Surviving: Being in a better place

[demonblaster]

Hi all 🙂
Thought this thread might be of use to talk about your stories if you like and where you're at now.
In a better place.

I have Bipolar, (BP) pretty sure all my life. Wasn't diagnosed, I approached them thinking I have this at age 46.
The ups (mania) are magic, ying and yang (opposites) evident with BP & in many other ways.
The downs, crippling. Still ..but I'm DETERMINED to beat them with time & effort and professional help.One of the psychiatrists said it can't be beaten, I say cause it maybe hasn't been done, doesn't mean it can't be.
Have come an incredibly long way so far.
Long way to go probs but HAS to be sooner rather than later, else this mother of a demon will get me, I live in fear of going under the line again which majority of the time the head goes South but looking back at those times knowing I got through & that it's not always like that helps.
SO many good times, happy times between.

The cycles have gone from Rapid cycling (4 or more a yr) to 8/10 a yr since the loss of my beloved partner of 28yrs to leukaemia.

My teens starting at 14yrs I attempted suicide 4 times.
You're in hell considering, contemplating & ultimately attempting suicide, we're going against our strongest basic instinct. Survival.

Wanted OUT, couldn't see anything but Black in my head, no light, no way out, no other choice, the depression beast had me engulfed as it does most of the time in cycles now too.
Rock bottom. The pits.

I've learnt a lot one thing is it doesn't stay this way.
Sleep's vital. We don't get a lot or quality when down, it affects how we feel usually in a negative way.
Life's so much harder when we're tired and exhausted, we see feel & react to things differently
That part of our brain that works at pulling us down, I think with everyone, not only mental illness or disorders

Self esteem rock bottom, still working at it, it's true we have to like/love ourselves works as a shield.
Great loving good parents lucky

If I'd known in suicide yrs I'd meet a beautiful loving partner and have so much love from family, friends and happiness between the downs, I wouldn't have attempted.

BP downs equate to heavy grieving alone without it on top.It slammed but now I'm looking back and Yes still hurts, always will but we owe it to ourselves to keep going. We don't know whats ahead and nothing stays the same.

I know that now.

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

I really hope your lunch goes well today, and it's not to cold...brrrrr, Geez I searched my 💼 everywhere inside it, I wanted to give you a nice warm jacket, but Ive got none....but...wait...maybe..👢Boots, 👖Jeans,👕 T shirt. 👘.only jacket I got..but it's made from pure angora, so it's warm as...Now your nice and warm enjoy..

Big waves 👋 Pepper, Starts, Amanda, Sapphire and everyone..

Deebi, keep warm and cosy...love you a lot 💜🕊👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹🦄..

Warm and caring hugs,🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..

[demonblaster]

Haha you're such an angel I reckon my love joined us in friendship and love. Thank you for popping in I love your little stories support encouragement humour friendship and for dressing me so warmly how cute you are, geez you look after me ..love it ya sweety 😚🌹

Going to yours in a sec I so hope the phone call went well for you both I know you were so excited yet anxious poor thing 🤗 and that you're in full recovery, no doubt tired today though, careful lovey you don't want a relapse 👩‍🍳

Yes just back home we had a lovely day and saw their new place it's nice. Yes she lives close and saw another we don't see each other often but a good friend we live opposite eachother who offered me a lift home I was at supermarket but stayed longer with lunch darling. She's really special love her so much.

Hope your days good hun ⚘

I'm a lot brighter today these early nights helping I think like they are you tho I've woken early last couple, hope not anotjer cycle starting.

Foot it's kinda heel but up the back sheez stops me in my tracks, haven't walked today but thats ok. Ouch that sounded painful pretty sure I've heard of that amazing it just went aye but wow for yrs ouchems

Love you very much dear friend thank you you're very special 🦄 lady 🌟👀💗💜🤗🌹💑🕊🛴👩‍🍳 haha heaps more with our brilliant time 😄😃 you're beautiful xx

[startingnew]

Hi DB

thats really great to hear about your mh worker.

thats a shame about tt i hope you can keep it running. you might need to do some advertising like with flyers or on facebook or at your local community centre to see if that helps with things.

i hope your lunch with a friend went well and helped brighten your mood abit too.

Hugs xox

[Ggrand]

Good Night Sweetest Deebi..

What a beautiful thought..🌹💜..

That's so good Deebi, you had a good time, saw lovely friends new home... and you saw a neighbour you haven't seen for a while...maybe you might see each other more often....

