Hi everyone, I'm back.

[Guest_4643]

Hi everyone, mb20lover here. I wasn't sure where to post this.

It's been a while since I was on the forums, so I just wanted to make a post saying that I'm back. However, I'll try my best to limit my time, comments, etc on here.

I won't bother tagging anyone, and I'll try to keep this as my only open thread that I have created.

I've missed everyone I've spoken to on here, and I hope to talk to some new people. I have been using my offline supports - my Psychiatrist, GP, Parent support of course, and a Social Worker. I'm in the process of finding a Psychologist but I'm having no luck.

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and say hello, and also I hope I haven't upset anyone on the forums or anything like that because nothing was intentional, so I deeply apologise.

An update on me, I recently turned 21, can't do much with COVID though, it's a hard year for everyone unfortunately.

I also have a milestone, an achievement, I've been seeing my Psychiatrist for a year which is the longest I've stayed with a therapist. And I also finally have a GP I feel comfortable with. I'm on different meds that seem to be working a little but I still of course have my moments, but these meds I've been on the longest for out of any of the ones I've tried.

Other than that, please don't feel pressured to comment anyone, although it would be nice to connect with some people, old or new, but like I said that's okay. I just wanted to check in.

If you've read this and made it this far, thank you. Stay safe and take care everyone, as much as possible with the unfortunate COVID circumstances.

Thinking of all the Beyond Blue Mods & Users. I've missed everyone.

- mb20lover.

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla I am wondering how you are today ?It's a lovely sunny day here today.I am just going to spend it in front of the tv.
Take care,
Mark.

[Guest_4643]

Hi Mark, thanks for checking in. Hi to anyone else if anybody else is around.

I'm a bit annoyed and depressed today, because of my so called cousins. They've made it clear how unwanted I am by them. They just say I'm a downer & talk about SI, but I can't help it. I'm sick of people holding my illnesses against me. Nobody understands my AVPD & that annoys me a lot.

How are you?

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla it is hard when people don't understand your illness.It does happen a lot and makes it so lonely I am just really tired today.I am just on the lounge watching the tv.
Take care,
Mark.

[Guest_4643]

I agree Mark. My Psychiatrist seems to be the only person who understands me, especially the AVPD (Avoidant Personality Disorder). It's hard to explain. It makes me crave lots of attention & be overbearing but I don't mean to, then as the name suggests, I don't want to be heard from, etc. so I avoid people, conversations, etc and don't talk to anybody. It's a vicious difficult cycle and nobody understands. It also makes me very sensitive to criticsm, rejection, failure & so forth. There's more to it than that also.

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla that makes it so hard for you making friends.It would be nice if your family could understand it instead of being negative towards you and making you feel worst.My anxiety prevents me from making friends or being able to keep them.
Mark.

[Guest_4643]

My Parents understand, it's just nobody else. Thank you though.

[Guest_4643]

Hi again everybody. I need some advice please. Yes I know nobody here is a professional, however I don't see my GP & Psychiatrist until mid January, and if I see the Psychologist I recently saw, that won't be until Feb.

Anyway, I need some advice regarding meds. I understand everything such as meds, therapy, etc. is different for everybody, but here's the issues I'm having:

• I'm not sure if my current meds are working. I've been on these meds the longest out of all my meds I've tried, so a few months. I can't remember when I started these or how many months exactly. I stopped the ones I used to take because of the side effects, so I didn't get a chance to try them properly (apart from 1 but I was having bad thoughts in the end), so I didn't really get to see if the others would work properly. I know meds of any kind for mental health aren't a fix all.
• I keep having nightmares and weird dreams, 2-3 a night, so it could be both nightmares or a weird dream, then a nightmare, in the same night. Which is odd because I have insomnia so I struggle with sleep. I feel like my meds are making my sleep worse aswell as the nightmares. I don't know if that means they're working or if it's the meds or just me.
• I don't know if these meds are working or if I should try another med. My Psychiatrist & GP just say to take a medication which is successful for those with PTSD (yes I have that as a diagnosis). But i'm scared about that part of things, so I haven't tried them yet.

I know no one can probably answer this, I'm sorry. So what I was going to ask is, I see my GP before my Psychiatrist. Would it be worthwhile trying to ask my GP to write my Psychiatrist a letter saying what I just wrote?

I could say more but I can't think properly right now as I'm rushing to type this since I have to have dinner now.

[Matchy69]

Hi Tayla I can completely understand about side effects with medication they can certainly effect you.Yes talk to your GP and get them to write a letter about the side effects and everything you just said.

[Jstar49]

hi tayla,

Thats a bummer about your medication. Nightmares and trouble sleeping wouldn't do much good for your wellbeing, I imagine. Is there any positives about your current medication?

It sounds like you've been on them long enough for any side effects to settle down, has it changed at all over that time?

I don't know much at all about medication, even if I knew what type you were on it wouldn't be very helpful to me, sorry. My experience with medication was awful, so I stayed off it and looked for other ways to get through.

It's interesting tho, I just googled AVPD and one of the recommended treatments is CBT. Did you say that you haven't been able to access CBT yet? It does look like it would be good for you. But I'm not a healthcare expert, and I know you've mentioned multiple diagnoses. So maybe it's not suitable.

I always look for physical and natural ways to improve wellbeing as I know that any medication has side effects, but thats just me.

Again, I'm sorry your're feeling this way and hope that you can get relief and good sleep soon.

Cheers

J*

[Guest_4643]

Hey Mark & Jstar.

I'll ask my GP when I see him next month to write to my Psychiatrist. What if he says no though? Or maybe I can send an email when the person I email at the company returns on Jan 1 (I have to do that so the emails get forwarded onto him, I can't email or call him personally).

Yes CBT would be helpful, my Psychiatrist has said the same. I did have a good Psychologist in like 2014-2015 but he closed down his practice & I can't contact him anymore, I've tried. I'm not sure if he did CBT, I think he was more of a talk therapy guy. I remember him doing an exercise with me when I ate some chocolate & focused on the taste, I guess that would be mindfulness. But that was a hard time because I just lost my Nana & then my Grandpa passed away in 2015 so I was more worried about them than myself.

I haven't noticed many positives about my current meds, but it's hard to tell.