Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Ggrand]

Hello Sweetie Deebi..

🤦‍♀️👀.. Just looking for some things for later 💼.. ... I hope your doing well, and your flicks movie was good.. and you had a yummy chocolate top ice cream I hope you had two...lol one for me as well... avengers. Yay...

bbl. with some stuff.........Ihave...oil...sponge...massager rollers... and...yeah...this to ...and that one...geez it's hard on the back searching for stuff....oh ..oh..their it is...I need this as well.....ok talk soon...

Hehe hehe

Grandy..💜🌹🦄.

[demonblaster]

Hey darl ☺ soz I just saw this and I check back so it must've landed later sorry would have replied earlier, thanks for dropping by ☺

The last few days I've seen a few friends, outs and bits. I like people contact..mostly 😄

That's ok it's best to ease into excercise else you can get too tired or and sore and lose motivation. Take your time lovey it's a good distraction and yeah like you said with friends is too. You're doing soo well it's soo good to see you rising, hope you start to feel it soon.

I'm buying the odd durry off people and off them full time ya notice the difference doing hills. Now I've gotta settle with the eating. Sigh ☺

Saw the Avengers today was funny I was thinking I like this I wonder if friend is it may not be her thing and right then she said are you liking this lol I said yes are you? We laughed when she said no.

Have a good sleep Sapphire hopefully that's coming easier now. Oh and good on you with speech pathology, communication's a major need. It'd be terrible not being able to. Nursing and around I've seen the frustration and difficulty. Very worthwhile job darl 👍

Hope your days keep improving chook you're so going in the right direction, we're with you every step 💙💗🤗 your welcome to join in with us to the camp fire too, planning stages so jump in anytime lovey if you like that goes for everyone 🌴

😅 Grandy. Haha you're gorgeous 🤗

Someone else said Planter ? Fascitis ? and I said I'd heard about that oh-oh sounds like it might be. Just have to see what goes.

Ok better choof, friend called in before so I'm later here. Bed soon. Tired

Hope you have a lovely sleep darls so good to see you happy and mucking around 🤗 The little chooky emoji was sad, you're good aren't you? want you to be well and happy lovely 💗

There's a warm lemon and honey drink on your table there on the pretty pink and purple lacey doilly and what's that over there...oh .. looky... 🍫..it was just popping it's head out so you could see it

Nigh nite. Love you 💜 thank you ☺

🎄♨️🤹‍♀️

Nigh nite lovely friends 🤗

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

I hope you enjoyed the flicky 🎥..The Avengers...a child at heart..Love that, lol Ive watched all of them..

Ive been really busy this arvo collecting things for a super special 💆 tonight..but we have to go to the massage headquarters of....{{Honey Deebi and Flossy Grandy Magic Finger Massage}}...

Firstly close your eyes, and hold my hand,, 🐉Deendy is taking us to the land of aquafalls...sit back on Deendy hold on to me for a gentle flight to a land that every wish can come true.....We need to get you to lay down on the massage bed, it's made of feathers and covered in those teensiest flowers 🌺 ever...ahhh There you go...I'm going to supervise our little 💆..close your eyes soak up the warmth of that ☀️...listen to the sound of the pan flute...

These tiny little fairies are coming out of there brightly coloured flower stems houses,,they're so cute, like you Deebi...They start by putting some eucalyptus oil on your heel, they rub, twist, massage they massage the oil deep into your heel...then rest it on a pillow of eucalyptus leaves 🍃 ...

Now there doing your shoulders, neck, and head massaging firmly and gently, it makes your head tingle it's so relaxing,,,then they brush your hair with a special massage brush. Your loving it honey..you don't want them to stop..but they are tiny fairies and are tired, just close your eyes honey I'll take over...

The fairies bring us a warm beverage made from the sap of the trees , we drink it slowly, it's so yummy,, oh dear we can't stop yawning we're so 😴..The drink was an elixir for deep sleep...to tired the body is so heavy, you fall asleep on the bed of teensiest 🌺 the fairies...yawn.....

they are carrying a blanket of silk from the silk 🐛,,,it's so tranquil,,the pan flute playing, the soft flower bed, the silk blanket..me brushing your hair..it's just to relaxing for you, sleep is coming Deebi, sleeps here you accept it..you close your 👀, the pan flute slowly sounds like its getting further away, but no it's you your mind is totally absolute relaxation..you let go Deebi, your asleep now, deeply sleeping, sweetly dreaming of happiness..

The fairies said you'll sleep till sunrise, waking to a new day..with the morning sun rays shining into your heart for a day of happies...and peace...love you ver much Deebi..

Good Night, Deebi, sleep well,, 💜🌹🦄..

(L&C). Hugs 🤗🤗..for all..I hope whoever is reading this also has deep and sweet sleep..🌹💜..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹 Grandy...

