Not in a good space

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?

[calmseeker]

Oh Katy girl, my heart sank for you when I read your last post, I am so very sorry this has happened. You were doing so well trying to cope with what was already a terrible situation and now this! It seems to be yet another sordid layer just to kick you when you are down and you don't deserve it.

That friend you mentioned in a recent post, the one who went for a walk with you and Stormy, is she/he available to give you some company ? I ask because I think it would be good to have someone around for you right now. I wish I could come help you today in real life. Use the helplines today or vent it out here or write it down but you need to purge this out.

By the time my ex split up with me, he had already been seeing someone for a few years and I remember the sickening feeling of shock and hurt I felt when I found out. I hear you questioning yourself about why it hurts you so much now, and it hurts because youre a good person who wasn't cheating and lying and honestly invested in the relationship. I know its not good right now to hear that he didn't deserve you but I'll say it anyway, he really didn't deserve such a sweet girl like yourself.

I have some choice words about your ex but they would never pass the mods so I will leave to imagine what I would say. They are really rude ones so make sure you imagine the worst ones possible. I really cant stand pig males who are still dragging their knuckles.

Sending you hugs which I wish I could give to you in person.

CS xo

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

You're beautiful people, and I thank you for being here. I hope you're all going ok x

I did need to share, but I don't want to talk/think about it any more. (Wish I could erase all this). Your support was lovely and much needed to help me just try and manage my feelings, and keep going.

I am still at uni. I'm so far behind and it's a stress fest. I'm hoping I can somehow just pass at this point - grades be damned o_O

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy, it's good to see you back! You're a good student so I'm sure you will pass OK. I'm OK, a bit chilly, the gas leak will take a long time to sort out, Sam is OK but feeling the cold. You've been missed on my thread! You take care of yourself and come by if/when you can.

And remember, next you know to find a man who is kind! KIND! Which is what you deserve.

Sam sends furry soft little hugs and big ones from me xxxOOO hugs!

[calmseeker]

So happy to see the picture of your Stormy pop up on the forums! I had been wondering how you are doing.

What interesting topics have you been delving into at uni lately? I wonder if its anything that my chimp brain can understand? lol

You sound busy, and that might be a good thing.

How have you been doing your yoga lately, zoom, by yourself, socially distanced class?

Sending warm thoughts your way - CS xo

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello lovelies 🙂

So stressed and disorganised I forgot to attend my weekly zoom lecture yesterday - oh dear! I'm just finishing up my essay on mandatory detention of asylum seekers, then I need to get on to the next 4 big assessment pieces looming o_O

I will be needing my yoga to zen my way through this uphill slog! My yoga instructor is still uploading online videos. Even though the rules are relaxed to (I think) 10 people in a class, she doesn't want to start up again until June. She has a bubba, so probably fair enough 🙂

OK time to crack on. I hope you're all well. Sending huggy warm thoughts back at you xo

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy (and hi CS, Paws, everyone)

Sounds like you are doing well there girl! What a hard slog - reminds me why I didn't want to do another Uni course!!! Give yourself a pat on the back for finishing one assignment, have a break, you're getting there!

Thanks so much for telling me about Verto, they've been a huge help to me here.

Hang in there lady, just do what you can, a pass is all you need.

Hi Calmseeker how are you going?

Pats to Storm who I hope is well Katy.

Sending you positive vibes from here xoxoxoxo

[Guest_1643]

Hey Katie

Hope you get zen inspiration from your yoga teacher

that sounds really soothing. Could be nice to join from home.
I remember having a million assignments and struggling to breath. Dog pats and good yoga sound very wise.
I think I used to just binge watch tv under my blanket lol.

Keep healthy and happy... good luck with all the uni work, one by one...

[Hanna3]

Katy, I meant to say you could ask for an extension on essays etc on compassionate grounds - the university staff are usually helpful to a good student and will usually oblige - might give you some breathing space. Just a thought. Sending hugs xoxo

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hello 🙂

Well I spent yesterday under a blanket netflixing, Sleepy, so I can totally relate to that! My poor mind was too tired to do anything productive.

Hanna, thanks for the suggestion. I did get a couple of extensions last year, but I rather not ask unless desperate. I'll see how I go for now. Today I'm going to start working on my community project plan. I decided on a community garden as a means of supplementing the food bank, as I've heard they often don't have fresh fruit and vegetables available for people on low incomes. It will also (hypothetically of course) fill a social void for people who want to come and participate in the goings on in the garden. Hopefully I mark better on this one than my last project!

It's a lovely sunny, but cool, day here and I may take the board out later. I was just about to get organised to go out this morning, but realised it's only 14 degrees and may be a tad too cold to be out on the water!

Hope everyone's well. Thanks for being here x

[Hanna3]

Hi Katy,

Netflixing and going out on the beach sound like great ideas to me - time to chill out!

The community garden is a good idea. Where I lived before, people from the community garden used to give free talks to members of the public about how and what vegetables to grow at home etc - they had a hall which was free for them to hire and once a month they'd give these information sessions - so that was another great community idea!

Glad to hear you're taking care of yourself in between assignments! I binged on two movies on SBS movies last night, I could hardly keep my eyes open but they were both so good! Take care dear lady xoxoxo