Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy

How is your cat, poor thing. I hope she hasn't had any more fits. Sam used to get occasional fits in hot weather when we lived on the coast, it's so frightening when that happens!

I'm sorry when I posted before I missed where you mentioned it..

I'm wondering if it's partly the hot weather to blame, it's hard for the animals.

I got Sam a cool mat from Bunnings, I think I paid about $20 for a large one, and he loves it and stays on it as much as possible. I wonder if Stormy would like one...

Let us know how you go with the vet.

I'm sorry you've been having a rough time lately. Poor old you, time for some good things to happen.

Hugs 💖🐕🍀💝

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

Another stressful day yesterday, as Stormy had a very red sore eye. The vet told me last time that she has eyelashes growing the wrong way and scratching her eyeball. He plucked them out under anaesthetic, but said it will happen again when they grow back. I just really can’t afford all the ongoing vet bills. Her eye looks less red this morning and she’s not closing it, so perhaps we’re ok for now.

As for kitty, she seems ok and hasn’t fitted again. We’re in a cooler period so the weather isn’t a problem. And we do have a cool mat, not that anyone uses it, but it’s always out for them. It’s such a worry when they’re not well, and then not having money just adds to the stress. Ho hum …

We had higher case numbers in WA yesterday, so I’m continuing to keep to myself. Today I might finish the weeding I started yesterday, and read some more of my book. I still can’t get into my shed for the wasps- I don’t want to harm them. Apparently when the weather cools they’ll go. Did you do anything about your bees, Hanna?

Im reading Cloud Cuckoo Land, if anyones read it. It’s a bit fantastical, which isn’t usually my thing, and 3 stories interwoven, also not my thing, but the overarching theme of man’s violence towards nature, women and non-human species is my thing, and it’s all superbly written.

I hope everyone is going ok and treating themselves kindly this weekend. Hugs to all x

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

Sam and I both had a rest day yesterday we were both so tired after some hectic days, and looks like two weeks of full on heatwave ahead after days of cool weather, rats.

I feel your pain about the vet bills, I have the same problem and it's stressful. I hope Stormy's eye is still OK now.

I haven't heard of that book, I've been reading The Coddling of the American Mind, How good intentions and bad ideas are setting up a generation for failure. It's by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt. A friend on the coast recommended it to me and I think it's excellent food for thought. I'm also reading a great old Australian classic, I for Isobel by Amy Witting, it's brilliant.

I have had no solution about the bees as they are in the neighbour's garden and he wont do anything about them, the council said it is entirely up to him, so even though they are attacking and stinging sam and me, we can't do anything about them. The laws are ridiculous at times. Mostly now I take him out the front yard on a lead. So much for enjoying the back garden.

I hope you are getting to the beach there and out and about. It's amazing the things you can't buy here due to covid - I got Sam a new collar but you can't buy a lead anywhere - tried to buy some new underwear but there is none available in the shops. Canned fruit is still difficult to find. Ah well.

Have as good a day as you can there. Hugs. oxoxoxoxo

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy,

I know you had your vet visit for kitty this week...

Just wanted to send you gentle hugs

Paws

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello

I didn’t end up going go to the vet. Kitty has been fine, as has Storm, and I’m reluctant going out and about atm. But thanks for thinking of me x

We’ve had some restrictions introduced here due to rising case numbers. Hopefully it won’t affect my fellow students graduating next weekend. I’ll be watching the live stream online, which will be exciting. This weekend I’m thesis editing, ready for sending off for hopeful publication in a journal. That’s also exciting. Fingers crossed it gets accepted.

Hanna, I get what you mean about random things not being available. Food here is an ongoing issue as the rail network got flooded, and problems due to covid already meant food shortages. I’ve just done my third online order crossing my fingers for cheese lol. The last two I got none, and I’m not running around town looking for it. Dog food was supposed to come this week, but didn’t arrive either. Ho hum.

Hope all’s well in the east. Not so overseas where war is imminent, and a storm of destruction has rained down on Northern Europe. Strange times…

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

I'm glad you can watch the graduation on live stream at least. Do you pick up your degree later from the Uni? Then you can get it framed!

It's very hot here, summer is going out with a blast. Supplies have improved but most specialised dog foods are almost impossible to get, tinned fruit sometimes hard, fresh fruit and veggie prices through the roof, maybe that's due to petrol costs I don't know.. petrol is through the roof too. It's hard on a pension. I did get talking to a guy who worked in transportation, he said everything is stuck in containers somewhere and the people who work transporting stuff, truck drivers, wharf labourers, are getting sick or isolation, so stuff can't be moved.

