how do i stop crying

[Matchy69]

I feel so alone,i dont have many friends or anyone who wants to know what i am going through.I just find my self just breaking down and crying.I just want some one to listen and not to judge me.

[Aaronsis]

Hey Mark

That is so wonderful that you got some really good medical help yesterday, your post sounds really positive and I can hear that you are feeling hopeful and pretty happy with how things went. That is so great to hear and I am so happy for you and will be thinking of you as you start this new course of medication.

That was great to hear too that you got out on the bike and were able to have a really nice time and some coffee too...I am hoping that you felt really good after your ride, just being out in the fresh air and back doing what you really enjoy, that is awesome to hear.

The football has been a bit of an "anyone's game" this season, with the teams you think that will win easily being beaten .... I suppose it makes for an interesting game, there have been some real nail biters that is for sure. I will be going for your bombers this Anzac day match that is for sure and I hope that they get up for you too. That is a really cool story as to how you came to support Essendon, it is funny how we align things to what we are doing at the time..it kind of reminds me how when certain songs come on you are instantly taken to a place or memory of what that song means for you.

It is really starting to cool off here too with the last few days being almost winter like and me having the heater going at night. I feel like it has almost snuck up on us..the sound of an open fire does really make me feel happy, I love the smell and the sounds and also the heat is just so different than from manufactured heating.

Mum's birthday was weird for me as I really did not know what to do with myself, but the day came and went and I did the best I could and sort of took each moment as it came and went with it. We still not have done her ashes and I think will do that in July when it is the anniversary of her passing. Mother's day will be a little weird too I expect. I hope to be distracted with my own kids but know that I will have moments of missing her too.

I hope today is going well for you and the medication is making some small difference already.

Huge hugs to you my friend

Sarah xx

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah my son hasn't been feeling to well and went to the doctor and had some test done and got them back them the other night and he needed to go on some medication and probably need to be on that rest of his life the doctor says.The medication seems to be working already and I will see how he goes this weekend.Their could be some surgery if things get to bad in the future but try and avoid that at all cost.

Hopefully in the footy they can win this ANZAC Day.Both teams struggling so far this year and this game always has a grand final atmosphere.I usually March in the street parade with the school wont again this year with my son being sick.

Take care,

Mark.

[Aaronsis]

Good Morning my friend

I hope that your son is doing well and that he and you are all ok with the idea of medication for him. I so hope that this will assist him on his journey and help him through.

I was so happy to hear that the meds are working for you and that you are already starting to feel somewhat better, that is so awesome and I am so happy for you Mark, this is great!

I am also thrilled we both had a footy win over the weekend and you with the ANZAC game, it was such an awesome game and I was thinking of how happy you would be!

Are you ready for this??? I went roller skating on the weekend...wow...talk about take you back to your childhood. It was so fun and we started off so wobbly and it was not long before we got our skating groove on. The games were still the same as when I was a child and it brought back so many awesome memories...we will be going again soon that is for sure!!!

Did you manage to get up to anything over the weekend that put a smile on your face my friend?

Hope to chat to you soon and hear about what you have been up to.

Hugs and more hugs

Sarah xxx

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah I am glad you had fun roller skating.I use to skate alot when I was a teenager and still have my old speed skates somewhere which was the in thing back then.A girl in my class parents owned the skating rink.

I had a really full on weekend and am totally mentally and physically drained.My son's medication has changed from a really high dose twice today to a low dose once at night.I don't feel like I was mentally prepared for this and probably didn't cope the best with it.

This afternoon I have a doctor's appointment and I had some scans done thursday.I really hate afternoon appointments as I get so anxious and worried all day.

I didn't get a chance to watch the footy and noticed the cats got a good percentage booster and the Don's got up.It was just to full on to be able to watch it.

Take care,

Mark.

[Aaronsis]

Hi Mark

I am so glad that you too have roller skating memories of your childhood too. It really is so fun and we used to spend the whole day down at the roller skating rink, even though there were alot of people there on the weekend I don't feel like it is as popular as when we were kids. It is good to see the adults out on the skates too, although once again there are not too many with most watching from the side lines.

How is your son going with the new medication regime? I hope that it is suiting him better and that he is responding well to it, and that you have got your head around it too, changes suddenly can really throw us about and I am sorry this impacted you and caught you off guard, not helpful.

I hope your doctors appointment went well and yes, I am a bit the same, I like to get things over and done with early in the day so that one is not sitting around waiting for it and running situations or scenarios through one's head and making a whole story up about it and causing worry. I hope that it was a good appointment though and that you are on track on your recovery too.

The football was not a great game in that your Bombers really ran away with the ball and didn't leave much for the maggies to do. I love it when it is a nail biter and you get really excited with each point that is kicked, it makes for a much better game and I am sure you would agree on that one too.

I am off to donate blood this weekend so it will be a quiet one for me, unless of course my friend wants to go skating again in which I could be persuaded..lol

My son is starting his first day of work tomorrow as part of his VCAL course this year, he will be going out with an electrician for the day so I am super keen to see how he goes with that and how he feels about the whole thing. I hope he enjoys it but no pressure from me.