[demonblaster]

😲...Wow! ... on so many levels

back later floss ... LOVE IT ... 💜 ... incredible 💗

woke at 4, late night now birdies starting to sing back to bed soon. Hope you had a good one Grandy ☺🌟 love 💜

BP day ? 4

Spare dot if any one wants it. Tablet gremlins nigh nite

[Birdy77]

Deebs, reading your words to people you always bring a smile to my dial, you're a classic lady and wonderful person😊

Here's a dot for you as well, 2 in fact, enjoy!

🌻birdy

[smallwolf]

DB,

My son likes all those films. He also saw the latest one with his friends recently. Not my cup of tea, movie wise. Last film I saw was "The Post" that my wife and I saw. I like real life stories in movies. Though I do like Star Wars.

Don't go giving out too many of those dots... there is only a finite supply and I hear they can be addictive 🙂

Tim

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

BP day 4?..R U OK?.....here for you.😊

🦄 🤗💜🌹.... 👂👀.

(L&C)..deeply Deebi..

Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Your lovely words live up to your name tweety ☺ thank you darl so nice to hear 💗🤗

Been thinking about you more than usual, how are you? esp regarding your lovely chooky friend 💗 don't like you being sad, hugging you again x

haha phew thanks I needed more dots lol and 2 wow..bonus 😅. I read your posts on other threads too, they're very supportive and caring tweets x

Hey be weally careful ok.. ...pweddy sure I did.. I did... see a puddy tat 😚

Wolfy heya 😊 always lovely to see you too. I thought in parts Avengers was a bit in your face as in too close for some action parts they sometimes go too far for effects but it's all about learning and improving and that they do. Friend felt it was all over the place (story) which itvwas but I'm not good at following stories so action suits me ya get the gist of it all. I watch less action now days I like drama sci fi martial arts and same as you true stories I've always liked if their not too deep in story.

Ahaa so you know about the finite dot supply and being addictive 😆 little swine wouldn't budge 😃 and either did I for a while. I'm trying to learn to be stubborn for less time on certain things so eventually I gave in 🤤 hence the dot lol

I always read your thread and you know I care very much don't you. While I remember in one we were in recently one of your 3 dot points was a lifeline ph no: which is different to the one I have so I googled to be sure unless there's other numbers? ☺ It's 131114

I really appreciate your time and visits.Very comforting you not giving up, thank you from my heart Wolfy you matter and you also make a difference 🤗

[Ggrand]

Good Night Deebi,🦄.🌹

I really hope it's not Planta Fascilitis..it hurts..I spent heaps of $'s on special insoles for my shoes..None worked, what I done in the end was to make the arc part in the insoles higher by cutting the arc out of old innersoles and sewing or glueing them together, making just the arc part higher, that stops the fasciitis tendon from overstretching when walking...Don't know if that makes any sense but if not I will try to explain better again later..💜🌹..

Awe honey I hope you are doing okay, I get concerned about you at times... more then other times.🤔..

Thank you for the 🍋 and 🍯 drink 🍹 and the gorgeous pretty pink and purple Lacey doily it's beautiful 😌..oh the 🍫, yummy, thank you please can stay and share it with me....

Good Night my sweet friend, love you so much..I hope you sleep well and tomorrow your day is better then today's....Ive got this beautiful magical 🦅..eagle, he will take you to peaceful places when you sleep..I'm .👂and 👀..You always, I'm keeping an eye on you sweetheart.

💜 & 🤗. Deeply Deebi..🦄..

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..

Nite Night Everyone..🤗..

[demonblaster]

You're a class act Grandy. They always blow me away and that lovey went to another level. I felt secure in the gentle touch that was beautiful. Felt it all the massage ohhh god yeah 😀 I'm trying not to rave on so I'll pull up, hard tho lol 🤗 made my soul glow ☄

BP yeah darl about on schedule for me I kinda didnt get my happies back after this last one and it was a long one and deeps. I'm going to try a different way this time

I've said in mania how the mind wakes. It feels alive and active.This energy seems to stimulate thinking. The other day feeling good (mania) what I've worked out and learnt here so far all made perfect sense and was in order. I could see how to get through it, but these thoughts didn't last long tho on waking the next morning I was aware I'd been dreaming of the same. Felt fragmented but came good This was over a short time too.

Was a mild mania hopefully the down will be quicker and lighter too if I can keep sleep and not have any others

I'm ok average, no bigs tho

Do you mean Avengers with Mr whatsy in a bowler hat and Mrs chooky? I remember liking those. This is super hero stuff there was a few of them.

Hope you're doing ok Grandy your sleep started getting mucked up. Thinking of you and tomorrow I'm at yours if ok to be close by. You doin ok lovey 🤗 remember know matter how I am I want to know how yous are. Here for you too lovey ☺

Going to see Breath sometime at the flicks with chooky, it looks really good. Flossy I"m guessing a big drive but do you go to them much, could be good for you every now and then for outs

Cya sweets. L💜 V E you 😚

nite all ☺ thanks for listening