Not really knowing where to start! Im new to this board as well.

Chloekat84 · ‎05-07-2014

Hello my name is Chloe and im 29 years old with 2 children. One girl who i have full custody of and the father isn't involved and a son who spends most of his time with his dad. I have been diagnosed with anxiety/depression since my late teens and been on and off various anti depressants for years. i have had a few bad times in my past but nothing compared to what i have been going through recently. Around 6 monthes ago i decided to come off my antidepressant which up until then was working very well for me, i just started to get some more bad days then good so my doctor decided to put me on a different drug so i tried another antidepressant but that didnt work either so we then started another and slowly increased the dose. I now wish i never went off my first antidepressant until recently with all the drug changes a started to feel unwell physically and emotionally. One day i was fine and the next i woke up like i had a really bad hangover but without the fun of drinkin the night before. I wasa mess that day and was hopin it was a one day thing and would go away the next day. Unfortunetly it didnt and every day got worse that i had seen doctors many times and even went to the emerency clinic as i couldnt stop shaking, was neausus and vomiting and had really bad restless legs. I have had restless legs in the past but nothin like this. It got to a point where i was crying 24/7 and even the most simplist thing like dressing/bathing/feeding and looking after my daughter was a struggle. This went on for a week when i had enough and couldnt cope. Previously the drugs didnt even work on me i was that anxious. Finally i went to the emergency with a referal from my GP and i stayed in hospital a few days as i needed sleep so badly as up until my bad attack started a week earlier i was having broken sleep for 2 or 3 hrs a night and hallucinating. My daughter had to stay with me as no1 could look after her so i couldnt have anything 2 strong to help me sleep. The next few nights my family helped and looked after her so i could get some much needed rest. I felt more positive when i left hospital. I am on an anti-pychotic drug which has helped a lot.

Chloekat84 · ‎06-07-2014

I had a bad night last and couldnt calm down or cope like i normally could in circumstances. Feeling better and more hopeful today. Went to my first nazareth church session today which was nice and met some nice people. Havent been to church since i was a child so was good to et back out there and meet people again. Was hard at first and then i felt a little better as the session went on. Feeling quite content atm and am hoping i will stay that way and not feel like i did last night as i was very anxious and depressed over everything. Hope everyone is having a good/decent evening. xxx

Girl_Anachronism · ‎06-07-2014

Hi Chloe,

Welcome to BB, I hope you can find the support you need here.

I am glad that you have good professionals on your side, in your gp. Did the hospital refer you to a psychologist or other clinic? Perhaps you were seeing somebody before? You certainly sound as if you aren't new to this.

Medication can be good, and help us stabilise enough to help ourselves, but having tried four antidepressants, three of which had unliveable side effects, I know from personal experience that it can take some trial and error u til you find the matching combination for your brain.

Are your family available to help you, even just take your daughter once in a while, just while you are adjusting to the new meds? Family or friends who can support can make such a difference, it is such a shame that so few people have these supports adequately.

It is also important to remember that even with good meds, some bad nights can still happen. I have experienced this myself, particularly with anxiety. It is not a sign of your own failure, it is how these illnesses work. Unfortunately it isn't a straight up recovery from these ilnesses, alot of the time. So if bad nights come, I hope you have some supports to lean on, or feel comfortable posting here.

We are fellow sufferers, and are here to listen, and help if we can.

GA

--Danny-- · ‎06-07-2014

Hi Chloe, I'm wishing you all the best 😃 you can get through the battles & come out stronger! Don't let a few bad days get you down, just remember good days & enjoy them ones like gold! I'm here to offer you support, plenty of people will support you!! Best wishes,

Dann

Chloekat84 · ‎08-07-2014

Thank you for the support guys i feel a little better today but feeling very anxious and nervous as my son is coming to stay with me 2moro morning and i have him for 10 days over the school hollidays. I hope i will be able to cope as e is a very active and full on child. I wont have my daughter as often as she will be in childcare most of the time so i can spend more one on one time with him but im just nervous as last time he came over i was a mess very sick and couldnt ctrop crying and shacking. I also need to clean out his room on my own today as he has a lot of stuff in there he doesnt even use anymore but if i take stuff while hes there he gets really upset so i have a big day ahead of me. Just going to try and take it easy and do tasks in bits as if i push myself too hard i make myself feel sick again. Wish me luck guys 🙂

--Danny-- · ‎08-07-2014

Hi Chloe, I'm glad you have had a better day today 😃 I bet your son will be looking forward to hanging out with his mum! You guys will have heaps of fun over the holidays 😃 I wish you all the luck in the world Chloe!

Enjoy the holidays,

Danny

Chloekat84 · ‎09-07-2014

Hi danny, feeling a bit more anxious today. nothing to do with my son but i feel jittery and shacky a lot for some reason. Its horrible. I know its a cold day today which makes me shake anyway but even with the heaters on i cant stop shaking. i havent missed any medications so i know its not that. Really hope this goes away as its horrible and i want to enjoy my time with my son. We went out to a mums group tis morning and ha had a play and 2moro we r going back again for a design and stitchin session and ill have my daughter with me who nearly 2. Shes a handful i can tell u that lol so is my son who is nearly 7. Anyway enough of my ranting on just had to vent as my family arnt always available as they have theyre own loves and worries. Anyway have a good day.

--Danny-- · ‎09-07-2014

Hi Chloe, I hope you've had a good day with your kids today & you start to feel better soon...all the shivering sounds like you have a fever & maybe some sort of bug? Not really sure, I'd go to the doctors if I were you though..you might be able to get some medication to fix it? Anyway, enjoy your night & have a good time with the kids tomorrow.

Take care,

Danny

Chloekat84 · ‎09-07-2014

Hey Danny. I thought i might have had a fever so i checked my temperature and it came up normal i think the shaking is associated with then anxiety i get as well as the weather making it worse. Has calmed down now after having a shower so hoping to have a good nights sleep.

--Danny-- · ‎09-07-2014

Hi Chloe, maybe tell the doctor that you have been having these problems...he might be able to prescribe medication that will help. A good night sleep & hopefully you feel a million dollars when you wake up tomorrow..Definately see a GP though..

Take care,

Danny