Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Hanna

Perhaps little Sam is drained from the heat and just needs to rest even when it has cooled. How is he today? It must be horrible enduring the weather that you get there, without any aircon. I really wish Housing would hurry up!

We're in for 3 days of wind, which is just annoying. But the temp is still hovering around 30. I've been to the beach again this morning with my brother and nephew, which was lovely despite the wind. This evening is my fave - outdoor yoga yay! Not sure how we'll manage holding poses in the wind, but it might just add a bit of fun to the mix.

I also went to the Salvos and bought another book (plus ordered one on ebay, and put one on hold at the library lol), so I've quite the reading pile happening. Your book sounds lovely. I'm glad you've settled on something that you're enjoying. And yes, I really need to lose the covid kilos too, but I've just snacked half a bag of lollies while writing this - oops!

Well, time for some reading while I wait for uni to ring about my next placement (so nervous!!!).

Salty skinned, jelly belly hugs from the west xo

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy, you sound like you've had a pretty good day, yay! It's about 34 here with hot westerly winds blowing and more tomorrow...

Yep Sam and I both are wilted from the heat today,.... no walks for him or me this evening - it's cooler outside on the grass in the shade than inside this house too...

Sounds like you're having some good Uni holiday reads! I'm off to cool Sam down with a spray bottle...

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Stupid swirling mush of thoughts. Hate days like today. Just don't wanna do anything - even read. Annoying.

Yoga was gorgeous last night. Small class, lots of people walking by with dogs and kids, wind in the trees, beautiful cloud formations... so much better outdoors.

I've booked kitty in with my vet next week, and Storm for the end of month.

How's Sam today, Hanna? How's the house cleaning coming along?

Maybe I'm sliding thinking about uni? Probably...

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy,

Lass do you think the way you are feeling today may be because kitty being ill has brought feelings of loss to the surface... then add in the uni nerves... & suddenly everything seems hard... do be gentle with yourself... days like this are horrible... but remember lass they do pass.

It's good to hear you enjoyed going to yoga yesterday... I love how you enjoyed all the added things that came with it... the clouds... trees etc... perhaps if you try getting outdoors today... even if it's just sitting in your garden... it might help lessen the blah feelings...

It's lovely here today (apart from the wind) a balmy 15 with bursts of rain & a strong wind coming straight off the south pole... the only down with this weather is I can see the grass growing as I watch... Woofa is enjoying the cooler weather just not the wet stuff.

Huggliest of hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

I haven't been on BB today until now - busy day and a house inspection looming... it's all go here...

I wonder if you're like this because you had company for a while and now maybe you don't? So you've gone flat again? I hope you went to the beach or did something nice. What about that friend you meet up with from time to time.. maybe a coffee out with her?

Fluffy hugs from little Sam to you dear lady xooxoxo

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello 🙂

Another perfectly sunny WA day, albeit windy. I've been to indoor yoga - pushed myself to go and enjoyed it. Got out of my head for most of the session, and even had a giggle with the lady next to me when I couldn't balance to hold the poses (she could!). That felt nice. Then I went and bought myself a cute new casual outfit.

Really need to do housework and tidy the yard, but maybe I'll read outside with a book and ignore it all.

How's things in your part of the world? More weird wonderful weather? Although, 15 and rain showers actually sounds pretty nice.

(Wish I could get back to that good mental space again. It felt nice, and "normal". I always feel incredibly lonely in this space. Even when I'm around people.)

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

Buying a new outfit sounds good therapy to me! I've been busy doing the housework/laundry/shopping/walking the dog/tidying the garden today - inspection Thursday but it's going to be a hot week so I'd rather do most of it now... cold here down to 10 degrees last night and a cold wind blowing today, hot from tomorrow on, what a crazy summer it is.

Busy organising more music lessons, weekly with guitar and Celtic harp fortnightly with the teacher a friend of a friend of mine, he's lovely, so will be busy end January! Filling my life with harp music and guitar music seems a pretty nice thing to do to me...

Sam tired after extra long walk and I'm whacked after all the laundry/bed making etc etc etc. Time to put the feet up and relax...

