I ran into one of my primary school teachers and have mix feelings about it

[Ramblify]

Hi,

I wasn't sure under what to post this thread - it could probably be under many?

I'm in my 40's and ran into one of my primary school teachers. They mentioned that thwy thought I disnt live up to my 'full potential' and that I was an 'under achiever'.

I felt squirmish but kind of dead weighted (apathetic maybe), as they mentioned this. I didnt habe a good time in school, probably for a few reasons, but one of the main ones, is I think I was depressed even as a child.

I have low self confidence still to this day, and Ive thought about why I have such low self-esteem and low self-worth too (maybe? 🤔); And I think a large parth of that is from my schooling experiences.

It was nice meeting the teacher again after so long, but I have feelings of bitterness and like the teaxhers at school (and other students), effected me in a very negitive way and stunted my growth.

[On The Road]

Hi Ramblify,

I'm sorry to hear you had that experience.

and I can totally resonate with you on this one, I also think I have been depressed as a child.

I absolutely don't wanna recall my school years lol. I couldn't care less about meeting my primary teacher or schoolmates. Negative experiences can be traumatising, sometimes ppl don't understand why childhood adversities can still have impacts on children after they grow up. Ah yes, the bitterness, tell me about it (* unpleasant memory emerge* 😒) Emotional abuse from teachers, peer students and parents contribute a lot to childhood trauma. Now we can see lots of social research, journals, news talking about these childhood adversities' long-lasting effect on adults. we are the adult survivors of childhood trauma. Have u ever tried to see a therapist? 🙂

[Positive_vibes89]

Dear Ramblify,

You can take that comment as a positive or a negative. The positive is that they believe you are very capable of achieving anything that you can set your mind to. This teacher may have meant this to be a means of encouragement for you to strive towards more achievements within your life. They are simply saying don't underestimate yourself, because you are indeed able to do it! You dont know, if you dont try. The underachiever aspect is a little harsh, but it links so my above explanation. The teacher believes you have it in you to strive towards reaching goals and aspirtations in your life.

I sympathise with you too, I was a "under achiever", failed year 11 and left to become a chef which failed too. Fast fowardard 15 years later, im completing a bachelor degree in nursing. Im passing and doing well. Ive surprised myself hugely!!! Our minds change as we get older, we mature and become more educated. Your teacher is only making assumptions about your life based upon their past recollection of who you were as a child. I look back at my school experiences in a negative light, but that is the past. It is who you are now that is important and im sure you have accomplished many wonderful things within your life. It doesnt have to be educational milestones, it can be anything even if it is becoming a parent for example. Don't beat yourself up about what they have said.

I hope this sheds more of a positive outlook on the experience you have had.

Cheers

[Positive_vibes89]

On The Road, I understand completely what you are saying. Experiences from childhood definately do have an impact on your aduly life. I experienced major bullying for my weight and lack of ability to do mathematics. These have stayed with me, but they are not who I am.

However, im not in those environments anymore they were over 15 years ago. I do not look back on the past and let it effect my present and future.

[On The Road]

Hi, Positive_vibes

thanks for the reply. I totally agreed with you that they are the problem, not us. I'm still in the process of externalising these memories, however, my recent life has not been easier.

I'm glad that I left those environments as they belong to the past instead of letting them further destroy me. I don't want more baggage carrying. 🙂

[jaz28]

Hi Ramblify,

I am sorry they said this to you! What happens in school/childhood can have lasting impacts on you for a long time...My anxiety was at its worst when I was in primary school. That made my life very hard and I was labelled to be a strange kid due to my outbursts and crying etc. In high school I was fine and got along with everyone, I was no longer that strange kid... I managed to change most peoples opinions (the few that came with me to high school anyway) and now I am actually quite close to them as we have done 13 years+ of life together. No one really dwells on anyone else's past...only their own...so it is easy for them to forget that we all have had struggles and traumas that make us who we are...and even forget about certain things that happened all those years ago.

I don't think what they said was personal, just a reflection on how they think you are smart and capable of great things...little do they know many years have passed since then and you could have done many great, even small, things...how you are in school does not define you forever...and they don't realise what you have been through.

Maybe see a therapist and discuss your school experience?

Feel free to reach out,

Jaz.