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Not in a good space

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
It's like a feeling just bubbling up to the surface. It's panicky and disgusting and I dont' know what to do with it. There's no thoughts associated with it. It's a feeling. A really gross one. I called the Suicide Call Back service. I didn't find them helpful. What do you do? What helps you?
1,405 Replies 1,405

Hi Katy,

it's been a while. just commenting on your last post. that feeling is horrible. can you get out and possibly do something . distraction can be so beneficial. even get out to a local library and get a book related yo your study . just do something to get out of your head for a while and reset.

as for those support groups ,they are definatly worth a shot. nothing to lose really . I tried on when my anxiety was unbearable and it went well.

Take care


Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hello you beautiful amazing people x

Today I feel ok, and by that I mean just regular sad, not panicky unsafe sad. Such a scary place to be and I'm super grateful for all of you for your support and kind words. I read all your messages many times over while I tried to find my way back to a better space.

Someone said some really hurtful things to me, and I ended up in this downward spiral, because I have trouble regulating my emotions. Funnily I was reading about it for my uni work the other day - one of the traits of good leaders is their ability to regulate their emotions. I've always had trouble with this, and I feel it's gotten worse.

I think once you hit panic state you need to buckle up and hold on, but I've done a bit of reading about emotional self-regulation so I'm going to write a separate post about it to follow this one, if anyone's interested.

Love and hugs to you all, and thanks again Sophie, Hanna, Tayla, CS, Paws, Grandy, Andrew x

Hello Katy!

I am home from shopping (still no toilet paper!!!) and walking Sam and thought I'd log on and there you are. Good girl you've come through the worst.

I'm sorry someone said something hurtful to you, that made you so upset. People can be thoughtless or was it deliberate... anyway you know it's their problem and not yours.

Glad to hear you are OK and it's lovely to see you back. Take care, and look after yourself. If there's anything any of use can help you with, let us know.

Hugs ooo

Emotional self-regulation:

This is the ability to react in a socially appropriate way to our emotions. Generally this is learnt during childhood, but can be worked on in adulthood if you didn't master it for whatever reason.

Some proven strategies are:

Meditation, mindfulness, gratitude, and focused breathing. Practice these daily.

Choose your response. Remind yourself you're more than your feelings, by sitting with the discomfort but looking to the bigger picture. How do you WANT to respond? Don't get swept away on autopilot.

Reframe. Choose a different way of looking at things. Example: someone said some mean things to me. That doesn't make them true. It just makes them mean.

Down-regulate. Reduce the intensity of emotions, for example if you're really angry with someone imagine having a food fight with them 😉

Anyway hopefully I can work on some of these proven strategies, and maybe they'll be helpful for someone else.

Katy x

Yay, I am so glad that you're feeling slightly better today! I wish whoever said whatever they did to you to put you on the downward spiral would be more mindful that our words can really impact people in negative ways. Whatever outcome that person wanted from you could have easily been achieved by different means. I might be a bit of an old hippy but I am a believer that compassion is the only way to get anywhere.

The emotional regulation strategies are interesting, and from getting to know you a bit on here you understand and use all of those steps anyway, like me, its probably a matter of practicing them to master them. I suppose that means we have to be patient with ourselves to get there. The 'down regulation' step was really interesting to me as I often have to picture people as their child self in order to not be hurt or angry with them. Even the meanest person was a cute and vulnerable kiddy at one stage, and its hard to be hurt or angry with the actions of a tiny person.

This anxiety and depression stuff sux my friend! Like smoking, I think I will give it up, lol. From all the way on the other side of the country, I am in this with you and have your back.

Big bear hugs for you, the kind that actually hurt a bit coz they are a little too tight

CS xoxox

Unfortunately some people are lacking in empathy. "I'm allowed to say what I want" and "I'm not responsible for your feelings". Which is true, of course, and why it's important to engage our rational brain, before we spiral down the rabbit hole where rationality is beyond reach.

(Or maybe that just happens to me? I'm not really sure. Was going to chat to a professional about it).

And yes, mental health issues are challenging enough without people wanting to contribute to the disequilibrium.

Hugs back at ya x

Hey Katy, great to see you back here, I'm glad you're OK and safe.

I'm so sorry that someone was so rude to you, you don't deserve that. As Hanna said, just know that they're the bad person, not you. It's their loss for being disrespectful and not weary of your feelings and mental health so they're a crappy person, you aren't. Some people, huh?

