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Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

Chris_B Are you looking to support someone else with depression? PLEASE READ before posting
  • replies: 1

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and f... View more

This forum is for people seeking support for their own mental health issues. If you're posting on behalf of someone else with a mental health issue that you're concerned about, please have a look at this section of our forums: Supporting family and friends with a mental health condition It's full of threads from people who have family members and friends going through anxiety, depression or other related conditions. Have a read through the threads there, and feel free to take part in the discussions. Below are also some helpful beyondblue resources you might want to look through first as well: Supporting someone Have the conversation

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Kirsty7679 Losing love.
  • replies: 5

Hi all! Not sure where else to turn and my fingers lead me here. I am new to this but having been sitting with this for quite a while now. I am married to a wonderful man and we will be celebrating our 20 year anniversary next month, however, ever si... View more

Hi all! Not sure where else to turn and my fingers lead me here. I am new to this but having been sitting with this for quite a while now. I am married to a wonderful man and we will be celebrating our 20 year anniversary next month, however, ever since Covid has been around, we are drifting apart drastically. I am fully vaccinated and he is happy with my choice but he has gone down a rabbit hole of YouTube, science reports, anything and everything that he can basically get his hands on to read about. Now, all he talks about is statistics and policies from all over the world. I love him dearly but, conversation about normal day to day life is non-existent these days, and I am now at the stage where I physically have to leave the room when I know he is about to start talking about this stuff. I have voiced my concerns to him and how I am not happy, I don't think he understands what this is doing in my head. He has changed completely and it is affected the way we function. I am struggling with sleep and eating, I have lost the pleasure of my everyday joys and don't want to be around him. I have my low days and don't want to be around him, going to work has helped matters but I am basically running on empty.....

JustFrank Tired of Failing
  • replies: 6

G'day BB, I've just signed up to ask a few Qs and get some pointers. I think I might need to stop working for a while but this is something I can't support financially and even just saying it makes me feel like I'm just trying to be a lazy sod. I kee... View more

G'day BB, I've just signed up to ask a few Qs and get some pointers. I think I might need to stop working for a while but this is something I can't support financially and even just saying it makes me feel like I'm just trying to be a lazy sod. I keep sinking into this abyss where I can't get off the couch and I'm either barely sleeping or sleeping all day. The longest this has lasted would be about 6 weeks. Sometimes it's only a few days but it has commonly been for a week or two. I've been aware that I'm dealing with depression and anxiety for the last 5 or 6 years and I'm a tough nut to crack because I'm not very good at talking about my situation, I'm not very self aware and I find it difficult to articulate my experience. Anyway, I have tried a few different meds, I've had heaps of counselling sessions and have tried my best to form healthy mindful habits. I know exactly why I'm down. So I guess I'm lucky like that but I don't really want to get better, I just want to get better at managing this new life. A family issue exploded into my life while I was studying chemistry. I was a High Distinction student with only 2 units left. I couldn't concentrate and failed on each of 5 attempts to finish my last 2 classes. So I got back to work, and I've had 6 very good jobs over the last 5 years. Concreting, metal fabrication, teaching assistant, tuberculosis research, pharmaceutical quality control and an operator in a rendering plant. But this abyss keeps calling and every time I lose a job I lose a new group of friends and a little more of my self esteem. Job hunting is difficult for everyone right now, I understand but it's a long hard process that really doesn't make one who has just lost 6 good jobs feel very good about one's self. And to be perfectly honest I am tired of failing. But I have no idea how to approach the topic of accessing centerlink without sounding like I'm trying to be a bludger. I don't even know how to get started. See a doc? Ask them to refer me to?? Can they just take my bloods and assess whether I'm depressed enough to take a break from working? I don't know what to do.

Anusari1 Overcoming established procrastination habits with long term depression (trd)
  • replies: 5

Hi all, I'm really hoping some of you might be able to give me some advice on this topic that I'm sure we can all relate to. I haven't tried outsourcing like this before but I've decided to do it because I'm so desperate to get better. The pattern I'... View more

Hi all, I'm really hoping some of you might be able to give me some advice on this topic that I'm sure we can all relate to. I haven't tried outsourcing like this before but I've decided to do it because I'm so desperate to get better. The pattern I've been stuck in for the past 4 years is inconsistently breaking/not breaking through the time barrier that initiates consecutive advancements. For me it's the 2-3 week mark (mostly 3). It's different for everyone but I'm wondering how do you persevere with the anti-procrastination tools/behaviours long enough to start feeling better. I should clarify its more avoidance behaviours here, my 3 are daydreaming, reading, and history documentaries, all of which are done on the sofa. Over the years we've worked out the magic number for daily action items seems to be 3. If they are small enough (i.e load of washing, having a meal or showering) and at least 1 of them involves me leaving the house for 15mins, than motivation isn't a problem & they are manageable. The problem is getting past the 2 week mark which is when they begin to feel beneficial or at least no longer uncomfortable. I know from countless times in the past that once I approach roughly the 3 week mark of doing the 3 action items of min 5 days a week, then the accumulative effect starts. I'm then able to gradually increase the amount, as the positive effects build on from one another. I guess what I'm asking for is ways to persevere with the 1st 2 weeks where you have to fake it til you make it. I seem mostly to do it for a a week before giving into temptation. We've tried dropping back to 2, then 1, action item after the 1st week but it doesn't seem to make a difference, I find for some reason it takes the same amount of perseverance/effort to maintain three 3 items as 1. In the 1st 2 weeks it feels like the urge to engage in my avoidance behaviours is 10x stronger than my foresight into the long term benefits, even though the long term is only 3 weeks. This makes me wonder if its like an addiction.. not sure if that's true or not but it definitely feels like the hold it has is stronger than my cognitive capabilities. I'd like to know if anyone has advice on perseverance while depressed, doesn't have to be regarding procrastination. I don't think medication changes will do anything as it really seems like a behavioural pattern that's so entrenched I'm unable to outgrow it. Would greatly appreciate any tips or experiences...

