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BeyondBlue Hello! Read this if you're not sure how to get started
  • replies: 0

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for ... View more

Welcome This section of the Beyond Blue Forums is for talking about our experiences with depression. There are lots of chats about how it makes us feel, what it’s like to live with depression and what has worked to help in these times. Thank you for coming this far, we know it can be really hard to take these steps if depression is in your life - we see you and think this is a great step. To get the most out of this space we have a few tips: Get involved. The Forums work best for you when you get active and post where you can. Now, we know that can be really hard, especially when you are experiencing depression. So, if you can post something supportive to someone else here, that would be an incredible start. Speak from the heart. This community wants to know how YOU feel and what has worked for YOU. We trust that you have something unique to say and we can’t wait to hear it. Check in. Lots of the discussions in this section of the Forums have been going for years and they are some of the richest conversations we have. Keep checking in to get new ideas and offer your support. We know it can be tough to start, but when you are ready we want to hear your thoughts. If you need some time to get to know the community, that's okay! Have a look around and see where you want to get involved. Thank you for being here! Beyond Blue

Jeriava How do I talk to my doctor?
  • replies: 9

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really ... View more

I’ve been struggling with my life for the past 7-8 years but I finally made an appointment with a doctor. I feel really scared though because I don’t ever go to the doctor for anything, and I havent seen this doctor for so many years that I’m really scared that they’ll judge me or won’t believe anything I say. I’m really anti social so I feel like I won’t be able to say what I wanna say or I’ll say the wrong thing causing them to just dismiss me and move me along without helping. I’m just tired of feeling alone, depressed and just worthless but I’m really scared to talk to them.

AGrace SELF HELP TIPS FOR MANAGING DEPRESSION
  • replies: 132

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the ... View more

Hi Everyone, Here are some ideas you might like to try for managing symptoms of depression. Of course everyone's different, so let us know what works for you, and please feel free to add to the list... Mindfulness – through breathing or engaging the 5 senses Distress Tolerance – Accepting Emotions and Self Soothing Distraction – Put the thoughts/feelings aside and come back to them when you are ready to deal with them Positive Affirmations – Have some affirmations written down repeat them to yourself daily Sleep/Exercise/Diet – All 3 aspects of our lifestyle can impact the way we think/feel Increasing Pleasurable Activities – Engage in at least one pleasurable activity per day

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Guest_1584 ls it healthier to work and live while having depression , or is there a centerlink disability pension, and if so , which is healthier ?
  • replies: 103

Hey people . l've met people on all kinds of Centerlink disability things over the yrs but can you get onto something due to depression ? But then as in the title , maybe it's actually healthier for you to actually be out there in life and working an... View more

Hey people . l've met people on all kinds of Centerlink disability things over the yrs but can you get onto something due to depression ? But then as in the title , maybe it's actually healthier for you to actually be out there in life and working and functioning ? - bloody hate that word but it's the only description l could think of . So what does everyone do , and which do they find is better ? At one stage through a really bad patch l just didn't feel l could work or cope. So l asked Centerlink they told me l'd have to see the gp , get referrals ,go and get assessments and all kinds of other things can't remember exact details , but it was a nightmare l'd worry that l'd spend wks or mths putting myself through and then maybe get nothing anyway. But ok l'll just start with the gp and see where that goes first. And they told me it could get me 3mths , what, 3mths, but then l'd have to do it all again to get an extension or another 3mths and then again , and again , or some rubbish can't remember the exact details but it sounded far worse than the alternative and just struggling on to me. Well, what a useless stressing , draining effort that was , here's a grown man in the mess l was in felt like l just couldn't even go on let alone cope or do real life , work , pressures buttt, saw a gp yet all he said was l'll give you a certificate for 2 days off . Two days, wt - to keep it polite here, 2 days l needed 2 wks just from the stress of dealing with him that once , without adding in my real problems. He wouldn't even give me a referral for the next step. Acted like there was nothin wrong with me meanwhile l'm wondering if l wanted to go on l mean that's the state l was in. Centerlink also wanted me to enroll with a job agency and so here l was having to tell some 19yr old girl with a button and computer and the power to send me packing with no damn clue how l was or living , threatening to stop any payment if l didn't jump through their hoops too in the meantime, it was insanity .And all that took about 2 wks of stress driving sitting round waiting and explaining myself over and over and what little money l had at the time on petrol , it was a nightmare and left me in worse shape than l started. rx

