and depressed.

No amount of positive thinking can change this. It’s frustrating when people tell me it can! We don’t have magic powers 🤣

[sbella02]

Hi Summerinvincible,

Thank you for your post. I completely agree, I've seen a widespread surge in this mindset particularly on the Internet.

In my experience, this type of thinking (manifesting positivity, and replacing negative thoughts with positive ones) only works for specific states of mind, and is used prominently in therapies such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). Sure, it can drastically improve your overall mindset if you look on the bright side, especially if you have a tendency to self-criticise or think pessimistically. However, mental illnesses with biological roots (like clinical depression) are not something that can pass with "positive thinking", as they require a deeper and more targeted solution, such as a prescribed medication.

This post hits close to home, because I remember people telling me to just "cheer up" or "be happy" when I was going through some mental struggles several years ago, and it frustrated me so much that I wasn't being understood.

So yes, you're absolutely right. There's a time and a place for positive thinking, and awareness for alternative means of treatment needs to be more widespread.

Thank you for taking the time to raise this issue, we appreciate your contribution!

Kind regards, SB

[jtjt_4862]

Hi Summerinvincible,

Thank you for raising this intersting topic. I agree with you as well that excessive positivity is not the way. Like many things in life, too much of something can have negative effects on us. Using it in moderation and at the appropriate time, would be the more appropriate. Sometimes bad things happen, and we have to learn to accept that these do happen in our life. But I believe, everything happens for a reason, whether good or bad. We learn to appreciate and enjoy the good days, while reflecting on the bad days to understand what life is teaching us, so we may better ourselves for the future.

Rather than excessive positivity, I feel what's more useful would be encouragement and understanding. Encouragement gives us strength to keep moving forward (both thru the good and the bad days), and understanding to validate our feelings and the events that had happened to us.

Jt

[jaz28]

Hi there,

What this is called is the "Law of Attraction" and I am a firm believer in it. However, I believe negative thoughts are only human and as long as you recognise that they are merely a state of mind - they won't impact you. They only impact you if you let them. Mindfulness works.

But sometimes you need to feel sorry for yourself and that's okay. You wouldn't be human if you were positive 100% of the time!

Jaz.

[Isabella_]

A very important topic.

I think a lot of the time positivity can come across very inauthentic despite the good intentions. Reality is we aren't taught how to self regulate our thoughts and feelings.. there isn't a class for it in school, it's just something we're expected to "get on with".

I think no doubt there is a genuine benefit to it for people which is why it's become popular, also when you look at things like CBT. But I agree with you, trying to think about something else and thinking that will change your life circumstances is like slapping a bandaid on a broken leg haha. The idea is more complex than that though.

I hear people on social media talk about manifestation and it makes me cringe sometimes. But I also agree that good people are rewarded for doing good things.

[Summerinvincible]

Yep, the whole “manifestation” thing has no basis in fact.

Just because someone believed something would happen, and it did, doesn’t mean that’s the reason it happened. What about the millions of people who also 100% believed the same thing and got jack?

If you want to believe in the law of attraction etc that’s up to you, but don’t tell me I can cure myself of incurable diseases with my thoughts.

[jaz28]

100%. You are entitled to that belief.

You cannot cure yourself with positive thoughts. If everyone can do that - we would have 0 problems in the world and no mental illness. It's okay to be negative, it's impossible to be happy every waking minute. Depression is a mental illness - and chronic. You can't manifest it away. I have a chronic physical illness and anxiety. I cannot manifest that away. But it's taught me a lot in appreciating my life - and