I rang this morning, 3 times he wasn't home...so unexpected that he rang me...he has a business he is a trainer of martial arts, he is moving into another building bit bigger, so he said very busy....

I had a very anxious day, but okay now Deebi, I'm so glad your brighter, yeah I loved the earlier nights, but two nights now not really sleepy. but I want to sleep, I didn't do much today... I'm still so lethargic, and sore glands..starting to get a bit concerned about them now..

Rang the medical centre, psych is working .she only took one day off sick, but couldn't speak to her.. I'm worried she doesn't want to to deal with my issues, and am apprehensive on ringing.. Ummmm I don't expect you would understand it's like I'm asking her for a favour..it's hard..for me.🙄.

Take it easy with your heel, maybe the tendon at the back of the heel stretched a bit..maybe a massage with heat cream or zap your hot pack and rest your foot on that so that part of heel is on the heat..

I 🛴 over to yours..I thought we might try out the ⛺️..they have zips on the side so we can unzip then and we have a clear see through waterproof material to see our beautiful ✨ and 🌙..without the 🐜 bugs. Let's set it up on your lawn....lol..um blow up mattress...a doona...brrr it's cold.....hehe..lay down now honey, I'll get us a hot chocky and some 🎂...ahh...isn't this nice laying down 👀 at the ✨, ..relax now Deebi, I'll massage 💆 your heel first, then your head and shoulders,..how's that honey..sleep my dear friend.. ok now your nearly asleep my angel Wing glitter dust is working to keep you safe and 😁 😊..warm...Know your loved by me Deebi, very deeply 🌹🦄..love our time...

Good Night Deebi, 😴 Good and dream of sitting under a nice warm waterfall. Feel the water relax you while your asleep..😚🦄🌹. 🤗🤗.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩Grandy🌹.

ps..Good Night lovely readers and posters..🤗🤗. Sleepy time hugs for you..

[Sapphire_]

Heya Deebi.

Im glad your lunch date went well. Its always good to get out with friends. Can take us out of our own lil world. Did you have a nice piece of cake after lunch? I been craving some nice fluffy cake with strawberries and cream. 🍰 yummy

I went for my first walk today and was thinking of all the hills you walk. How big are the hills? Must be buce scenery. Oh my i struggled to walk on a flat road to the park which is only 3 blocks away. Need to quit smoking and exercise more.

Good your having more sleep.😪😴 its really is good for mh isnt it when we get good sleeps. Hope you get some more tonight.

💙💙Sapphire xx

[Peppermintbach]

Hi DB,

Thank you 🙂

I hope you had a lovely catch up with your friend yesterday. It’s a shame that you couldn’t go for a walk though. The foot pain sounds awful...how long do you think it will be before you can go on your lovely walks again?

Yes, your early nights do seem to be helping but it must be annoying to wake up again in the middle of the night. Hopefully your sleep patterns settle soon...

Thanks, some of your choccie supply that I’m minding for you is in my stomach. Lol!

Sending love...talk after the weekend. A big wave to Grandy and all 🙂

Super soul hugs,

Pepper xoxo

[demonblaster]

Thanks Starts yes I made a mistake a while back apparently it took I think 2 and half yrs to get into this MH programme which I'd forgotten about, someone has to exit for newbies to enter. I was desperately saying I just need someone to talk too that isnt emotionally connected so he must've heard my desperation and prioritised me.

tt it'd be a big shame if it folds but if it does I'll work something out, its a concern but I'm not stressing much on it but I need to act on it and get yes some more advertising happening, I do bits but need to do a lot more. I'm still doing special group/s only got 1 atm.

Hope your days better SLD and that you rest your arm/hand wondered if the painting might have stirred the fingers poor thing 🤗

Pepstar heya, hope your w/e is a good one for you lovely I'm sure it'll be just fine with my diminishing choccy stash 😄

Thanks yes always fantastic with her love her very deeply she da bomb.

I'll see how today goes with a walk lovey I hope it passes wow it ouches when it comes on I have to stop and go really carefully. I'll have to layby some good shoes. I think our feet are one of the most neglected parts of our bodies.

Yes it's good sleeping well and enough these days, I just went back to sleep this morning when wee hrs woke me.

