Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

A skate then chill sounds like a plan.... I'm just up at noon, had a completely lazy morning in bed, it was nice and cool with the fan blowing and little Sam was so tired when I got home yesterday (he'd been home alone in the heat) that I was scared, so he has had a long long sleep on top of the bed with the breeze from the fan gently ruffling his ears... nice. Little animals are sensible in hot weather - they just sleep through it!

My plan was to take myself out for a coffee at the sidewalk place later today but wow it's fierce heat today so I'll see how we go....

I hope kitty is OK, eating some food definitely sounds good, you might be right if kitty liked the soft food perhaps the teeth are a problem? We do worry about our beloved pets as they get older don't we.

Sounds like a rough day with squished boobies and Uni stuff etc etc - have a chill out day sounds good to me. Well it's lunch time and I'm just having brekkie - gosh I never do this I feel guilty... a morning in bed - but it's nice to have a long rest sometimes!

Have a great day, cheers!

[Hanna3]

Katy, here's a question for you... the youngish dentist I saw yesterday told me most of their work now is cosmetic dentistry so people can look good - he said social media, selfies, facebook etc.. it's all about appearances. Recently my young woman GP told me most women who see her have had plastic surgery. I was gobsmacked..

You're younger than me... can you tell me if this is a preoccupation amongst people around your age? I can't bear the women Trump is surrounded by - they've all had so much work done.. I wonder what's really there underneath it all...

So just wondered if you've come across this fashion for looking good, perfect teeth and smile, botox etc etc etc??? Cheers.

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

Long, stressful day, will reply tomorrow. Hope you're going ok. Katy

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Hanna, all 🙂

Bit of a schmozzle of a visit to the vets yesterday. I was there for 2 hours (don't ask!). But there are indications that kitty is in renal failure. It's a matter of seeing what happens now. Not good news, but realistically, he is elderly. The vet was a little surprised I cried at the thought of losing him, but I don't know why. Our pets are our family, and after so much loss, I'm not ready for more.

I think it's wonderful you allowed yourself a restful morning in bed! No need to feel guilty when performing some self care. I'm sure the weather wears both of you out. What a pity they haven't hurried with the airon!

I'm attending a community meeting this afternoon about the tiny houses. Apparently some people aren't too impressed with the lack of community consultation prior to the development getting underway. I don't know where people think social housing should be located - the answer always seems to be "somewhere else". I think it will be interesting to sit in on a discussion where people talk about how people like me (social housing tenants) are problematic and bring down the value of the surrounding properties.

In regard to your questions about cosmetic surgery/teeth etc, it's not so prevalent in my age group - mid 40's. But definitely common amongst the younger generation. So many beauticians offer injectables etc, and I'm sure it's the whole social media thing, as you've said. I did see a story though about how there was a huge increase in cosmetic surgery when covid meant everyone was meeting over Zoom. On Zoom you're spending more time looking at yourself, and a lot of people decided they were unhappy with the way they looked, and decided to get "fixed up". Interesting side effect to the pandemic!

Well, I feel quite tired. Not sure what to do with myself today. Maybe a trip to the library...

Hope your day is nice. Katy

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

I logged on here before going to a doctor's appointment so apologies this post will be shorter than I'd like, I'll check in again later on this evening... so sorry to hear about Kitty can they do anything to help in the meantime? What was the vet's advice? I don't suppose you had anyone with you, and getting bad news about your pet on your own (I've been there) is tough. I will definitely check in again later on to see how you're going.

I've had to put up with all those comments about public housing tenants too, it's horrible.. let them know that older single women are a huge cohort of the homeless now and we are mostly very nice and it's scary for us... & unpleasant to have to hear these things said about us. Sure there are some bad people in public housing, but there are bad people in private rentals or home owners too!

