It doesn't get any better

[Lostworld]

It's been 2 years now that i have been seeing doctors near weekly and still my mind is clouded with the question "Why?" Why go on, why bother, life is just too hard, i keep thinking of how to end it, the anti depressants i just came off had me curled up in bed 20 hours a day grinding my teeth and petrified to got out, even now I am off them, i feel it's all pointless.

[Croix]

Dear Barry~

You sound pretty down at the moment, I understand the feeling. Worst thing was that at the time there was very little that caught my interest, made me feel better and want to go on.

One thing did help - a bit. The fact I'd felt this way before and come out of it, and that there were things that did make me feel good later on.

With the crying, well I was brought up so men simply did not cry. Then when I got ill and the PTSD and depression took over I started crying. It was not something I could control, it just came on when it wanted. Plus it hurt, I could scarcely breath - very strange, very frightening.

Nowadays I still cry at times, but it is a whole different ball game, much more gentle, not frightening, more a nuisance. I'm lucky now I guess.

All sorts of things have made me feel better when I'm not right down.

I live in a small country town and know most of the people you meet very day, the folks in the Post Office who I can ask what's happening around the town. I guess it might be much the same for you - are they friendly there?

Then there's the ladies at the library, they know me and have my books ready, no need for the card. As I keep going I pass the supermarket, like the big ones, lots of stock, but you pay more not going into town.

That leaves the fast food joint where I get fish and chips sometimes (always too much salt no matter what you say) , then there's just the chemist and doctor's.

I reckon I've financed three chemist with islands in the Bahamas. They come, give me a whole load of pills, and eventually retire - young.

So I like the country life. No mad traffic, no stink, not that much hurry. Good to walk to the end of the street -when I can make it that far.

I think you might live in a country town too, do you find it much the same as mine?

Walking gives me a chance to listen to music - I listened to Ol'55 that way. Never heard of it before you told me. Plus I listen to others on YouTube. Have you any groups or singers you particularly like?

I'd like to do more practical things, but like you the body stops a lot of it. I still make the occasional bookcase, just flat pine planks with a bit of MDF, but it's getting to be a bit harder. I suppose as it gets harder the power tools get lighter and stronger. Do you remember the first cordless drill?

Try and reply mate, it would help both of us, I worry about you.

Croix

[blondguy]

Hey Barry

I am sorry that you are in the bad place.

Can I ask how Titan is?

When its convenient for you to post back of course

This is your thread, no one else's.

Im glad Croix is here too Barry.

Hug for you Barry

Paul

[Lostworld]

It hasn't been any better, in fact worse, the whole town is against me and doesn't want me here , which from the police I know is true and its too small over here on the west coast, Everyone knows. I just tried to fit in and help and got smacked down

[Croix]

Dear Barry~

Thanks for coming back with a new post. I meant to ask you last time did you get your car and phone sorted?

I remember when I was down the west coast on holiday many years ago I thought how isolated it all was, and if you have phone and car troubles it would be so much worse.

I guess small towns can be too small, as I said before I'm lucky with mine, enough reasonable people to go round. If you don't mind my asking what went wrong when you tried to fit in and help?

I think you also said you had to change meds, and that you were feeling the effects, are things any better now? I had a very long period where they either did not a lot or made things worse, took a long time to find ones that suited. Actually did not happen until I was in hospital.

Anyway my meds are ok now.

Take care Barry

Croix

[Lostworld]

Hi Croix,

No, I havent got the car sorted out yet, mainly due to not being able to get our of bed and hiding, I have all the stufff there to do it, there have been other things hanging around over my head like the court case.

The car broke down in Hagley, it overheated to a point where water was pouring out over the headers and flooding #3, so it wouldnt start until it had pumped all the water out. I have two heads here that came with a VR series 2 wagon i got for $500, it's in better condition as it has 120,000 less km than my series 2 VX Commodore., The VR is a special Government order 6 seat column shift, so ytou get a nice arm rest and a very open front floor, it also has glass headlights instead of the ones that get foggy plastic lenses. It has acrylic pain and not clear coat, so the paint is in great condition, So not sure which one to keep going.