white knight 10 Keys to the door out of depression
  • replies: 2

Hi all, As some know I've got bipolar2, depression and dysthymia a low mood constant depression. My wife also has depression. So with all this depressive mood with the ups and downs of bipolar going on I thought I'd list the most important steps you ... View more

Hi all, As some know I've got bipolar2, depression and dysthymia a low mood constant depression. My wife also has depression. So with all this depressive mood with the ups and downs of bipolar going on I thought I'd list the most important steps you can take to minimalise your symptoms and get your life back. Attitude. It's even before treatment imo. We've all met them, friends or family members that are in denial. No one can help a person in denial- fact!. With the right attitude - you can move mountains! However if your positive attitude isnt a realistic one that you are fooling yourself and that is a hinderance not an asset. Sure, have goals but the best goal post is a movable one whereby your unpredictable arrival of your symptoms can be catered for. It is no good projecting a difficult to achieve goal then feel disappointed you failed to reach it because you had a panic attack or you needed an afternoon nap. Be realistically positive, not unrealistically motivated. Be measured with your own expectations and dont live your life and balance your goals on other peoples expectations. Diagnosis. Correct diagnosis is crucial. A second opinion is wise. I went 6 years taking medication (tried 12 types) before I got a second opinion. Turned out I didnt have ADHD after all (no wonder the meds didnt work). Treatment. You'll get opinions for treatment from friends and family, trouble is, they usually dont have qualifications of a psychiatrist plus the many years of practical GP experience. A friend might say "my friend took ... herb or similar unconventional treatment. Beware and follow your GP's directions. Treatment/meds often take long term to be effective. Lifestyle changes. A few decades ago we moved from the city to the country. This might not suit you but do consider it. Protection. Protect yourself from toxic influences. Better to have only quality empathetic people in your life. Keep busy and be distracted. Hobbies/sports are essential to wellness. Beware the "cycle". If you have a depressive cycle going on then better to allow that cycle to run its course before placing expectation on your performance. Pedalling as hard as you can gets you nowhere with a broken chain. Good diet and some exercise. Moderation is better than no exercise at all. A return to basics. Stress can limit you. The fast lane can hinder. Time out by watching a bee collect nectar, a flower bloom can work. Sleep Any ideas? TonyWK

Anonanon Toxic Workplace
  • replies: 7

Hello. My workplace is very toxic. Bullying and abusive leadership style is rife. The HR department consists of one person who doesn't have the skill set or knowledge to be in this position. So nothing is ever followed up. It's very depressing. I've ... View more

Hello. My workplace is very toxic. Bullying and abusive leadership style is rife. The HR department consists of one person who doesn't have the skill set or knowledge to be in this position. So nothing is ever followed up. It's very depressing. I've never come across this type of environment before. I've now resigned and will be working elsewhere. Many reasons for my resignation, think they were annoyed. Found out today that some gossip behind my back, and tell untruths. It gets to me, I know it shouldn't but it does annoy me. Not one person has asked me why I'm leaving, and there will be no exit interview. But it doesn't surprise me as they don't want to change and won't want to hear the truth. I just needed to get this off my chest, as I don't have anyone to vent to. Thanks to all who read

Jaradeem Starting work after a long time
  • replies: 6

Hello all, I've had depression for the last 17 years which has slowly been getting worse and now severely impacts work choices. I have luckily just found a cleaner job after 6 years of unemployment (filled with light volunteering and study) and am qu... View more

Hello all, I've had depression for the last 17 years which has slowly been getting worse and now severely impacts work choices. I have luckily just found a cleaner job after 6 years of unemployment (filled with light volunteering and study) and am quite nervous, though there is also a tiny amount of excitement. Has anyone out there been in a similar situation? How did you cope with the change in routine and the general feeling of anxiety (which I haven't felt in quite a while)? Any info would be appreciated.

