Hi everyone, I'm back.

[Guest_4643]

Hi everyone, mb20lover here. I wasn't sure where to post this.

It's been a while since I was on the forums, so I just wanted to make a post saying that I'm back. However, I'll try my best to limit my time, comments, etc on here.

I won't bother tagging anyone, and I'll try to keep this as my only open thread that I have created.

I've missed everyone I've spoken to on here, and I hope to talk to some new people. I have been using my offline supports - my Psychiatrist, GP, Parent support of course, and a Social Worker. I'm in the process of finding a Psychologist but I'm having no luck.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and say hello, and also I hope I haven't upset anyone on the forums or anything like that because nothing was intentional, so I deeply apologise.

An update on me, I recently turned 21, can't do much with COVID though, it's a hard year for everyone unfortunately.

I also have a milestone, an achievement, I've been seeing my Psychiatrist for a year which is the longest I've stayed with a therapist. And I also finally have a GP I feel comfortable with. I'm on different meds that seem to be working a little but I still of course have my moments, but these meds I've been on the longest for out of any of the ones I've tried.

Other than that, please don't feel pressured to comment anyone, although it would be nice to connect with some people, old or new, but like I said that's okay. I just wanted to check in.

If you've read this and made it this far, thank you. Stay safe and take care everyone, as much as possible with the unfortunate COVID circumstances.

Thinking of all the Beyond Blue Mods & Users. I've missed everyone.

- mb20lover.

[Jstar49]

Hi Tayla,

I'm sorry if you found my comments a bit harsh. If you check the timeline it may make more sense. Of course you don't always have to respond, I wasn't meaning that.

Sometimes, the feedback I have received in life that felt the harshest at the time, turned out to be the most helpful. I hope that you can see past your hurt feelings of me being a little bit tough on you, and realise that I'm coming from a place of love, becos I do truly care about you, and want you to be able to cope in a world which can be difficult to understand at times. You're very young, with few opportunities, from what you've told us, to interact with others.

Sure, being nice to you, and only saying sweet things might feel better than a hard truth, but it won't help you to grow and make changes which will help you to be well and happy.

If you need to take time away, please know that your BB family will stil be here when you get back. We all take time away now and then.

All the best,

J*

[Guest_1643]

Hello to all reading, rayla, hope u are OK, truthfully I felt really hurt and pushed away by your posts, and also when u wrote people were deliberately avoiding you, after giving vii no heartfelt answers and support. I do not agree that w as what was happening. Keep well

[Guest_4643]

Hi all.

Sleepy, I'm sorry if I ever made you and others feel that way. That wasn't my intention, and I feel bad. I guess I just have a problem of doing that. I was mostly referring to people online, not on here. I know you've given me support, and I appreciate it, just like I appreciate everyone's support I have gotten. I've barely been on here so that's why I didn't respond to J's reply and others. I do appreciate the replies and support. I didn't mean to make you feel pushed away, or others. I'm sorry for that, please forgive me.

Yes J, I know what you mean. And thank you Grandy.

Again I apologise. I was never trying to push anyone away or ignore their support. Sometimes I'm just not sure what to say but I do appreciate it, and I realise people can't be on here all the time, and have their own things going on, etc. I do understand that.

Again I'm sorry I didn't reply to people like J, I didn't do it to ignore anyone, I just haven't been on here, that's all.

[Guest_4643]

Also just to add, please don't get mad at me and say hurtful things if I don't respond. I'm not coming on the forums. I do see your points but I feel hurt by what's been said here. I never meant to hurt anyone and push them away. I'll just keep overthinking and feel bad about it.

I'm not ignoring anyone, I'm just not coming on the forums, so please don't attack me.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Tayla, i am thinking of wheni posted and your replies either asked if anyone else was around (other than me), or did not acknowledgement. Definitively not referring to u not being here.

If ur OT here you can't reply. It's not upsetting at all if u take breaks. I think it hurts to read that everyone is ignoring you makingyiufeelalone, whnethepeople reading support you.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Tayla, these times are hard and it was very rough for me to read. I'm not sure ifeelsowelcome hereonthis thread, and I have felt really hurt. Justlik3uare trying to staysaf3, people here are vulnerable. We have sore spots too

[Guest_4643]

You're welcome on any thread Sleepy, this one included. I never meant to make you feel unwelcome or hurt. I'm very sorry, please forgive me. I know people here are vulnerable. I just felt like that at the time I wrote it because every thread was getting responded to but mine.

I'm asking for my account to be deleted here.

[Guest_4643]

I'm sorry Sleepy. I see your point. I never meant to make you feel hurt and unwelcome, or anybody for that matter. Of course you're welcome on this thread, like anywhere on the forums. I'm sorry I didn't acknowledge you and others. At the time I felt like my thread was being avoided. I'm sorry I mentioned it at the time.

I'm going off here, it will be best.

[Guest_1643]

Hitayla, noone is suggesting you delete your thread,I'm just saying I felthurt by your comments and felt manypeople were replying to you.

[Guest_1643]

Hi Tayla just as you feel hurt, others are able to say the same. I'm not mad, or saying hurtful things or bullying or anything of that nature