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It doesn't get any better

Lostworld
Community Member
It's been 2 years now that i have been seeing doctors near weekly and still my mind is clouded with the question "Why?" Why go on, why bother, life is just too hard, i keep thinking of how to end it, the anti depressants i just came off had me curled up in bed 20 hours a day grinding my teeth and petrified to got out, even now I am off them, i feel it's all pointless.
131 Replies 131

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Barry~

I should have thought being ex-government about the VR being either silver or white, but then I've seen all colors at the auctions where they get rid of the government cars. Did you get yours from the auctions?

Is the the V6 or the V8 you are dealing with? I'd guess V6 if number 3 was the leaking one. I'm surprised firstly at the low klms on those rear wheels, and secondly it was the rear wheels that are wearing out before the front.

Do you think there was anything wrong, or it had softer pads than standard? I'd expect 10 times that long at least. You wheels/tyres sound standard, so its funny.

With the EBC pads, I've heard good reports though I've never used them, the only thing I did hear is that they are a bit dusty - particularly at the start when first fitted. The bloke who told me said it was because they have a special coating on them that wears off quick when you first use them - don't know if that is right.

I can understand wanting different rotors, though when I've changed over (on vintage bikes not cars) I found the drilled ones were more likely to crack than the slotted ones. I ended up with a pair that had those slots that stop and start again (forget the proper name) and they were perfect. Cracked rotors are expensive.

I don't do my own work nowadays, a bloke that races drag bikes helps me out. There is no way I would ever go on his machine, I'd be at the end of the track before I even knew I'd started.

Don't know anything about Mercedes, out of my price bracket though that's a decent price for a screen, particularly out of a major city.

Take care Barry, pat for the dog

Croix

Lostworld
Community Member

Croix,

EBC pads have less dust, they do have a bedding in compound, but every pad does now.

I am really feeling down as I got up very high in the govt for hrlp and they stated a plan they would implement, but now its all fallen through and they are doing nothing, I have yet been let down again, now not are they just going to take away the Benzo's, but also the pain killers, once that happens I will not be able to cope with the pain and anxiety, I am already strugling with the anxiety as the switch down a level due to the authorising body telling my doctor he had to do that. I told the person from the government once this happens I will just become a statistic, it's pretty poor with the amount each day. Just 2 bloody tablets to keep things bearable.

I still haven't felt happiness for years, there is no quality of life, is the answer to lock me up in a ward in the hospital, that's just going to make things worse.

Someone tell me the answer, it doesn't get better, the days just get darker and harder deal with.

Hi Barry,

How is your finger? Hope it mended okay! My Dad has been a builder his whole life and has sustained a few injuries here and there, nothing too serious thankfully. He still has all his digits!

Sounds like you really know your cars! I am a bit with you, I much preferred life in my earlier years where I could understand things a whole lot easier.

Modern technology is great when you understand it and it works well. When it doesn't, you need a million people to fix the problem! You can't just kick the tyres so to speak and get going again.

Hope you are travelling okay.

Cheers from Mrs. D.

My finger has mended fairly well, but I have been really down and finding it hard to justify each day, especially if I am denied access to the medicines I am on, this may happen soon due to various reasons, i tried to escalate it and had the health ministers aid call me and email me several times promising action, but that has fallen through.

Its getting harder to get up each day and I have no appetite.

No one would miss me or even know I am gone.

Hey Barry

You know you would be missed. I understand about the meds as I am going through the same at the moment because of people that abuse their scripts which makes it more than difficult for people like you and I. I hear you loud and clear on that subject, no worries there.

Thanks for having the guts to post again. You are a valued part of the family here Barry

Please be kind to yourself my friend

(Hugs) Paul

Hi Barry,

Sounds like you had some sort of an experience where you no longer felt the pain, hurt and disillusionment of this world.

As a Christian, I believe in Heaven and so many times I have wanted to be there rather than here. One main reason is because I believe my children are there.

I want to encourage you to keep fighting for this life while you have it Barry. You will have all of eternity for the next life.

It is really tough when you feel like you have to battle each day just to get up out of bed. I don't know why it can be so hard. It is this illness Barry. Our brains and mental health issues make us think and feel this way.

I do so pray you find hope Barry. As hard and tedious as it is, make those calls again Barry. Go to the hospital if you have to and tell them you won't leave until you receive the help you need.

Wishing you the strength to keep fighting Barry.

Cheers for now from Mrs. D.

Yes, I had commited suicide once before and was in a coma for 3 days after being dead for 2 min, this is the peace I talk about.

I am not a christian and had writen about my experience based on my belief system, Buhdism.

I feel alien to this world as if it is not of my own.

I will just say heel, coz if I say more my post will be deleted

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Barry~

I've found at times it is hard to think otherwise but you would be very missed, by me and the others here if nobody else, and I'm sure there would be some.

Which reminds me, can I ask how you went with your birth mother? No pressure to reply if you don't want.

And although you changed your pic (Lancer right?) you have not said much for a couple of days, so I'm wondering how you are going.

I'm glad the finger is not too bad - can you use the other hand to give the dog a pat?

Croix

Lostworld
Community Member

I never did get to meet my mother due to the car problem. Its probably better than her meeting a failure.