Not in a good space

Katyonthehamsterwheel · ‎09-12-2019

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

Guest_1643 · ‎16-05-2021

hey Katy just letting you know i'm thinking of u and hoping u feel better

assessments are so hard with mh, please take care of urself x

golden82 · ‎16-05-2021

hi Katy,

As with everyone else here, just want to offer a message of support. I get how you feel - it is like that everyday for me for at least 6mo I would say - dropped to a new low. You will be okay - you have Storm. In fact your posts of Storm have been the main reason I am looking to get a dog v soon. I truly think a dog is the best therapy for me now; and I have love to give. Hang in there, for a nice walk with Stormy 🙂

Katyonthehamsterwheel · ‎16-05-2021

Life's strange, right? How you're struggling with uni, your car breaks down, you've got $7 to your name, no one to help you, someone telling you you suck, and you already hate yourself...

and then a bunch of strangers on the internet, who don't know you at all, can be so beautiful and loving. thankyou

Guest_4643 · ‎17-05-2021

I'm so sorry Katy, I wish I could do more. I hope things get better for you. You're definitely loved here by many, me included, even if I don't go on your threads much, I still think of you and wonder how you are.

You're right, I've met (well not face to face but hopefully one day) some of the best people in my life online, whereas no one in person seems to understand.

Take care, I wish I could do more to help you. And you don't suck at all. Whoever said that is the one that sucks. Some people are so selfish and cruel. You do not suck at all, you're amazing. You're so strong inside and out, and whilst you're struggling yourself, you try your best to help others, and you succeed.

Hugs Katy.

Hanna3 · ‎17-05-2021

Hi Katy, it's taken a day to get my computer working and I don't know how long it will work for, just wanted to say I know the feeling well, I am trying to work out how I can possibly afford sam''s special diet food from the vet this week - without it he starves and he can't eat anything else - and they won't let me buy it and pay it off weekly or anything...

I had to force myself up on this overcast, cold morning as I'm not too good either - and I'm taking Sam and me for a walk and a coffee from home... sometimes the worst thing is staying home thinking too much..

You might be tired out from the Uni work I think... and now the car - does it go at all? I'm dreading that happening to mine. Not having enough money sucks big time, it's such a major stress, it really messes us up doesn't it? I do really, really know the feeling, it's horrible and you worry all the time about how to make ends meet, and you never can save enough behind you to be ready for major problems like the car or computer breaking down.

Really hope you feel a bit better today... I will do my best to come by later and see how you are... if not it's because of the computer... really hoping things pick up for both of us lady!!!! oxoxoxoxo

Paw Prints · ‎20-05-2021

Hello Katy,

How are you lass?... I saw your friend was taking you out for coffee today... I really hope you were able to enjoy your outing & have a good natter...

I know how stressful it is not to have the money needed... lass please don't hesitate to contact Vinnies to get food vouchers or to go to a food bank... they are there for those of us on low income when we need help... Vinnies may also be able to help with funding your car repair... they can do one off payments for people in financial stress or they may have another option to help you... it is worth contacting them.

I think you have a bit of a break from uni now you have submitted you reply to the assessors... do make the most of it & make sure you get out with Storm soaking up some of the lovely Autumn sunshine...

Hugs

Paws

Katyonthehamsterwheel · ‎21-05-2021

Hello

Sleepy - wanted to thank you for popping by when I really needed some support - thankyou!

golden82 - I'm sorry you're finding things hard too. Dogs really are amazing. Stormy stuck right like glue when I had some awful days. I hope you can find yourself a buddy soon! Thanks for the support.

Tay - thanks for always being such a beautiful human. Always lovely to see you around the forums. You're such a warm and generous person. I'm sorry you struggle too. Thanks for your support.

Hanna - it's really so hard, isn't it? I can't afford a mechanic, but I'm lucky the shops etc are in walking distance, and town is a bike ride away (weather permitting!). I'm worried how i'm going to get to placement, when they allocate me another one.

Paws - I had the loveliest catch up with my friend this morning. She's a beautiful human being, and I love talking with her. She also gifted me some oracle cards, which look like fun.

Wondering whether anyone has been to GROW? I've been thinking about it for a very long time. I braved an online introduction session today, and it in itself was pretty great. Similar to the concept of AA, and the woman who shared testimony today has experienced profound changes, and I'm feeling inspired. There's regular face to face meets here and I'm hoping I'll brave going next week (eek).

Big thanks and hugs to all for being here. Please always feel welcome to pop by (anyone and all!).

Katy xo

Hanna3 · ‎21-05-2021

Hi Katy,

Gosh I've had a busy couple of days here, phew. I also have some major computer problems and it seems my hard drive is on the way out, and as I can't afford a replacement PC if I disappear from here for a while that will be the reason!!

One of the major reasons I left coastal town was because all major facilities were a two hundred dollar taxi drive away... the nearest big town was at 100km/hour drive up the highway... so if you didn't have a car it was really tough. So good to hear everything is in walking distance - would someone give you a lift to placement, or is a short taxi drip each way do-able?

I am fortunate I haven't needed any mh help for a couple of decades now, the odd anxiety attack is manageable... so I don't know anything about GROW I'm sorry - but if it seemed helpful it'd say give it a go by all means!

Glad you had a nice time out with your friend she sounds good!

Sorry I can't stay on for long I am tired out after a full on couple of days... but let us know how you go. Any idea what is wrong with the car?

Hugs.

Paw Prints · ‎27-05-2021

Hello Katy,

Did you manage to attend the GROW meeting this week or is it still in the maybe basket? I had to google it as I had not heard of it... not something I could manage being in a room with strangers...

I'm glad you had a lovely catch up with your friend... Have you managed to meet up with the lass you sometimes walk with or has Stormy had you undivided attention on your walks?

Sorry but I had to chuckle at you saying on Hanna's that it has been cold where you are... I just saw the weather map... low 20s are not considered cold in this neck of the woods... it's t-shirt weather with a sun hat.... actually I do get that with the clear skies the nights do get very frosty & the mornings are nippy & do take a bit to warm up...

I was wondering if you could get a centrelink loan/advance to pay for your car repair... it's not good for you lass having the worry about it on top of everything else...

You might be interested to know... the tiny houses near you will be open to the public to look about on Saturday... the ABC article didn't say what the hours will be...

Woofa sends friendly slobbers... hugs from me

Paws

Hanna3 · ‎27-05-2021

Hi Katy,

I wonder if a mechanic, if you have used them before, would be prepared to do a minor repair for you and perhaps let you make a couple of payments to pay it off.... is there any way of knowing what is wrong with the car? Any chance it may not be something too costly? Just some random thoughts...

The tiny houses in your area were on the ABC tonight and I was impressed at how good they look - just a shame there are only 3 of them... they are meant to be interim places for people to stay before being offered a public housing place. .. just shows how inadequate public housing is - they were interviewing a woman, not that young in your area who had been living in her car. Dreadful.

It reached about 11 degrees here today but that wasn't taking the wind chill into account - I was going to get Sam clipped next week but i've cancelled it partly due to lack of money and partly because he needs a thick coat especially in this freezing cold house with no insulation... it's awful.

Anyway I hope Uni is going OK... my music teacher has borrowed a dvd on Kurt Cobain from me... I got it off someone else... we did a little music and a lot of chatting... but that was nice.

I've been listening to School of Life videos (Alain de Botton) and also some Jordan Peterson - who they say is an ultra conservative but I do find he also speaks a great deal of common sense and is interesting. The talks that are available on Utube are great.

Hugs from us here oxoxoxo