My meds seem ok, but have some bad side effects like really bad balance, eating, dry mouth, I also get really bad hip pain early in the morning in bed, where i want to chop them off.

I hope you had a good day.

Barry

[Doolhof]

Hi Lostworld,

Just noticed your post, sounds like you are struggling in many different ways right now. I haven't read back through the post to seek more information about what you are going through.

In regards to the hip pain, I've been experiencing some weird muscle pain as well with my new meds, not sure if it is that or due to my back. Either way, the pain is intense and like someone has whacked me with a sledge hammer.

My pain eases if I put a pillow between my knees and try to lie on the side with the least amount of pain. It also helps if I lie on my back with a pillow wedged under my knees.

I have a glass of water or a cup of tea with my meals, makes it easier to get the moisture back in my mouth when eating. There is a spray you can buy from the chemist or I just took sips of water during the day or bought some sugar free lollies from the shop for during the day to stop my tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth.

I really enjoyed your description of your car. Took me back to the "good old days" when a car was a car! Ha. Ha. I had a HR and loved it.

Cheers from Mrs. D.

[Croix]

Dear Barry~
Nice couple of cars there, and it looks a bit difficult to decide which one to keep. What is the difference in age - 7 or 8 years? Maybe it depends if you want a wagon or not.

The VX is supposed to be a bit safer with better brakes and stronger pillars on the sides; does yours have side air-bags? On the down side it’s block may be damaged as well as the head with that much water – did you get a chance to have a look?

Do you have anyone that way that shaves blocks or sleeves cylinders or do you have to send them off to the big city?

If the VR has pretty good paint that would be awfully tempting, I personally go for a car with excellent paint as I think it is easier to fix some mechanical stuff than get a good paint job. I’ve a mate with an oven booth that does them but it is exy.

What color is it? – I always liked the Burgandy, nice and deep on the one I knew.

Having 120,00 less kilometres is attractive, how much does the VX have on it -250,000 or so?

The only other thing –for me –would be the bench seat, I need a lot of sideways support, I don’t know how the flip-down armrest would go –is it comfortable for you on twisty roads?

I had a go at my acrylic headlights with toothpaste, worked ok , but have started to cloud up again. If I re-do them I’ll have to put clear over the top to stop them going again –have you tried doing that ever?

You have a good day too – pat for the dog

Croix

[Lostworld]

I sleep on my side with a pillow between my knees, the only way to stop the pain that starts about 3am is to get up and take my pain killers which are really strong, go back to be and lay on my back for a while.

Yesterday while cutting a piece of wood at home I put my finger into the saw blade, and pretty much grabbed a tea towel that was on the washing machine behind me and then waited a few minutes and decided i didnt need 000 as i had the bleeding under control with pressure, I then made my way to ed.

So thats 2 fingers now.

[Lostworld]

Hi Croix,

The VR came with 2 VX heads, so if its only a head problem I have a gasket set. The VX hangs on really well even in the wet with the 235R18 8" for a wagon it does extremely well, but its pretty severe on brakes, I have to do a rear brake kit as its chewing out 3,000km a set, I will probably end up with EBC Yellowstuff on the front and EBC Greenstuff on the back with drilled and slotted discs

The VR is silver and the seats arent quite a bench seat, they are like a fold down dicky seat in the middle, so you get an armrest to stabilise against.

The VX is blue, but has a VY tailgate, which is a darker blue, both cars are wagons, I have survived this many years without all the technology, so I would rather simplicity. The VX has 320,000km on it.

I also have a 190E that was given to me, it needs a windscreeen ($330), a touch up where the paint was vandalised, it has just had a new motor put in and the interior is perfect, it drives really nice.

Barry

[blondguy]

Hey Barry

The VX & VY are well built...like a brick...house

Did you just mention a 190E? Another well built car.

Ive had VE Commodores as fleet vehicles and mechanically fine...just the usual faulty Holden electrics that plagued many of them

Go Ford!

My Best (pat on the head for Titan if you can please Baz) 🙂

Paul