Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩….🤗..

Been thinking about you so much today…and wanted to say hello and give you a very special bbff caring hug….

I am painting my fingernails….something I haven’t done for so many years…I have fingers that have deformed a bit due to arthritis…so I don’t know why I’m doing this😂…I like the colour..it’s a mauve pink with glitter in the colour….I like glitter, they remind me of something fairies would have coming out of their tiny sparkling wings, when they are flittering around the flowers….

How are you feeling my bbff?….no need to reply…if your not up to posting….just wanted to pop in and tell you that your in my heart beautiful friend…

Lots of love, care and hugs 💙🦋🤗🦜🦜.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[mmMekitty]

Hi DB. [Grinning LRC]

I know, I see you at Grandy's, but I thought it was about time I came by yours, as well. Hehe, like dropping a line in your window & seeing if you'll bite! [LRC holds fishing pole with chocolate tied to the line- no hooks, just bait/lure]

Hugzies offered, too.

mmMekitty

[demonblaster]

Hi Grandy 👩‍❤️‍👩 Kitty Quirky and everyone hi 

Sigh having troubles posting again, I will contact here ugh. Annoying and time consuming. 

We're going next wk to brothers for a wk finally. 

Backs good and able to sleep in bed now which is great. 

Grandy I'd posted a couple days ago but it keeps saying over character limit all the time even when I've reduced drastically. 

Just doing a quicky for now because I can't be blowed with the grief of trying to post again. 

Loved that about your nails 💅 Grandz and I dearly hope Weds went ok for you sweety. I'll see how you're going at yours in a tic. 

Kitty thanks too lovey and Quirky was lovely seeing you Hope you're feeling better poor thing. 

So much love and always thoughts dear besty bbff 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💜👀💫

[mmMekitty]

Hi, I have been frustrated by the character count being inaccurate. I've split a few posts because of how it didn't seem to notice I'd edited at all.

Would posting small chunks work for you, DB? One topic at at time?

Saying, that, I'm going to change the subject!

Sleeping in your bed again, surely must help you get a better night's sleep?! I hope so.

Napping on a chair might be good for a short while, but not the best for the quality sleep.

Ha, not having any pain or discomfort would help, too, eh?

That's another reason I like having something, usually a book, to listen to, for the way I can focus on the story, & be more or less distracted - do it well enough, & I can get to sleep.

Hope you enjoy your week away, with your brother's(?) place. Have fun! Hoping for some sun.

Hugzies,

mmMekitty

[Ggrand]

Hello beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩..

Please, please, do get in touch with BB to help you with posting….

I have the same frustrating trouble with the character count….I down loaded a word note pad with character and word count….that one says my post is under 2,500 yet when I go to post it won’t let me…the forum reply says I’m over the character limit….

Maybe sweet lady, do 2 short posts and post the both of them until it all gets sorted out…I have been that frustrated at times..I had to leave the forums until I done some very deep breathing….

I do hope your okay…..miss our chats, but understandable that your not feeling up to it due to forum issues…..I’ll continue to keep my both 👀 on your thread as well as both 👂👂….and holding on to both your hands 🙌🏼 precious friend…

Thinking of you with lots of love, care 💙🦋🌜⚡️🌛…hugs dear Deebi🤗🤗🤗🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..

[mmMekitty]

Hey BB. I'm thinking of you, too - don't know where you live, so I can only hope you are safe from flood waters. Take care, get you & yours to a safe place, if you need.

Hugzies,

mmMekitty

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩, waves mmMeKitty and everyone…🤗..

Deebi, are you okay, both mentally and physically….only answer if you want to….Just sending you a large bunch of native flowers  💐 which I pressed and dried out especially for you…so they will keep forever…If you look closely, you’ll see a tiny Koala 🐨, a tiny Kookaburra 🦅 and a tiny kangaroo 🦘….these are little chocolates that I hand made myself, adding some Kahlua 

liquor into the centre….also you’ll see a little pretty pink crystal heart brooch that will absorb all your negative energy and reverse it into positive energy for your beautiful soul…

Thinking of you with so much love, care and kindness with lots of hugs…enough for a group hug with all your friends here…and one special warm and comforting hug….for when you need it…

My thoughts are with you today as they are each day…pubaok..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy..🕊🌱🍀🌿🌲…

[Ggrand]

Hello Beautiful Deebi👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩  and everyone…🤗..

Just calling in this morning, very early morning…thanks to Mr Roosters 🐓 singing..don’t you think that he wait at least until the sun breaks through😵‍💫😵😁.

How is your little holiday at your brothers place going….I remember you saying that he got another dog a few years ago….I know that your a bit frightened of dogs, so I’m hoping that your new dog along with his other dog are behaving themselves and giving you lots of kisses….Don’t worry about Destiny and Eternity they are having so much fun with my 3 dogs…running all around and playing chasing around my house…😂…

I really hope honey that you and Mr Deebi are enjoying yourself and making some good memories and plenty of photos….

Not wanting to disrupt your holiday, but well…..I needed to say hello and let you know I’m thinking of you daily with care and love in my heart for you…🦋💙🤗🤗…..and ask you “if you want a very noisey rooster 🐓 …I know exactly where one is” ..😂😁..

Enjoy your time with your brother and his family precious friend…pubaok..yadimh…

Hugs beautiful people..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy

[mmMekitty]

Hey DB. I know you are there. [Grinning LRC, waving at the window], or soon will be, so here I am to open up all the windows, do some dusting, & shake out the sheets, & fluff cushions, & whatever else I can to freshen up your place, since your recent trip away having good times with your brother& sister-in-law.

I'm happy to see you wherever I do, here or at Grandy's or anywhere. Your perseverance, living with what you have to, yours & Grandy's - & others too, give me courage too.

Hugzies,

mmMekitty

[Ggrand]

🌜💙👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩💙🌛…..✨✨💫✨✨… 🔥🤜👿🤛🔥