Succulent Queen Workplace bullying. What is your experience?
  • replies: 18

Hi BB friends, Just wondering...what is your experience of workplace bullying (or bullying in any environment) and how do you get back up? How do you stay resilient in the face of stigma, derogatory judgement, gossip and rumour? How do you not feel t... View more

Hi BB friends, Just wondering...what is your experience of workplace bullying (or bullying in any environment) and how do you get back up? How do you stay resilient in the face of stigma, derogatory judgement, gossip and rumour? How do you not feel the shame due to believing what they say. I experience a mild/low level of workplace bullying. It is chronic and wears me down. It takes me to damaging depths. I question my personality everyday and reflect on what I can do better. People pleasing is not the answer. I have learnt to really hate myself. I'm not a malicious person and never stir up trouble. I have social anxiety and can come across as unfriendly rather than shy. I think this could be one of the causes of the bullying. I try so hard to counteract this with varying success. It's a great day when it works. Internally I cry, I rage, I disengage, I withdraw, I partially checkout of reality and the inner critic curls my brain into the foetal position. I'll just be honest here and admit I think of suicide. The brain just wants relief, is that so bad? Just to be clear, I have no intention of taking my life. I know I can ring Lifeline etc. I think suicidal curiosity goes hand in hand with being chronically unhappy or to use a term that is thrown around so much it virtually means nothing - Depression. Again, the brain just wants relief. Doesn't mean it's going to get it, via suicide that is. I called Lifeline today after work and it helped. Lifeline can be hit or miss and luckily today was a hit. For the record I'm looking for another job where I can be alone more. The bullying seems to occur in every workplace I enter so I'm the common denominator as they say. How do you stay resilient or content or even happy at work in the face of bullying? Tx SQ

malsatree Bored, lost and alone
  • replies: 6

Hi For years I believed I was depressed. I’m not sure when it started so I’ve always just said it started when my dad killed himself but I’m not sure. I don’t really remember much about my life I feel like my brain has locked a lot of my memories awa... View more

Hi For years I believed I was depressed. I’m not sure when it started so I’ve always just said it started when my dad killed himself but I’m not sure. I don’t really remember much about my life I feel like my brain has locked a lot of my memories away. What I do remember is spending all my time outside of school in my room on my computer away from my family and all my time in school worrying about popularity and ‘coolness’. I was completely numb for what i can remember of my younger life except for little spurts of rage that would bubble over the surface for the stupidest of reasons. A lot of that started to change in my last years at school. I had gotten fed up with myself and my thought patterns and I decided to try and make some changes and it helped. It wasn’t until I had my first girlfriend that I thought I had properly changed. I was feeling so good to finally have someone to share everything with and i thought I had beaten it. and then not even 2 months after we broke up I could barely remember anything about our relationship. Now I’ve spent almost a whole year after graduating doing almost nothing and almost all year that numbness has been creeping back up. A lot of the time I’ll really wanna do something but I’ll end up staring at a wall blankly mouth breathing like an idiot left wondering how much worth his life has because he’s done nothing with it and he’s wasting it away I’m not too sure what the purpose of this post is but it feels good to write stuff I’d recommend it. Have a nice day/night

Justin95 Adult bullying
  • replies: 4

How do you respond to passive aggressive bullying. It happens a lot to me when I’m out and about. Makes me feel depressed.

How do you respond to passive aggressive bullying. It happens a lot to me when I’m out and about. Makes me feel depressed.

