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Chris_B PLEASE READ: What this forum is for (trigger warning advisory)
  • replies: 2

The threads in this section have been created by longer-term community members, and have evolved over time into rich, complex discussions about many aspects of living with a mental health condition. They were originally started in one of our other to... View more

The threads in this section have been created by longer-term community members, and have evolved over time into rich, complex discussions about many aspects of living with a mental health condition. They were originally started in one of our other topic sections, and have migrated here once reaching the milestone of 100 posts in order to allow members to keep following the life story being shared as it happens day to day. This is not a place to start new threads - discussions here have reached a sufficient level of popularity and depth that they have been moved here by moderators. Long-term support here on the forums is defined in terms of receiving that support here in this space, which is why we have chosen the 100-post milestone to select threads that will appear here. Our research tells us that 55% of our members have been living with a mental health condition for ten years or more, so long-term support in the real world will not be a strange concept to many of you. If you're seeking long-term support on your journey, we'd encourage you to start a new thread in the section that best suits where you are at this point. Making a commitment to daily posting and supporting others will eventually see your thread join the wonderful stories here in this section. A few important points to note: 1. The "new thread" button has been disabled for this section - if you click on it, you will be redirected to the beyondblue home page. 2. Please be aware that threads in this section may contain discussion of suicide, self-harm, sexual abuse, domestic abuse and other trauma-related topics. 3. Threads in this section may be archived periodically (locked or unpublished) at the discretion of moderators.

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Guest_08B8CB20 (Trigger warning) PTSD after being stabbed
  • replies: 227

I feel after i was stabbed nearly 1year ago in the chest heart arterie severed , punctured left lung ,fractured rib rushed to icu injuries were life threatening,i am struggling to deal with life i live in constant fear especially around people i publ... View more

I feel after i was stabbed nearly 1year ago in the chest heart arterie severed , punctured left lung ,fractured rib rushed to icu injuries were life threatening,i am struggling to deal with life i live in constant fear especially around people i public i have no family support but do have friends but i feel a burden to them all, the flashbacks are out off control especially when sleeping,i dont no what to do i dont have the desire to do much in life anymore i seam to have lost interest in working hobbies even going for a surf i have 4weeks left at were im staying now and the time has come for me to ask for help as i put on a brave face but deep down im feel broken, what do you suggest would be something that could help me with dealing with this nighmare i deal with everynight i go to sleep

lookingforme Living with Borderline Personality Disorder
  • replies: 168

I had absolutely no idea where to put this post, but considering I already have the depressive disorder, I'd put it here. I have just today been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder on top of the depression, does anyone on here have it and ... View more

I had absolutely no idea where to put this post, but considering I already have the depressive disorder, I'd put it here. I have just today been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder on top of the depression, does anyone on here have it and is able to summarise it? I don't quite know how to explain it to people other than by listing symptoms, which I don't really want to do. And you know that old saying, if you can't explain it simply enough, you don't truly understand it. It's a strange label. Suffice it to say that I haven't been having a good time of it lately, and this diagnosis makes me half relieved and half unknowing, which I don't much care for. I just know it's something I will have to work at to manage, and stress aggravates it, and right now, I am nothing but stressed, Any help is appreciated. Joelle

Zetta UPDATED: I just feel alone and lost in a new world I don't like
  • replies: 125

Hi everyone, I just want to introduce myself. I went to the Dr today and he prescribed me my medication. I'll be starting the journey to a more positive outlook soon. I just feel soo lost and confused. My husband and I have had a pretty hard week thi... View more

Hi everyone, I just want to introduce myself. I went to the Dr today and he prescribed me my medication. I'll be starting the journey to a more positive outlook soon. I just feel soo lost and confused. My husband and I have had a pretty hard week this week as I told him something that changed everything for us. A secret I held for a long time. And he's not talking to me much. I just feel alone and lost in a new world I don't like. It's just all soo confusing.

Doolhof FESTIVE SEASON STRUGGLES
  • replies: 244

Season's Greetings everyone. We have a lovely cheery Christmas and New Years thread started up in the Social Zone. Hope you can drop by there and share some joy and happiness. This is the alternate thread, where you can share the not so pleasant memo... View more

Season's Greetings everyone. We have a lovely cheery Christmas and New Years thread started up in the Social Zone. Hope you can drop by there and share some joy and happiness. This is the alternate thread, where you can share the not so pleasant memories of Christmas or the concerns you may have for Christmas 2016. For me, my depressive brain decides to hassle me about Christmas in November! That is so unnecessary! I need to break this habit! So on this thread you can share the negative and hopefully find a positive at the end. You might like to share what the worst present was that you ever received, or how sad and miserable you are at Christmas. By sharing, we may well be able to help and support each other through a time that can be very tough for some. This is the place to vent, the thread on the Social Zone is also waiting for you to add your happy thoughts and memories of Christmas and New Years. Thinking of you all, hugs from Mrs. Dools