But just remember that we're all always here for you - we love, care and support you, and always will. I was worried about you actually but I'm glad that you're back here, I understand needing time to yourself, being busy, etc.

You're allowed to feel however you want whether it's happy or sad, your feelings are valid. Even if you just feel numb or can't describe what you feel, that's fine too, don't be ashamed. It's common. I'm really sorry that you're struggling though.

I hope I can support you even if it's just a little bit, and make you feel better, I do my best. The same goes for everyone on the forums, I hope I can help everyone as much as I can.

I'm glad you kept reading the nice replies to you and it made you feel better, that's great to hear.

Take care of yourself, be safe.

Love and hugs to you, and to everyone here aswell of course.


Hey Tayla

I really appreciate you and your words. You're a kind and thoughtful person to check in and offer me such lovely support.

I think when we have mental health issues, it's important to be careful who we surround ourselves with. My circle has gotten smaller and smaller because people can be very harsh and judgemental. I know people often don't understand, but there's something to be said for just being kind.

Today I just feel bummed out and lonely, and I don't want to study, although I should be.

Hugs to you too x

Hi Katy.

Thank you, I'm glad to hear that you appreciate it and you think that of me, it means so much. I try my best to support you and everyone else on the forums, I often feel like I'm not good enough and supportive enough but I do try. I hope that I can help people even if it's just a little bit and something small.

You're a kind, caring, thoughtful person yourself, I mean you're a Valued Contributor too, so that says how much you support and care about people in itself, although it's just a badge, but it's still an achievement!

Yep, I completely agree with you unfortunately. Some people just refuse to understand mental illnesses and it's just wrong. But you don't need to worry about that here, as you know, this place is full of love, kindness, care, empathy, support, everything good, so you're safe here.

If it makes you feel any better, I've never had any friends myself especially in person so I know how you feel. I guess over the years I've been more weary aswell, like you mentioned.

And yes you're exactly right, they can try to understand, but just being kind is enough. As that quote says, "you never know what anyone is going through so just be kind."

I'm sorry that you've been feeling so bad and struggling a lot lately. It's okay to take a break from social media, studying, etc. just to "recharge" if you will. When I was at school, although I'm not at Uni and TAFE so I'm not sure how that works, I just told the teachers that I was dealing with a lot with mental health, I couldn't keep up, needed more time, had things outside of school to do, etc. Some teachers understood, some didn't. But as I mentioned I'm not sure what it's like at TAFE and Uni, you can try?

You deserve a break and some self care, a treat, anything that makes you happy. You sound like you work quite hard studying so good on you there but it's OK to take a break. Best of luck with the studying and everything else though.

I'm always here for you and everyone else on the forums. As I mentioned, I hope I can help and that my advice is good, I feel like it isn't but I do try my hardest.

Please take care of yourself and be safe Katy, I'm concerned. I understand how you're feeling though, the loneliness, etc. anyway.

Love and hugs back to you, and to everyone else here, aswell as hellos.

Best of luck with everything, I hope you feel better and I hope I can help you and others.

Tayla xx

Hi Katy,

Being kind is the most important thing of all!

I have also withdrawn from people whom I found disrespectful of my feelings/opinions and anyone who gets bad-tempered at me etc. It's for my own well-being that I do that. I look for kind friends above all - and they're not that easy to find!

When I was stuck staying with people who were abusive and emotionally cruel to me, by chance I met up with a small group of women who met each afternoon at a local café - outdoors, with their little dogs. I happened to get chatting with them and once they heard of my situation they made me completely welcome. They were far from well off (ie. they were poor) and had all had very, very hard lives. One young woman showed me the terrible texts she was receiving from her ex-husband who was very dangerous. She was a delightful young woman.

That small group of women kept me going (as well as Sam!) because of their non-judgmental acceptance of me, their warmth and friendship and understanding. I will never forget their kindness and how easily they made me feel welcome.

You don't have to put up with rudeness or cruel remarks, and anyone who says such things is revealing their own unhappiness - it's nothing to do with you. I think only people who are unhappy in themselves say nasty things to other people.

I'd avoid that person if you can in future - you deserve to have people around you who are kind and supportive and respectful.

I'm glad you're recovering, I am so sorry whoever it was had this effect on you. Remember it says much more about them than about you dear lady!

Hugs from me and Sam - and pats to Storm ooo xxx