Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

I've got wifi again, hooray! I've been so missing internet for the last couple of days! Glad to hear you got to the beach. Sounds nice. How is kitty cat?

I have been running around doing enrolment for music lessons, have to go to the library soon to copy documents and it's so hot.. technician was coming today to fix up the meter for the solar panels (no aircon in sight though and a heatwave ahead) - he came this morning too... my neighbour has been over to chat as her husband is very ill - and I have a Housing inspection Thursday, the hairdresser tomorrow, eeeek. What a week! Plus running to the computer repair shop today..

You are in your forties somewhere.. I remember that as a great age for meeting nice guys! Yes I have two lovely ones to chat to now... harp is starting late, first week in Feb, as it hit the Australia Day holiday next week - as the weather is so hot, that suits me. I remember when I met Martyn he had a great laugh and sense of humour, which is good! I don't even know what nationality he is, having been in the French Foreign Legion.. The guitar teacher and I share similar interests and sense of humour - I think he is going through a bad marriage breakup.. maybe we can both enjoy our lessons for the laugh and break in all the yuk things going on in our lives!

You are very active so I would try activities that active guys might do - when I was a younger thing (much younger) a friend and I went on bushwalking activites to meet guys - and I met one of the major men in my life as he was a guide on one walk.. Or what about a local gym? Or at the beach? There must be some nice men around there!

Anyway I wanted to come by and say hi, this would be longer except this week is such a rush... so sending hugs and hope kitty is OK... take care oxoxo

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Hanna

No internet? How awful! Sounds like a huge for week for you, so glad you could pop in.

I took Storm out on the board yesterday evening at the beach (which dogs aren't allowed at - but she was on the board so...) and it was SO LOVELY! But as quite often happens I've a migraine today as a result. I have poor shoulders and the paddling does me in, darn it!

Loved your message. Enjoy your pamper at the hairdressers tomorrow x

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello anyone...

I got accepted into the Honours program 🙂 I'm going to celebrate with a giant pink lamington - my favourite ❤️

Sending coconut crumb covered kind, caring thoughts into the universe for everyone x

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

That's great, I thought it was a foregone conclusion.. but good that you heard for sure. I didn't know if you had decided to continue studying or not. Should be an interesting year but lots of work! Enjoy the lamington!

I have about 50 documents to supply for music bursary so am off to the library to copy them all.. eeeek.

oxoxox

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy,

Congratulations lass!!! What great news... definitely deserves a giant pink lamington or 2.

Big Bear Hugs [[🐻]]

Paws

[Hanna3]

Phew, what a day - I'm finally back at 8pm....

What do you think you want to do after Honours Katy? Go on to more study or have you given any thought to what work would suit you? There was an article on The Guardian online recently by a social work student who coudn't get work - I meant to tell you about it and forgot. Apparently things are tough for social workers out there, although I would have thought with the pandemic there would have been a need for them? Would be interested in your experience? Anyway good on you. Cheers!

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi again

Thank you both for your support! Honours was competitive and dependant on supervisor availability to determine number of spots. Now I just need to accept, but first I want to talk to my psych tomorrow and get her thoughts. I'm not sure if Honours plus another lot of prac is too much stress to take on. I'm not sure what I want to do in the future either. I haven't heard of anyone here not finding work. Most people don't get job roles specifically labelled social worker, but requiring social work skills or qualifications. I always thought I'd end up in aged care, but there are so many different areas you can go into. My anxiety, however, is a spanner in the works, so I'm not going to think that far ahead anyway. I have to jump higher hurdles than I did in prac 1 and that near did me in! I'm not guaranteed to pass...

How did you go with your bursary application? Get it all sorted?

I see on your thread you're worried about Sam in the heat, Hanna? It's difficult trying to weigh up his physical and mental needs. How much would he fret without you? Is the aircon you do have not managing to cool things down enough to be comfortable? I bought a cooling mat for Storm today. She seems to like it enough. I wonder how a cooling mat plus fan/aircon might work? It's a tricky situation and I hate that you have to make such a difficult choice. That's being poor though, right? I think about that a lot.

Hope you and Woofa are keeping well over your way, Paws. I wonder if you've managed to tick any of the tasks off your list, or you've been a bit relaxed like me today? 🙂

Hugs, Katy

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy,

I think talking to your psych before deciding is a good idea... one thing to keep in mind... the people at the uni watched the struggles you have had until now... yet they still believe in your ability to complete Honours... they have chosen you as being a better candidate than all the other applicants. That says a lot about what strengths they saw in you... even if you struggle to see them

The important thing is to remember is doing Honours isn't necessary to the work you are thinking of doing... unlike the studies you have done until now... so if you think of it as being the cherry on top of the cake... it is nice to have... but the cake is still good without it. I think the question isn't should you do it... rather would you come to regret not having tried?

I wish I could say I have managed to tick of even the smallest item on my list, but I haven't... my mood is still low... I've spent the month so far moving from my bed to the couch & back... I have finally decided where my raised vegetable garden will go... (raised to keep Woofa off it)... & how I will fill it... it will be my compost heap for the next few years... I will have lots of garden waste to mulch & fill it when I finally start gardening.

I'm glad you are managing to get out on the water with Storm... I had a chuckle at your reading of rules... taking her her paddle boarding off a no dog beach... yep sounds right to me.

Hugs

Paws

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy, gosh you have a lot to think about, I hope your pysch is helpful today. Good on you for getting accepted to the Hons programme no matter what happens.

I would think what importance does the Hons have for you - are you thinking of continuing to a PhD? Will it help you re jobs/work? As Paws says, will you regret not trying?

I did a Graduate Diploma which meant an Hons wasn't necessary to go on to PhD. I was encouraged to do my doctorate but decided against it for a lot of reasons. I am mixed whether I did the right thing or not. At the time it meant moving to another city to study at the best university... there was no guarantee of a job at the end of it. I really don't know if my life would have been better, or if the load of three years of tough study would have led to anything at all.. maybe just unemployment!

I think just decide what you are most comfortable with.

I wish I had more time to talk but I'll try to come on later... I''m rushed this morning.. whatever you decide it's not irreversible.. good luck!

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Good appointment until the last ten minutes when she asked how I'm going working on my self-esteem, and I started bawling. I can't quite work out why it's got me in a pickle. I've come home feeling all panicky and not right. I don't like it.