Mrs Bones Lost and overwhelmed
  • replies: 6

Hi all, I don’t really know how to start this. Sorry if it gets a bit messy. 4 1/2 years ago, my still husband did a terrible thing (long story). I stayed, which is something I vowed I would never do. My problem is I can’t get over it. I’m always que... View more

Hi all, I don’t really know how to start this. Sorry if it gets a bit messy. 4 1/2 years ago, my still husband did a terrible thing (long story). I stayed, which is something I vowed I would never do. My problem is I can’t get over it. I’m always questioning: why wasn’t I good enough, why was I so stupid, why why why. We have seen psychologists and counsellors (everything gets put down to him having severe depression at the time). I don’t understand it though. I’ve suffered with depression most of my adult life, in varying degrees of severity, but I would never have hurt him like this. He doesn’t have the answers I do desperately need and I just don’t know what to do. I have 3 beautiful adult daughters, and 4 amazing grandchildren, my job is good, with great people, and I have a mostly supportive family network. BUT it doesn’t help. Some days I don’t want to come home, I don’t want to go to work, I don’t know what I want. I’m sorry for the longwinded , raving post, I just needed to get it out.

FrancescaS Bariatric surgery and depression
  • replies: 11

In May this year I had bariatric surgery as I was morbidly obese (sleeve gastrectomy), and since this time my depression has worsened and I'm currently in the midst of a major depressive episode. I'm wondering if there are any other BB forum particip... View more

In May this year I had bariatric surgery as I was morbidly obese (sleeve gastrectomy), and since this time my depression has worsened and I'm currently in the midst of a major depressive episode. I'm wondering if there are any other BB forum participants who have similarly had bariatric surgery and also find themselves in a similar situation? I’ve been doing a lot of reading about depression following sleeve gastrectomy surgery, in the hopes that I will discern why it has happened to me. Most scientific/academic articles say that depression and other psychological conditions are more prevalent in bariatric surgery patients than they are in the general population. This is ascribed to the physical and psychological impact that obesity has on patients’ lives. The articles claim that bariatric surgery has a positive affect on patients’ lives given the health benefits of surgery and the boost to self-esteem that comes with being thinner. However, some studies have shown that a small number of bariatric patients have a psychological downturn following surgery, and one study has found that the likelihood of attempted suicide is 4-5 times higher in bariatric patients than it is in the general population. These articles make the case that this psychological downturn is the result of patients not being able to eat as much as they are used to, and/or patients turning to alcohol and substance abuse to manage their emotions following surgery, and/or patients having unrealistic expectations of the benefits of bariatric surgery. What seems to be absent though, to my mind, is analysis of the physical impact of bariatric surgery on brain chemistry. Now, I am not a chemist, am not a scientist, so I cannot wait until further research is conducted into this issue. My pressing need is to dig myself out of the hole that I’m in. Or grab a ladder and start climbing. Is there anyone else here in a similar situation? FrancescaS

Melancholy Yogini Is Medication the Answer?
  • replies: 11

Today is an awful day; I don't feel good. I feel sad, alone, lost and that no one understands me. The rational part of my brain knows that is not true, but that doesn't take away my feelings. So today, like so many, I am going through the motions and... View more

Today is an awful day; I don't feel good. I feel sad, alone, lost and that no one understands me. The rational part of my brain knows that is not true, but that doesn't take away my feelings. So today, like so many, I am going through the motions and just functioning. I have been strong enough to get out of bed, make myself presentable, put on my metaphorical mask and arrived at work. I have been surfing my depression/anxiety wave for most of my adult life; I am 48, and I have always refused medication. Pre-Covid, I really thought I was finally getting it together. At age 38, I made many lifestyle changes and began my journey as a yoga and pilates teacher. In August 2019, I was making inquiries and buying equipment to open my own studio. Thankfully I had not resigned from my day job, which I have maintained throughout the pandemic, but not only was the dream of opening a studio squashed, I stopped teaching. Initially, I did this to help my fellow yogi's where teaching was their only source of income, and I still had my day job, but then time just went by, and now we are nearly 2-yrs on and I feel that the dream I had is no longer. I know a couple of small studio owners that needed to close their businesses and I don't ever want to be one of them. This, I believe, is the main reason I now feel so lost and sad; I don't know where to go from here. I have all of the training and tools and use everything I know and more, but nothing seems to work anymore. I have spoken to my doctor, and I will ring him again today, but before I do I wanted advice and thoughts on medication; the for and against. The other thing I need to be mindful of is my age, I am at that point where I am peri-menopausal, so it is hard to distinguish if my feelings are due to hormones or my 30 plus years of depression, or is it all mixed up together. Thank you for your thoughts x

