Pregnant and alone

[Catlola]

Hi, I’m cat I’m 38 and going through an unplanned pregnancy. The father doesn’t want to know and has blocked me on all sites, I’ve had to move in with my dad because he thinks I need extra support. I’m 4 months pregnant and terrified. My bipolar depression has increased and is out of control. I am sick all the time and have no friends to talk to or to relate to as they have all had kids for 10 years and married. I feel so disconnected from everything. All I look forward to is going to sleep, even my psych thought it was a bad idea to stay pregnant but I thought I always wanted to be a mum but it’s so physically exhausting and isolating. Are there any single mums out there who have gone through similar troubles maybe if you had mental illness before also? I don’t feel like I can keep doing this much longer. Thank you

[Sophie_M]

Hi Catlola,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for sharing your story with us here.

We are sorry to hear that things have been so hard on you recently and that you are having to go through a pregnancy without much support. We can only imagine how difficult and scary this time must be for you. Please know that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.

If you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

We also strongly urge that in overwhelming moments you get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.

[quirkywords]

Catlola

welcome to the forum. Congratulations on being pregnant. I am sorry you the father has blocked you, but pleased your dad is supporting you.

When I was pregnant with my baby, who is about your age now, I had bipolar but it was denial. I had a reluctant partner and family who waited for me to fall apart.

I loved my baby so much and found the hardest thing was others judging me.

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Cat...

A very kind and warm welcome to our forums..

Im deeply sorry that the father of your unborn baby has blocked you and your unable to contact him...He doesn’t seem to be a very nice person by the way he has abandoned you and your baby...

I could only imagine how scared and alone you feel, Your father must love you and his unborn grandchild so much to offer you to live with him and be their to help support you...I am so pleased to hear that you are living with him....

I remember when I was pregnant how physically tired I got...but once I held my gorgeous baby in my arms for the first time....All that just seemed to disappear...

Cat, lean on your father if you need to, he is their for you..

Talk here anytime you feel up to it....We are also here for you lovely lady...to help support you...or just talk to you if you feel lonely..

Sending you my kindest thoughts with care dear Cat..

Grandy..

[Learn to Fly]

Hi Catlola,

A very warm welcome to this forum. I am very sorry to hear you have been abounded by the father.
You reached out to the right place as everyone here is always supportive if not with and advice then at least with a kind word.
It’s really good to hear you can count on your dad now. Especially beginnings of pregnancy can be physically and emotionally draining. It settles down more or less later on, though this varies. A Pretty individual thing.
It’s also good to hear that you are in touch with your psychologist.

How would you feel about joining a support group somewhere nearby to your place? Either your psychologist or GP should be able to give you some options. Sometimes talking to others or just listening to other people stories who are in a similar or same situation as yourself might be helpful.
Please keep talking to us whenever you feel like you have had enough. We are here to listen and chat. Always for you.

[Petal22]

Hi Catlola,

Wellcome to our forums!

Congratulations on your pregnancy I’m sorry to hear that the father of your baby has blocked you.

I’m sorry that your bipolar depression has increased, do you have a perinatal clinic in your area that could monitor you before and after your pregnancy……. They could keep an eye on your medication ect some clinics have clinical psychologist and psychiatrist that run out of the same practice.

If you are unsure maybe you could ask your gp?

I think it would be a great idea now to start seeing a perinatal clinic or a regular gp so they can monitor your well being.

After my pregnancy my OCD increased I actually didn’t know I had this condition until after pregnancy because this is when it flared up…….

Yes it was difficult having this condition and being a new mum but I managed………… I was lucky to have a supportive family so if your Dad is willing to help you then please allow him to because we really need the support.

Being a new mum is exhausting but our babies grow so quick and they will be self sufficient before you know it.

I highly recommend you also join a mother’s group or play group you can meet other new mums and it helps to talk together because you are all in the same bout.

Think positive and embrace your Dad 😊

We are here to support you

[Crofts_Girl]

Hi Cat,

Firstly, I want to congratulate you on your little bundle of joy.

I saw your post and felt I could relate to you.

I'm 6 months pregnant, and have been dealing with anxiety and some depression. I've been going through both of these things since March this year - my anxiety got to a point I had a severe anxiety attack, then my depression (diagnosed at 12 and at 31, still dealing with it). Finding out I was pregnant with my son, I didn't think would ever happen given all the stress I was going through during that period this year.

Up until recently, I have started feeling both those things again, and when I start going through them, my son feels it too, and he is moving around so much, thinking to myself "please little man, I am sorry for stressing you, please settle down"

My husband is a PM shift worker, and he also works on weekends. I get 1/7 days with him, and he has been talking to me about taking a second job to help support our sons upbringing. As much as I appreciate him thinking that way, wanting nothing but good things for him as well, but is that second job really worth taking and giving up time with your unborn son, who could end up growing up not knowing his own father.

With my husband doing this, I am feeling so, so lonely, unhappy and depressed.

I have family I want to talk to, but their opinion of my husband, is they seeing me unhappy because of his actions. And I don't want to burden my mates with my problems all the time.

(crying) I don't know what to do, I am feeling so lonely and depressed.

[Learn to Fly]

Hi Crofts Girl,

You have come to the right place. Being and feeling as vulnerable as yourself and Catlola, both of you Ladies need a place and someone to talk to. To feel no pressure, no judgement but lots of warmth and best wishes. Everyone here is always very understanding and supportive so it’s really good to see you both reaching out here.

I asked Catlola and now I’d like to ask you: how would you feel about joining a support group? A GP is a good start as they usually should be able to either refer you or point you to in the right direction. We are always here for you to talk to but sometimes you might want to prefer to chat to someone over a cuppa. This might also help when you feel lonely during the time when your husband works.
No pressure, just a suggestion. I just feel deeply for both of you as being pregnant on itself can be so challenging and having some other issues on top of that, well, that can be overwhelming at times.
Ladies take a great care of yourself. Thinking of you.