Hi everyone, I'm back.

[Guest_4643]

Hi everyone, mb20lover here. I wasn't sure where to post this.

It's been a while since I was on the forums, so I just wanted to make a post saying that I'm back. However, I'll try my best to limit my time, comments, etc on here.

I won't bother tagging anyone, and I'll try to keep this as my only open thread that I have created.

I've missed everyone I've spoken to on here, and I hope to talk to some new people. I have been using my offline supports - my Psychiatrist, GP, Parent support of course, and a Social Worker. I'm in the process of finding a Psychologist but I'm having no luck.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and say hello, and also I hope I haven't upset anyone on the forums or anything like that because nothing was intentional, so I deeply apologise.

An update on me, I recently turned 21, can't do much with COVID though, it's a hard year for everyone unfortunately.

I also have a milestone, an achievement, I've been seeing my Psychiatrist for a year which is the longest I've stayed with a therapist. And I also finally have a GP I feel comfortable with. I'm on different meds that seem to be working a little but I still of course have my moments, but these meds I've been on the longest for out of any of the ones I've tried.

Other than that, please don't feel pressured to comment anyone, although it would be nice to connect with some people, old or new, but like I said that's okay. I just wanted to check in.

If you've read this and made it this far, thank you. Stay safe and take care everyone, as much as possible with the unfortunate COVID circumstances.

Thinking of all the Beyond Blue Mods & Users. I've missed everyone.

- mb20lover.

[HamSolo01]

bob.smith20200416

[Chris D]

Hey Tayla,

Your welcome re the kind words of support.
I do recommend the service I said in my last comment but only if you want too. Whatever you choose I'll support you as best I can.

Although it may have been a difficult decision to delete family/friends from social media outlets it sounds like it was the right choice at present.

You are right in saying sometimes it's not the quantity of ppl but the quality of the individuals, take a less is more approach.

Take care xx

Chris

[Guest_4643]

Hamsolo - hey, nice to hear from you. Feel free to pop in anytime. You're right, I only go on Facebook to check some pages I buy stuff from, talk to the friends in America and one in NSW I haven't met yet, and that's about it really. But with me I just never feel good enough for people and it's really difficult. No one seems to understand my Avoidant Personality Disorder which makes me clingy etc, I can't help it. There's no treatment/therapy because I've looked. It's a real thing. I found a Facebook page about it and they said Michael Jackson had it aswell so that says a lot. People don't want to understand and empathise with it, they just call me annoying, etc. And then if I distance myself I get blamed for not talking to people, but I try and get ignored, like what? I prefer going on these forums anyway because 1 it's all moderated, and 2, people understand and are friendly. I live with my Parents, they're the only Family I talk to. My Grandparents (Mum's parents, Dad's passed away before I was born) were the only other family I had but they passed away years ago.

Chris - thank you, I support you and everyone else here too. I just wish someone other than my Parents, whether it's family or friends, loved me. I wish I had a best friend, especially in person. I have nobody.

[Chris D]

I'm sorry to hear that it sounds like you have been through so much in your life.

I wish I could be there for you in person. Just a reminder myself & many others are here for you.

I understand not having a best friend in person you can talk too it can be lonely & frustrating not having anyone there. But there are many on BB that I'm sure would love to be your friend for who you can chat about things too.

Your not alone don't ever think you are because your not.

Take care

Chris

[Guest_4643]

Thanks Chris, that means a lot to me. I'm here for everyone on here too. I wish I could be everyone's friend in person aswell. It honestly sucks, whenever I see people with friends, especially young people, it just makes me all jealous and depressed. I've never really had that before.

[Chris D]

Your welcome.
Yeah it can make you feel that way for sure, I know first hand. It is depressing & frustrating not having similar aged ppl in your life.
I really get what your saying & understand how you feel.
Your a kind, caring, loving person don't you ever forget that. I'm sure you are everyone's friend how can ppl not like you. You have shown a lot of good qualities that many ppl do not have. You have all the qualities that make you a wonderful, caring, understanding & loving person.

[Guest_4643]

Aw thank you, I think the same about you. That really means a lot. I don't understand these so called "family" members (cousins and an Auntie) - 2 of them deal with mental illnesses, and they say they understand, but they really don't. If they understood they would respond even if I wanted someone to talk to, or was in an ok mood. I even asked how their Christmas & New Years were, just to make conversation, got ignored. I'm a very sensitive person so this makes me annoyed. It's not that hard to say you're not up to talking instead of ignoring somebody because I would be understanding if someone said that. It's just plain rude ignoring people but posting, talking to others, etc. I understand we need time to ourselves but they say they're "busy", why are they on Facebook 24/7 then? That's not being busy. Ugh people.

[Chris D]

Your welcome & thank you.
It is rude to ignore someone & the family members of you I think need to take a gd hard look at them selves & actually see how your made to feel by them & there actions. You deserve to have your voice heard & your thoughts and feelings known. It doesn't take much to say "hello" to someone & also to strike up a conversation. Ppl can be very frustrating for sure. I understand there family but I think you should surround yourself with ppl who do care about you & where you voice your thoughts and feelings.
You need to take care of yourself & know your coping mechanisms for when you are feeling low.
I am glad that you able to voice your concerns here somewhere you know that your being heard. Your thoughts do matter.
You matter as an individual ppl here do care about you. I really do care about how your feeling along with others I'm sure.
You need to be heard & don't let anyone shut you down. You are important to many ppl here @ BB.
Take care
Chris

[Guest_4643]

Thanks for that, it means a lot. Some people are just really ignortant. That's why these forums are good because we all understand each other and everything is moderated.

[Guest_4643]

Hey everyone, I see my Psychiatrist tomorrow, I have a few things to discuss with him, mostly about so called Psychologists I've seen.

The one I saw before Christmas said this in the session, word for word - "I cancel appointments with my patients because I need time to myself." Um, what? That's so stupid. I understand that, but isn't that why they go home? Don't do that job then. I found it really rude, not just for myself but other patients, it's unfair. Not trying to sound judgemental but does anyone else find that stupid and selfish? Like why are you in that job then?

I also have a feeling I should say something about the executive assistant I email at the Telehealth company, she passes on my emails to my psychiatrist and whatnot, but she can be rude at times, and she tries to force me to see someone who I don't want to, such as this Psychologist I'm referring to. I have a right, myself, to choose who I want to see, right? And what would a receptionist know? She snapped at me and said it's not the Psychologists' fault. Um yes it is.