Have a great evening my friend and hope you have been able to get into that garden of yours.

Hugs as always

Sarah xx

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah thanks for replying.Roller skating brings back memories of when I was in school and did it for school sports.Our teacher who use to take us was a Typing teacher and I never had her as boys never did typing in those days which is a shame as it is a skill we need today.We use to ask her can you please skate with us Miss stirring her knowing she never would and she would continue reading her book.

My son is doing ok with the medication he is on.He seems so much better at the moment but I do know what can happen if he detetiates and he needs surgery .

My daughter's formal is coming up in September and their has been drama with my ex thinking she isn't invited and can't go but I messaged my daughter and she said she invited her mother and we have someone who will look after our son for us.Its just my ex being a drama queen and I am over it

The doctor's appointment showed that the test showed I will need surgery again in the future and that it is slowly deteriating but not sure when in the future I will need this surgery.I will just have to put up with the pain and take pain killers for the moment.I can get something stronger if needed but see how I go out the moment .

The footy ladder is looking really interesting at the moment with Melbourne and Bulldogs in top.The first ever ANZAC game between the pies and Bombers was a draw which seemed like a fitting result.I will take this year's sin and I don't know how many th more games we will win this year.I think the cats will play finals they look good again this year and hungry.

Take care.

Mark.

[Aaronsis]

Hello my friend

It is so funny sometimes the memories we have from school, and especially now that things have changed so much and there would NEVER be classes that only girls took, like typing!! As you say, a skill that so many of us need now with computers being the for front of our way of working and communicating. I have memories of one of our teachers taking the girls on a sperate walk when the boys were doing the flying fox one camp..as there was no way girls would do the flying fox!!! I look back now and think how ridiculous!!

I am so happy to hear that your son is doing so much better with the medication. Let's have everything crossed for him that he does not deteriorate and that he can start to maintain on this new medication.

What a whole lot of confusion over the formal, I am so happy though that you are both able to go and that your daughter is able to have you both amicably in the one room or the one event, something I was not so lucky to have...I think it is great that you are going to both be there for her and get someone to be with your son on the night, that is fantastic and she will really love having you both there. I hope your ex can see though that sometimes things can be solved with a conversation rather than jumping to conclusions and thinking the worst.

I am glad you are able to somewhat manage the pain at the moment and I hope that they future surgery is just that, a long time in the future. I am sorry that is on the cards for you but lets try and stay focused on the now and getting through the healing of this one, I know that is probably easier said than done too.

The football is so very interesting this year, who would have picked Melbourne to be unbeaten. I am so happy for them though as I am a huge Jim Stynes fan and I love that they club are flourishing in his honor almost. I am really not sure how my cats are going to go, we are missing so many opportunities and just have not got it right...so I am not sure how we are going to end up...

Hope you have been able to do something fun over the weekend and enjoy some time in your garden. What is blooming at the moment in your collection of gorgeous plants?

Well almost home time for me and time to change hats and to cook dinner and those exciting things.

Chat soon my friend

Sarah xxxx

[Matchy69]

Hi Sarah it's a wet day here with a few storms passing by.The garden is growing crazy.My citrus are all in fruit and I have been harvesting plenty of mandarins .Roses are all out in flower and so are my different colour geraniums.

My son's back out school and doing ok.My daughter found a formal dress so she is happy with it.Not sure if I will go or not,I am over all the drama.Parents never use to go to formals Shen I was at school.All different today.

Been feeling down lately.Knowing nothing is going improve with my health dosnt help and medication can only work so much.Its no fun getting old.

I managed to watch the Essendon and Carlton game.I thought for a moment we might been able to win it.

Take care,

Mark.

[Matchy69]

It's just overcast this morning and might just in bed.Ibdont feel like doing much.The cooler weather is nicer.I will put a DVD on that I fell asleep to last night watching in bed.I suppose to be on call but how when I don't have a car.She has a dentist appointment at 1:30pm but she won't get back before 3pm.So I have the stress and worry about that today.

[Aaronsis]

Hello my friend

I hope that you have had some rest today and were able to finish the DVD you started. It has been sunny here today so was nice for me to sit outside and have some lunch, which has been a nice change from the past few days with the cool weather really starting to set in.

That is very exciting that your daughter has a dress for her formal. I hear what you are saying in that parents never went to these sorts of things, mine didn't come to my senior function either, well it is nice that they are including families and making them more inclusive, I hope that you give some thought to going, it will be a lovely night and she will sure love having you there.

Hope that the appointments have gone well this afternoon and that you have not been feeling too worried during the day in anticipation. It is hard to take hold of these things when they are in the afternoon and you have to wait all day, and then you don't really know how it is going to go and start to play things out in your head.

My friend painted a picture of my daughter and it is so wonderful, we are just in disbelief of how it has turned out as she had never painted a portrait before. She is so clever at painting that I had no doubt it would be good but to see the final picture is just so incredible...if only my COVID paintings were as good..lol

Well I am off to have an afternoon coffee and get a few things done before home time.

Look forward to chatting to you again soon my friend.

Hugs as always

Sarah xx