GuestYD BPD
  • replies: 167

Hi all i have BPD. I have been to the emergency department multiple times due to suicidal thinking when 2 hours before I was happy. I can go from excited to depressed in an instant. i used to self harm but I've stopped that. I am fixated by the idea ... View more

Hi all i have BPD. I have been to the emergency department multiple times due to suicidal thinking when 2 hours before I was happy. I can go from excited to depressed in an instant. i used to self harm but I've stopped that. I am fixated by the idea of suicide even though I've got no intent. I can be impulsive. I idealise certain people in my life, including my mental health team. I fear that my Dr will abandon me. i experienced brief psychosis when I was stressed and the object wasn't really there

Night What do I do?
  • replies: 102

This is my first post, so excuse me if I make any mistakes. I hardly know where to start when discussing my sotuation. For just over a year I've been extremely stressed with family issues. I can't cope but I don't feel comfortable telling anyone. I l... View more

This is my first post, so excuse me if I make any mistakes. I hardly know where to start when discussing my sotuation. For just over a year I've been extremely stressed with family issues. I can't cope but I don't feel comfortable telling anyone. I lack trust as it seems every time I trust someone, they lose my trust almost as quickly. From things I've read on beyondblue and the Internet in general, I believe I have social phobia and depression. I helped care for a friend who suffers depression and it's been great to see him recover from the suicidal slump he was in. The only problem is now I've found myself in the same hole he was in. I don't know anyone who wouldn't judge me or react in some negative way if I told them I was suicidal. I tried to tell some friends about my mental state. At the time I was still unsure if I wanted them to know or not, so I double encrypted a message. It was devastating to see how quickly it was shrugged off as 'just some random letters to get attention'. Tonight I took the 'K10' test and scored 39. Last week I had possibly the scariest moment in my life. I was researching different suicide methods when my parents came in. I'm still unsure if they saw or not, but ever since they've been acting strange. I also have two school assignments coming up with very large weightings. Both are speeches- something I'm not looking forward to in the slightest. I don't know what to do. I know I need help, but I'm unsure if I want it. Sorry if I rambled a lot in different directions, but I'm just so confused. Thanks, Night

hope4joy feeling so lonely and isolated
  • replies: 102

hi everyone, I feel kinda guilty posting here because I haven't been active on the forums for a month or two. I guess I just need to vent and reach out a bit as I can't seem to stop crying today. i guess the main thing is i feel overwhelming loneline... View more

hi everyone, I feel kinda guilty posting here because I haven't been active on the forums for a month or two. I guess I just need to vent and reach out a bit as I can't seem to stop crying today. i guess the main thing is i feel overwhelming loneliness. its horrible because my life outwardly is going so well, in terms of doing things and studying in an area that i love. but it seems my loneliness is something that always comes and haunts me, or plagues me or is just my reality in life. i'm okay with being alone and spending time by myself. but i struggle to maintain many close friendships. its like i'm getting worse at it the older i get. and i seriously have so few people in my life that matter and hardly anyone i can ring up and ask to catch up with. and it seems i al always the one initiating contact with others, no one really makes an effort to spend time with me. i keep having something go round and round in my head, something that a friend said to me that at a certain point in her life she realised she didn't like who she was and she decided she had to change. in many ways i think i'm a caring, funny and sensitive friend, i'm good at encouraging people and being kind. but i suck at meeting my own needs and i think i often don't really share my mind or heart, i sort of withdraw. and when i'm stressed or sad or whatever then i pull back further - when this is when i most need support. sometimes i can feel really awkward in group social situations at night, and feel so out of place, and not know how to make small talk. i'm just so tired and distraught at not having a full loving life. am i a horrible person? what can't i seem to hold on to friendships? i was thinking to ask my one close friend for her honest feedback on why i suck at friendship cause sometimes it is much more obvious to other people, but i don't want to freak her out or put strain on our friendship. so yeah. i guess just many many tears of alone-ness. and the sad thing is i don't know how to solve it. maybe i am just a horrible person who is destined to be perpetually alone? and it is horrible that this was the trauma of my childhood - from about age 7 to 12 or so i lived in a home with an alcoholic dad and older sister and spent so much time in nature climbing trees and swimming - on my own. maybe i never learnt how to properly be around people and its gonna hinder me forever? sorry to be so self absorbed right now thanks for reading