It doesn't get any better

[Lostworld]

It's been 2 years now that i have been seeing doctors near weekly and still my mind is clouded with the question "Why?" Why go on, why bother, life is just too hard, i keep thinking of how to end it, the anti depressants i just came off had me curled up in bed 20 hours a day grinding my teeth and petrified to got out, even now I am off them, i feel it's all pointless.

[Lostworld]

Quirkywords

I taught myself to build the guitars, it was easy coming from a carpentry backgroud, it get harder with through neck vs bolt on neck, the advantage with through neck is they dont go out of tune. There maybe 50 people in Australia making them, which isnt much.

Playing? I can play ok, I played "Gimme Shelter" on bass one night for Suzi Quatro's exhusband and another guy who played with Ike and Tina Turner.

lw

[blondguy]

Hey Barry

50 people (craftsmen) making guitars out of 23,000,000 isnt much at all

Hows Titan going Barry?

Best, Paul

[geoff]

hi Barry, if you can build a guitar, you have the wonders of a craftsman. Geoff.

[Croix]

Dear Barry~

I listened to 'Gimme Shelter' on YouTube to remind me. I'd forgotten all the words. Another Stones' Vietnam song. Actually one of my all-time favorites is close -'Paint it Black'.

I used to listen to that as the theme music for a TV show . Later on I bought the same show on DVD, but all the music had changed -no Stones. Was rather disappointment. Still have the tapes with the original music, but tapes are getting too old now, colours going, to much pink/red.

My mate prefers the though neck and told me why, but then he lost me with his description of different sorts of headstock, he does not like the ones that 'bend over' at the end for some reason - he did say, maybe difficult to attach, I'm afraid I don't remember too clearly.

It sounds like you were pretty much into music in the past. Can you still play at all?

I've as much musical ability as a log. Used to enjoy being in a choir, but then my voice broke and that was that. I tried a few years ago to lean the piano to distract me. Picked up an electric one from a charity shop, came with music books that had the letters in them that matched letters on the keys.

I got so I could play a waltz, but there were no chords, all straight melody. Then my wife passed away and I didn't feel like playing with it any more. Never really had the urge to go back, even though I re-married and am good.

Hope you are ok, please give the dog another pat

Croix

[Lostworld]

I haven't been on for a while, my phone died, so I bought another at the shop and their incompetence got me a phone I couldn't use as it was network locked.

It was really starting to stress me as legal aid are due to ring soon regarding a case.

My car has also died limiting my ability to go shopping or attend medical appointment, some are 300km away. It has cracked a head so badly you can see the water coming out as you turn it over.

All this with coming off one benzo and onto another along with adding an antipsychotic is taking its toll.

There are just too many things pushing me too the limit.

[Croix]

Dear Barry~

You are having a lot go wrong all at once, something I find very hard to deal with myself. Hopefully you manged to sort the phone out at the shop, it's a real trap having them network locked.

It's just no good not having a phone, everything depends on it nowadays. Fingers crossed you are able to get the legal aid call.

Cracked head - major job. No easy fix for that. When I was younger (yes in the stone age:) cars were that much simpler, a Holden six with blue motor you could whip off the manifolds and lift the cast-iron head, replace the whole thing in 1/2 day or less. Now it's a different story. I would have no idea how to deal with all the spaghetti and alloy.

No chance it is just the gasket?

Do you think the change of meds is going ok? Like the side effects are not too great?

Are you making any Huon Pine stuff at the moment? I suppose you make things for the tourist trade.

Can you get out at all for a walk? I get dragged out every day with the dog, though I can't hold her, have to get the wife to do that. The dog was bitten by another a couple of yeas ago and it changed her personality. Up till then she was very friendly, kids, adults, other dogs - all good.

Now she is still very good with humans, but as soon as she sees another dog she goes mad barking - getting in first from fear I guess. Starwolf, who posts here on the Forum and looks after rescued dogs, says they get PTSD. So dogs do take after their owners I guess 🙂

Actually I enjoy the walks. I live in a small country town and the end of my street is fields, so I get to see a bit of wildlife together with the cows and sheep - plus lots of rabbits, the khaleesi virus must have stopped working. There are some that were pets I think, one is black.

Unfortunately there is a nest of cats around there too under an old barn, tend to kill anything they can.

Still on a fine night it's great under the stars. Always go at night if I can. Take one of those LED torches you get on eBay for around $20. They have a fantastic light, see anything right across the paddocks.

I've talked enough. Take care of yourself Barry, pat for the dog.

Croix

[Lostworld]

Croix

I don't walk much due to my knees, the pain gets really bad.

I hope to get the car home tomorrow, its so hard being in a small town with only one taxi. The pastfew mornings even My Owen has been covered.

Barry

[Croix]

Dear Barry~

Knees -hmm, I guess like my spine they get worse in cold weather. I've not been able to walk due to rain for a couple of days, miss the exercise. Hopefully tomorrow is going to be better.

What is "My Owen"? Is that your dog?

Did you manage to get your car fixed? I hope so. Relying on just one taxi sounds awkward. Actually I'm a bit surprised there is any taxi at all nearby.

What are you doing to fill in your time at the moment? I don't even know how many TV channels you have or if you can watch YouTube or TV on the internet like iView. I'm enjoying the new Doctor Who series on Sundays.

Actually I watched the first episode when it first came out -early 60's I think. I still remember it, not as slick and polished as the newer series, but fun. I think I might still have been living in the UK back then, memory not always spot-on.

The other thing I watched was Mr Bean playing the French detective Maigret. There was an earlier series on TV around the time Doctor Who started. Different actor of course. Not bad for a cop show, not so much shoot-em-up, more people.

Anyway take care - pat for dog of course

Croix

[Croix]

Dear Barry~

Haven't heard from you for a while, if you feel like it I'd like to know how oyu are getting on

Croix

[Lostworld]

Croix

I really feel I am at the end,just no reason to go on, all I do is cry