Glad the furs are OK. Little Sam is feeling the heat. I had an hour's swim at the aquatic centre today, aiming to do that 3 times a week, it's good to be back swimming, I've always swum a lot but for nearly two years now it's been closed here due to covid, so now I have 3 vaxxes I am pretty safe there in chlorinated water. It feels good, I like zonining out while I lap swim.

Good news about your thesis. We had a fun discussion at the dog park this arvo, as a guy in the pool probably about 40 called me Darlin, which I don't like, most of the women agreed we wouldn't call an older man Darlin. It was an interesting talk with some very smart women! Meanwhile the dogs lay around in the shade on the ground, it was too hot to run around.

I'm debating whether to go back to Tai Chi again. I tried yoga once long ago, but the woman put me into a downward dog so much I slipped a disc in my spine and have never recovered fully, so that put me off yoga for life, but I used to do Tai Chi, so I may go back to that... Not enough women seem to do enough exercise here...

Things re the virus seem to be settling down here, masks indoors and I will keep doing that, and we prefer to meet outdoors.. the pool is silly as you wear a mask in and out, but naturally swim without, which is when you are taking big breaths!! It's a relief to have things opening up normally after such long shut downs for two years now... It's been dreary.

Hugs to the furs, and I hope you got out into the sea today. Must go and feed little Sam, he's exhausted after meeting up again with all the other furs. oxoxoxoxoxo

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy,

I'm so pleased to hear that Kitty has been going better... it is hard as our furs age & like us have more ailments as a result...

It looks like you are getting another long spell of hot weather... I know Perth usually gets a sea breeze in the afternoon... do you get anything similar where you are?...

I hope you have been able to take Stormy to the beach so you both get out & have some fun together... especially as you try to adjust to all the new covid rules...

Woofa & I are keeping our paws & fingers crossed that your thesis is accepted... do you have any idea how long it will be after you submit it until you know?

Nose bops from his woofiness & hugs from me

Paws

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi Hanna, Paws, all

Uni grad tomorrow, and it’s lovely hearing my friends all excited. I should get my certificate in the next fortnight - can’t wait! As for my article, I’m not sure how long that process takes. It may be accepted outright, accepted subject to amendments, or rejected - in which case it will then get submitted to a different journal.

Sadly, my other kitty left us yesterday. I don’t really feel ok about it, and couldn’t sleep last night. I couldn’t afford the ongoing medical treatment she required, and feel like a rubbish human for it. It’s a different decision when $ are factored in, and I’ll need to make peace with it somehow. Also, it feels weird here now. Empty.

That aside, some of my succulents have been loving all this hot weather, and I have some really interesting flowers on display. One is called huernia zebrina if you feel like googling - it’s another of the rotten meat smelling variety, but a fascinating little flower!

Hugs to all, Katy

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

I'm glad you can at least watch the graduation ceremony live! Is there any catch up with Uni friends afterwards? It would be nice if you could go to that, if there is.

I am so sorry to hear about Kitty. I don't know how old she/he was, but that is such a hard decision to have to make, and as you say, draws on our feelings of guilt/inadequacy/being poor/love/what is best for our pet... stuff. I am fearful of that with little Sam, and the quiet house too... our pets give us wonderful companionship.

After a time of grieving, would you consider another kitty? Maybe a rescue one - the vet here has little kittens all the time that are unwanted, and you can purchase them much more affordably than from anywhere else. I love watching them play when I go in to the vets, and I feel sorry for them in big cages instead of in a loving home.

So enjoy tomorrow, and think yourself there if you can!!! Sending big hugs, and do let us know how the day goes tomorrow won't you?

And don't punish yourself about Kitty - we always decide what is best for our pets, we love them so much - prolonged expensive treatment may still have resulted in a less than optimal life for her... such difficult decisions to make on our own, and when finances come into it, it's even worse. I am sure you have done the right thing.

oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[Paw Prints]

Hello Katy

Here is a gentle comforting hug lass.

Lass there can be no guarantee that the treatment would have helped kitty or... given her age... that she would have lasted much longer even with it... you gave her 18 odd years of love & care... that counts...

Try to be gentle with yourself

Paws