Pregnant and Depressed

[Crofts_Girl]

I have so much going through my mind right now.

My husband not being around, and thinking of taking a second job. I only see him 1/7 days a week, it hurts me and it upsets me.

Feeling lonely.

Having negative thoughts after my son being born, of not being a good mother/parent to my son.

I know I speak not a lot of good words about my husband, but he does have good things about him - strength; very out-going; fearless; confident, stands up to others (no matter who they are), and speaks up for not just himself and what he believes in, but also speaks up on behalf of others with a heart of gold. These are qualities I want my son to have and learn from his father, (as well as from other strong figure in his life, like my older sister who has the same qualities as my husband, and my best mate who is stronger than both of them combined) things I can't give him or teach him. Keep asking myself, what can I offer my son, that my husband can't?

It's these thoughts that are making me depressed.

Lol, there was one stage, that I was going to terminate my pregnancy, and truth is I can't remember why!!!!!

I've been through one termination, and I promised my husband I wouldn't put him through that again, and I made that promise to myself, because it was after that, things weren't the same between us after that.

Does this baby deserve a mother/parent like me, compared to my husband who I feel provide him with so much more and teach him so more about life than I can?

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Crofts Girl..

A very warm and caring welcome to the forums..

Im really sorry your feeling lonely...

Your husband sounds like an amazing person, and so do you...

You have so much to offer your son and will be a great mummy...

Unconditional love is something that your son will learn from you, as well as kindness, caring, empathy, compassion that’s just a few things..their is so much that a mummy teaches their child even though it’s a joint effort to nurture and love your beautiful son....Put everything together that you both can bring to raising and nurturing your son...I have no doubt at all that he will grow to be a part of you both...A beautiful loving and caring son,,,

Please lovely Crofts Girl..believe in yourself that you will be one awesome mummy....with so much love to give him...They remain babies and toddlers for a short time...enjoy these times with him, play with him and just enjoy the beautiful blessing you have in your son...

My kindest and most caring thoughts Crofts Girl...

Grandy...

[Leisa68]

Hi Crofts Girl,

I hope you are feeling a little better after posting. Reading your story completely resonates with mine when I had my son. I felt I would be rubbish as a mother, and felt that everyone was way more capable than me. My partner was working long hours also and did not see my pain (nor did I tell him).

I needed a lot of help when he was born from psychologists, baby nurses, and my Psychiatrist. My mother said to me that the baby (my son) will teach me, I hated hearing that, but she was somewhat right. When he wanted something he would cry and for some reason, I seemed to know what he needed. It was good to go places with him, he would always react to everything. My son is now 11 years old and driving me crazy learning the guitar and flute. I got through it and now enjoy (well my ears are not) my son. I feel for you, I remember the spiralling thoughts. I hope that there is someone out there that can help you as I had. You may even surprise yourself.

I did.

Kind thoughts

Leisa68

[Petal22]

Hi Crofts girl,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im really sorry you are feeling this way.

Have you been able to speak to your husband about the way you are feeling?

Have you been able to speak to a health professional about the way you are feeling also and the thoughts that you are having? A good place to start would be your gp…..

Sometimes expectant mother’s can develop Postnatal Depression or Postnatal Anxiety…. This can be developed before or after the birth of their babies.

I developed Post natal anxiety after the birth of my babies…… I also had OCD..

I seeked professional help for these conditions and I’m now recovered.

Im sure you will be a great mum 😊

Please make an appointment with your gp so you can discuss how you are feeling at the moment… they will understand.

You could do a mental health plan with your gp this will enable you to see a psychologist….. maybe you could ask your gp if they are aware of a perinatal clinic that you could be referred to…. A clinical psychologist and psychiatrist sometimes run out of the same practice and understand these conditions.

I strongly encourage you to seek help now so you can get on top of the way you are feeling and move into motherhood with a bit of support from our health professionals under your belt….They really can help so you can live a more happier life within yourself…

Im here to check to you

[geoff]

Hello Crofts Girl, I am really sorry for how you are feeling and very much appreciate all the replies sent back to you.

If I can say, that a mother has another touch and relationship with their children that the father can't provide, even when they tell their kids they love them is totally different than a father telling them, the emotional meaning is so much deeper than a dad can relate to, even though they definitely mean it.

Your husband has many aptitudes which may be different to you, but his ability to show the love to your kids is not like how you do it, because mums express it differently.

Please get back to us so we can continue this.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Positive_vibes89]

Pregnancy can make your hormones and mood go a little silly. How about speaking to your obstitritian about the feelings you are experiencing? Could be part of pregnancy.