See you later lovely friend 🤗 oh haven't given you a ☘ for ages, I plucked that from far ... far away, it's a rare one so best you laminate it 😀😚

[demonblaster]

Dear Flossy, if you knew how beautiful it is to read your warming posts and such good care to me and our fantasy, ohhh just LOVE our time thank you, you've got Gold running through your veins dear friend 🤗

How's the Psych usually towards you is she nice and does she help? It may not be as you're thinking geez hope not! It could be she's inundated with work. Keep at her sweety darl you need to see her especially now.

Wow martial arts teacher, love watching it on TV shows not that there's much. Good on him I was wondering if he worked. So thrilled you had a good chat to everyone. That's a beautiful memory for you. And if Mandys hearing this what a heart warming post she did to you on your thread re your son. She's beautiful too amongst so many here.

Yeah bloody foot, hope it settles soon I think could be something like tendon too tho it's intermittent. Thanks I'll try heat and massage I did a bit other day with other foot, I have to be careful leaning forward because of potential back outs so I graciously accept any of your care for me 😚

The blow up mattress/Doonas comfy.. ohh its neat and like there's nothing there so we can see the ✨ and🌙 (ha copied em) ohh loven honey 🤗 and your magic glitter dust and wings wow you look after me well what did I do to deserve you lovely

That waterfalls amazing..how cute your wings are stopping me getting cold and you fell asleep with me, your head on my shoulder. Sleep now darling, lovely peaceful dreams and you'll awaken to your 😍 Deebi who loves you very much and you'll feel completely refreshed and invigorated for a brand new beautiful day, suns shining it's gorgeous and we're great friends 😚💜🌹🛴

Thank you always beautiful soul 💗 you make such a difference.

Agree about a good jobs helping other people enhancing their lives. I loved nursing for same it was helping people in their lives.

Have a great day lovey ☺🦄🍋

[Ggrand]

Hello Deebi,

Your posts Warm my heart always Deebi, your so caring and it comes out when you talk..

Deebi, the psych not sure I don't think she's great, but she was helping me..I mean I started comfortable enough to start letting her inside my thoughts..

Yes he's real good his students are getting international awards as he is...cant say much here though...

we have such a freezing cold day today...Snowing close by..the winds carrying sleet with it and I like the cold better the heat..

I'll come over tonight and give you a very special foot massage with my friends..if that's okay? 💆....

Im determined well trying to be to get out for a walk this arvo...maybe some walking will bring back some energy..windy and cold, but I like dress warm but I like the feeling of the Icy wind hitting my face.. lol 😂 not sure why..

I hope your days a good one.. With some outs or something you like doing....take it easy with heal...hey you know that really wide sticky plaster for large wounds, maybe stick some across the back of your leg heel, adding support maybe... .

Thank you for your shoulder last night gee I hope I didn't hurt it at all...it was the best sleep Ive had for a long time...Dreaming of the waterfall plus being at yours... and waking up to your care, gee it's nice starting the day with you because I love you so much..💜.. Maybe we will need some magical heaters at out campfire or put the fires in our tents...lol 😂 😂..in our imagination world we can have a fire in our tent and be safe..🦄🦄🌹 now that's gold..fantasy is the best...

Love you Deebi..💜.

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩🌹Grandy..

thank you everyone for being who you are..🤗🤗🤗..hugs xoxo

I

[demonblaster]

Ahhh just lost a big post to you huns drat it

You must be so proud I can imagine the love in your eyes 🤗

So she's so so. Mmm she better look after you, you're precious 💗

😂😂😂 loven the ♨️ in our tents 😆 hey we could put recliners in too for when we're not laying down looking up at our 🦄✨

Everyones invited just a lovely calm quiet get together under the stars at our camp fire ♨️ but you will need to say the secret code to open the magic 🦄..🚪door...it's ..."hongelly bongelly" but don't repeat it on the internet or anything...wait up..ohhh..🤤

Grandy great idea with the tape. Aww I'd love your company and another lovely foot massage thank you so much and I love starting the day with you lovely and love you so much too 💜🌹

I know what you mean about it on your face I love it with rain but usually umbrella not that we need them much here. My brothers getting sleet too where I was before on hols. Yeah I prefer cooler yikes but that sounds too cool lol

Going to flicks with friend that re nigged other time and I was glad lol she wanted to see a subtitled I said nah and hinted a few times Avengers 😅 yay we're seeing that sarvo and oh la la choc tops yummmm. She's lovely too.

Good girl wanting to walk, remember I'm always with you holding your hand so you're never alone lovely friend you mean so much to me 🤗💜😚🦄🌹💗✨

Be well sweets ☺