Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

Overcasty blah weather here. Gosh I miss summer already! I've walked Miss Stormy and now settled into my uni reading. Thank you both, Paws and Hanna, for the idea of jotting some notes down to take to my supervisor. I've been researching ideas, and will meet with her Thursday.

Hanna, sorry you also found yesterday difficult. I hope your trip to the library was enjoyable. Did you find anything interesting to read? I'm currently reading Radical Help, which is about the welfare state, and how it's no longer fit for purpose, and ideas for transforming it. I'm quite enjoying it. I'd love a good page turner to dig into though. Might ride to the library later. It's annoying not having money for books OR petrol. But on the plus side, if I must ride it might take care of those pesky covid kilos that are still hanging on! lol

Paws, I had to google to see when Elvis passed. I wasn't even 1, so that explains why I don't remember that. I used to love watching his movies when I was younger, they always seemed so fun and cheeky.

Sleepy, thanks for popping in. How are you managing the cooler weather? I was just peeking in on the "do you like yourself?" thread and note someone picked up on a wonderful trait of yours. You can be really proud of that. You're pretty amazing, you know?

Well, I've 2 sleepy furs next to me. The other one I saw earlier, hanging out in the shower cubicle lol. Whatever floats your boat, right?

Hugs, Hugs, Katy 🙂

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

Gosh it turned cold and bleak here today, brrr. Tomorrow even worse apparently - we're really heading into winter here. I'm glad you got some notes done for Uni. I had to fuss around with getting the car rego done and other boring but necessary things - and a walk for Sam - before it got so cold and bleak we stayed in for the afternoon and I've been listening to Jorden Peterson videos - he's hugely controversial but gosh he is a fascinating speaker. Now I'm off to watch the ABC and maybe a DVD.. today was actually hectic but not in a good way, just getting stuff done.

I couldn't find anything at the library, i think I've read all the good stuff - I've put a couple of non fiction books on reserve but there's a wait for them. I can't seem to read novels lately for some reason.

I have to have a vision test for my driver's licence tomorrow, yet another fun activity that has to be done oh goody.

Not much news here - I can imagine you're missing summer and at the moment I am missing the coast badly!!!

Sam's snuggled up next to me on the couch in his jumper and with a blanket snug around him and of course we have the heating on. Brr. it's chilly! Do you get a cold wind where you are? I thought you might get one off the ocean?

Sending hugs.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

Sorry I've been absent again. Bit stressed out here myself, and hard having no support. I have a meeting with my supervisor tomorrow, but will try and check in after that.

Katy

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

I know the feeling of no support, so here is some for you at least on line - not the same as someone there I know... good luck with the supervisor today, I'll do my best (computer willing) to come by later today... and see how you got on.

I bought the Unplugged cd and now I play Nirvana all the time in the car - it sounds great! I can play Jesus don't want me for a sunbeam over and over as I drive! Cool stuff.

Good luck and let us know how you go today... fluffy cuddles from little Sam... ooxoxoxoxoxo

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

Thanks for the support, and cuddles from Sam. My meeting went well. My supervisor was happy with my mark, so that's good. She also told me she's confident I'll write a great thesis. I told her she could hold onto that confidence for us both lol. Phew... glad that's out of the way.

Love the thought of you listening to Nirvana in your car. You'll have the words memorised soon enough and you too will be able to sing about not being wanted for a sunbeam, when you're having a bad day. Quite cathartic!

Feel tired now. Hope your day's going ok and you're warm and pain free. Katy xo

[Hanna3]

You worried for no reason again, that should teach you! That must be a relief for you, hooray.

I have heard the sunbeam sun before, I think it's originally an old religious song isn't it. I like all of them on the Uplugged in New York album, but they're all very dark.

Glad things went well for you today!

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

One of those days where the world looks ugly and I don't want to be here...

but I have an assignment to write. Just wish I could "get better". I'm tired of everything being so hard.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Katyonthehamsterwheel,

We're sorry to hear you are feeling this way. It sounds like you are navigating a very overhwelming space right now. We just want to remind you and encourage you that in overwhelming moments for you to get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

We are glad that you are reaching out here on your thread for support from our wonderful community. 

[Guest_4643]

hello Katy, and others. i apologise for popping in, i hope i'm not interrupting.

i just wanted to say i'm sorry you're struggling and feeling this way. i wanted to stop by and say you're a lovely person on the forums, always being caring and supportive of others, and you're a valued member (not just because of the badge though). i hope you feel better and you're safe. take care. i'll be around, i just saw that you were sad so i wanted to drop in and say that. apologies if i interrupted anything, wasn't intentional.

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy,

I'm so very glad you're here lass... you are a beautiful soul...

Lass hold on tight to all the people who care about you... we are all here for you... as are your family & friends in r/l... & don't forget the lovely people on the helplines are there to listen...

Sending you a comforting warm hug...

Paws