You've changed your profile pic.. I did like the first one, or ones of Stormy... but it's always good to have a change isn't it? Hope you have picked up today. Cheers!

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Hanna

Sounds like you've been super busy! Have you managed to get everything done for your inspection so you can relax now? And yes, I think filling your life with music sounds pretty wonderful, and with your eye issues something that you will always be able to enjoy regardless. Good on you.

How's Sam today? My lot are all going well. I took Stormy for a nice swim yesterday. The water was choppy because of the wind and I wasn't sure she'd want to swim, but she did - brave girl. I threw a stick for her and she retrieved it and then set about eating the entire thing. So weird. The vet doesn't think it's problematic but it's so weird to watch lol. Does Sam like sticks? Or fetching things?

30 degrees and windy here again, which is the norm of late. Means I can't take my board out. Not sure what I'll do. Still feeling unmotivated, so I've set a goal of reading a chapter of a book, and doing at least a tiny bit of housework.

Hope your day is going ok. Katy

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

It's getting hotter here. Sounds like Stormy had fun eating the stick.. Sam likes going after things I throw for him, but after getting them he refuses to bring them back to me! He's very quiet and tired today, I'm a bit worried about him - he's still sleeping on the bed, he usually has an afternoon kip down, but he's not himself. How is kitty?

I am going to buy a copy of Tiny Beautiful Things, the book gives such good advice. Have been loving reading it.

The guy who will teach me harp has an amazing background in the French Foreign Legion and I met him at my musical friend's house almost a year ago now! Gosh. He seems really nice, my friend said I will find him inspirational, which sounds interesting! I now he's mostly lived overseas...

I am making a list of things I need to swim regularly - there's a big indoor/outdoor swim centre here and I haven't yet been to it, but little Sam is tiring too easily on our walks and I am not doing enough exercise and I need to lose about 5 kilos - so I thought I'd take up lap swimming again. I guess I've been used to having the ocean nearby but when I lived inland before I stayed very fit by lap swimming at a pool regularly, so tomorrow i am off to buy cap, kickboard, goggles etc etc etc and brave the water sometime this week I hope.

Yes the house looks amazing now I've cleaned and tidied everything, phew!

I've been listening to Ed Sheeran on Utube, my music teacher likes him, I like Perfect and Afterglow - he's a clever young guy and worth millions now. Nice guitar music!

I hope your afternoon is going OK... I am going to check on little Sam he's still sleeping...

hugsxoxo

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Hanna, everyone

How's little Sam today? It's warm with a storm brewing off the coast, so my furs are all lying about lazily today. I've been lazy too and sat on the couch and finished my book - loved it! Such a great read. I was really drawn to that book for some reason, and I'm so glad I went and hunted it down.

Well it sounds like you'll have two lovely, interesting men to chat to, between guitar and harp lessons. How nice for you! Now... where can I find a lovely, interesting man? *sigh*

My brother and nephew picked me up yesterday for a swim at the beach. It was totally flat and actually just nice to float about on a boogie board in the gorgeous clear waters. A shame you don't have a beach close by, but the pool will be nice. A great exercise idea that you can do in all weather. We actually had all the beaches closed the day prior, due to shark sightings. My brother was trying to make something of it, but I think if you look for sharks, you find them. We didn't use to actively keep surveillance the way they do now.

I see you and Paws have been discussing travel over on your thread. (I can never decide whether to talk to you here or there lol). But I'm very jealous having never travelled. I was a young single mum, and then developed anxiety that stops me wanting to go too far from home, so I've never really had the opportunity. If I was well, I've always thought I'd go to Barcelona. I'd love to see La Sagrada Familia. But there's many places I'd love to see. Poland, given that my family originated there, for one. Maybe one day I'll be well again. Is there anywhere you'd love to travel, that you haven't been?

Well, off to Bunnings to buy more plant shelving. I've had to bring plants in under the shade to stop them burning, but I'm running out of room to walk! Then I might see how the weather is looking in a bit, and if I can take Storm out on the board to cool her off.

Hope all's going ok your way. Toasty hugs, Katy