Coops93 Feeling lost and alone
  • replies: 2

Hi, I am at a turning point in my life where I feel as though my marriage is on its last legs and I am losing whats left of my sanity. Myself and my wife have slowly grown apart over time I have felt more as a burden than a partner. She is currently ... View more

Hi, I am at a turning point in my life where I feel as though my marriage is on its last legs and I am losing whats left of my sanity. Myself and my wife have slowly grown apart over time I have felt more as a burden than a partner. She is currently pregnant with our 3rd child. The last time we were intimate was when she fell pregnant close to 4 months ago. I have tried to talk to her about things to try and do what I can to make things better between us but nothing has worked. I was foolish and a woman who has been nice to me We had been talking nothing occurred outside of conversation. My wife has gone through my phone and basically wants me gone. I have no family or support around me I have no one to talk to. I feel the only ones that love me are my kids I can barely keep it together while I write this at work. I dont know what to do. Im lost with no help

Beers Feeling lost and worn out - a very blank feeling
  • replies: 4

I’m just feeling lost. Really worn out. Need to get this out of my system, onto the page, not sure why today is the day i type it out, after feeling this way for a long time. Through most of lockdown I just never really stopped to reflect on anything... View more

I’m just feeling lost. Really worn out. Need to get this out of my system, onto the page, not sure why today is the day i type it out, after feeling this way for a long time. Through most of lockdown I just never really stopped to reflect on anything, just put on a brave face and approached everything as some sort of puzzle, like I was expected to just get on with it and make it all work. There were some dark times but I would often just shrug them off, and continue working or doing whatever needed to be done. Now the lockdown is over - but while others are energised and planning exciting adventures like camping, shopping, dining, I’m left with this blank feeling of exhaustion. I actually am surprised by this feeling - i thought i would be amongst the celebrating crowd. Feeling torn between two worlds - I have so much that needs to be done and am running behind on my work, don’t feel like doing anything though - don’t feel like work, don’t feel like play - and only just realised I have wasted several hours in the last few days just staring blankly at the wall and feeling sorry for myself but having no idea why. Have been through much worse than my current situation, in fact the future looks bright and positive, but i just feel so so meh. Anyway just looking for a sign. I know it all sounds a bit vague but I am a private person.

Cro77 What direction to take
  • replies: 11

There is a lot rattling around in my head so i will try and get it all out there. I am on the spectrum too so not a great communicator and socialite at the best of times. Been with my wife for 18 years, married for 16 years. She has 3 daughters from ... View more

There is a lot rattling around in my head so i will try and get it all out there. I am on the spectrum too so not a great communicator and socialite at the best of times. Been with my wife for 18 years, married for 16 years. She has 3 daughters from a previous marriage and we don't have any together. She is now in her early 50's and I am 8 years younger. All the girls are now grown up and left home. We (or maybe more me) seem to have been getting more disconnected/distant as time goes by. There seems to be very little we want to do together now. She spends most of the time we are at home together either on Facebook or watching Netflix/Stan etc. I have said on numerous occasions this is really frustrating but I keep getting laughed off. I am an Operations Manager of a business and work has been really demanding and draining for a number of years but i have started to get very tired and am losing my normal high level of concentration to a point in the last few weeks/months where i have started to feel quite emotional at times. It never lasts long and only happens once every few days but it is a very strange feeling and leaves me fighting back tears. I don't know whether this is work related (i enjoy work), relationship related or a combination. I don't have a lot of friends and have lost interest doing things i used to enjoy such as camping, fishing etc. A couple of weeks ago i spent a night out with a few work colleagues and spent most of the night talking to another woman (never met here before) who has the same interests, is of similar age and made it a very enjoyable night just to talk for hours. This has me second guessing my life to date and where it needs to head. As all couples do, my wife and i argue occasionally and has happened on occasions before she said she is going to leave. Normally I do whatever i can to resolve the situation but after i spent some time processing this (emotions normally take some time for me to process) i am probably content to let this take its own course. In the past i think i have been very concerned about being alone but now i may feel a little differently. Am i out of line by willing to accept this and should i fight for my marriage. Torn about the reasoning for my low feelings. Is it work, relationship or a combination that is getting me down. I just dont know what to do.