Again, sorry you are having a rough day, I'll come by again later... you take care and many hugs from us both here xoxoxo

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Hanna

Thanks for your understanding. It is hard to cope with these things alone. Kitty has had treatment that will hopefully help in the short term, but the longer term prognosis is not good. So, wait and see. I don't want to imagine not having him here, but I think it will feel odd also to have just my girl cat here. They're a pair, and I imagine she'll feel lost too. Anyway, best not to think about it.

I've been at the beach and the park with my brother and nephew this morning, which was a nice distraction. Now I'm trying to muster the energy to go to the library. Things always seem harder when you're weighed down with worry. Such a picture perfect day though here, so that's something.

Hope everything is ok with you (you're at the dr). Is it your back, or something else? Thanks for the much needed hugs, and hugs right back. Katy

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy,

I'm sorry to hear about kitty... it doesn't matter how long we have our furs it's never long enough. Of course you cried at the thought of losing him... you love him. Your vet could have been more empathetic...

Gentlest of hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

Do you have two cats? Sorry I didn't realise. I know how awful it is to get bad news about a much loved pet on your own, really that is when you desperately need someone kind by your side.. Your kitty is a good age, so perhaps see how things go... sometimes animals can rally amazingly well - lots of love and cuddles are the best thing you can give them... they respond to love so much. I worry myself sick about little Sam often, as he's not getting younger and he is so tired with the hot days... I would be at wit's end without him..

I keep thinking i must plan ahead for that (would love to have another dog or at least cat). I don't think I could be totally alone again. I'm so glad you have the other kitty and Stormy!

I'm glad you got out a bit with company today. Did you get to the meeting about the tiny houses???

I'm home late (GP visit was just a check thank you, all OK) & I'm off to get some dinner.. do let me and Paws know how you and kitty are going, OK?

Don't think ahead too far... your loved cat might be OK for quite some time yet. Did the vet give any specific advice?

Sending you soft fluffy hugs and cuddles from little Sam oxoxoxo

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Paws, Hanna, all

Yes, I wasn't a fan of this vet. I couldn't get in to see my usual one, but I will book a follow up appointment with her to discuss where to go from here. Unfortunately with both cats being elderly, and Storm with her medical issues, I have been conscious it's only a matter of time...

The tiny house meeting tonight was interesting, and feisty! The concerns over the lack of community consultation or even provision of information was a fair call, but there was also an undue amount of prejudice, I thought. Realistically, it's 3 single people, vetted for suitability for the programme, and with wrap around supports in place. As I thought may be the case, there was a lot of "why here?" getting thrown about. Many people walked out in disgust before the meeting was over. I stayed to express my support and excitement for the project, to the CEO of the organisation in charge. Glad I went.

Also got to the library and got out 2 self help books, and 2 novels, and bought a copy of Treasure Island from the book store, as it was what we had planned on reading to my little sprite girl while she was still in utero, and I found a copy with a pretty cover. How are you going finding something to read, Hanna? You were going through a rough patch finding something you liked.

Hugs from me and my sleepy pack of furs xo

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

We do worry about our beloved pets. Sam is so tired from the heat I am really anxious about him - he's limp to pick up, and I tried to give him a walk he loves yesterday late when it had cooled down and he lay down and didn't want to go... He's still on my bed with the fan going, sleeping, and today is meant to get close to 40, with more days ahead. So I understand only too well how worried you are about your furry ones.

Treasure Island is a wonderful book, how nice to read it in memory of Zea! Did I spell that correctly, apols if I didn't, I remember she had a pretty but unusual name... I am reading Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed, which is advice about life and relationships from the Dear Sugars program and it's just lovely.

I'm glad you spoke up about the houses.. people expect the worst but most people are just poor and often elderly in public housing... there are so many homeless women it's a shame people still have such an attitude towards it.. good on your for saying something.

I wanted to go for a long walk early as I need to lose 5 kg (I thought so and the GP yesterday confirmed it) but i think my job today is to look after little Sam and keep him as comfy as I can...

You take care,hugs.