Guest_4593 Numb or feeling everything
  • replies: 3

I feel so drained, so over everything. I woke this morning feeling nothing and i was ok. Now everything is just flooding my mind. Why cant my mind just stay numb its easier. People get concerned when i say i don't feel anything im numb and empty .GET... View more

I feel so drained, so over everything. I woke this morning feeling nothing and i was ok. Now everything is just flooding my mind. Why cant my mind just stay numb its easier. People get concerned when i say i don't feel anything im numb and empty .GET HELP.. i would rather find help to stay numb its easier

waluiginose how do i get self esteem
  • replies: 3

hello, i am a little bit confused because i hate myself. i think i am scum and that the community i live in would've been a better place if i had not have been born. and not to get all edgy or anything, but i do sometimes ideate suicide (like, i thin... View more

hello, i am a little bit confused because i hate myself. i think i am scum and that the community i live in would've been a better place if i had not have been born. and not to get all edgy or anything, but i do sometimes ideate suicide (like, i think about it but i'm completely safe, dw) and think i'm better off dead because i'm stupid and embarrassing and useless and whatever. but i had a good childhood? granted i can't remember much of it, but the memories i have of it are all positive. why would i hate myself? is it just cause i've let the self critical voice living in my head take over? how do i stop it? i just want to be able to think of myself as someone worthy of breathing. should i just get therapy? lol thanks

Daisy245 He took he's proposal back 😭
  • replies: 2

Please don't judge I've gotten into contact with an ex for closure. it's been 14 years since I've seen him and 8 since I don't live in the same country. Living different lives I've got kids ,he does not. he's single, I'm not. My marriage has been fai... View more

Please don't judge I've gotten into contact with an ex for closure. it's been 14 years since I've seen him and 8 since I don't live in the same country. Living different lives I've got kids ,he does not. he's single, I'm not. My marriage has been failing for years were basically in it for the kids but not having any family here is probably the only reason why we're still married besides the kids of cause. last year I got in contact with ex,he was and probably still is the love of my life. I needed closure,all these years I've been hurting ,I've missed him ,I've hated him.i just needed to know what happened. Honestly things were going great. We cleared some things ,asked and gave forgiveness. fast forward 8 months , we're still speaking it's was so nice having him as my friend. And things got serious, telling me he can't be without me,he loves me,wants me have a child together. I was shocked Ive wanted all these things my whole life and here he's telling me that it can happen. I asked if he's sure this is what he wants,yes. Do you want children,yes definitely. I have children ,you can't have me without them you have to be okay with that, yes I know Im 200% sure of this. so of cause my heart is racing ,I get to be with the man Ive always loved and he's okay with my children. My mind was racing, I'm over the moon, I get to be happy again with someone I never stopped loving. Sometime goes by and he's acting weird and he tells me this is not going to work. I'm shocked ,what do you mean.what changed ?? He had time to think and felt that he couldn't "wait" for me to come home (mind you I go home in 3 months). Says it's not the kids ,that this isn't good for us. And that was he's last words.he blocked me. Just like that. Blocked me. Left me . Didn't have any decency to have a proper conversation with me. Just like that,this isn't good for us. I'm beyond heartbroken. I believed him and once again he's hurt me. I've only ever felt this pain once before and it was by him and I've been through a lot , but this pain is so bad that my depression has gotten so much worse. It took me years to be okay from that first heartbreak, I was a complete mess, i did things that I should be ashame of but I won't because it got me through the tough times and I had to go through that all in my own. But now I'm older,I should be wiser,I have children that needs me, and I have no idea how I'm going to get through this. I have not stopped crying. I just want the pain to go away

Oizys I can barely keep my head above water.
  • replies: 8

In the next fortnight, I have a lot of big responsibilities I have to undertake. I have to socialise in a professional capacity for the first time in 8 years. Im not suicidal, that is not something I would ever consider. I just want to go to bed and ... View more

In the next fortnight, I have a lot of big responsibilities I have to undertake. I have to socialise in a professional capacity for the first time in 8 years. Im not suicidal, that is not something I would ever consider. I just want to go to bed and stay there is all. I've lost an important person in my life, they are still living but will never be the same due to what they are going through at the moment. I'm very much grieving them. It's like they have died and been replaced. My relationship feels like it's in its death throws. I feel like a single parent. I have no friends I can really talk to about the big things. The only people I have are family members. My life at the moment is making sure my kids have all their needs met, and then just pulling myself through the rest of the day to do it all over again. I just needed to vent. I feel overwhelmed. I will make it through it like all the times before but it doesn't make it any easier.