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Anxiety

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BeyondBlue Hi! Check out this post if you're not sure how to start
  • replies: 0

Hi there and welcome to the Anxiety section of the Forums First of all, thank you so much for joining us here. We think it’s amazing that you’ve taken this step to getting support and learning from this Community. You are very welcome here and we are... View more

Hi there and welcome to the Anxiety section of the Forums First of all, thank you so much for joining us here. We think it’s amazing that you’ve taken this step to getting support and learning from this Community. You are very welcome here and we are really interested in what you might want to add to these conversations. We get it, having anxiety makes it hard to share in a public place. Remeber, this is anonymous and the Beyond Blue team are here to help if you need it This section is for people who are experiencing anixiety in some form in their lives. This might be in social settings, at work, or just in the day to day. You don’t need a diagnosis to post here. If it feels like the right spot for you post, go right ahead! We know that feeling anxious can make it hard to reach out so we want you to know that getting this far is amazing and a great start. A few tips for getting the most out of this section: Get involved when you can! Posting and replying is the heartbeat of this community and you DO have something worthile to share (when you’re ready ) Every experience is different. There is no competition here. We know how challenging anxiety can be and how it comes in all shapes and sizes. What you are experiencing will be respected and supported here. Trust yourself! You are the expert in your experience. This community works because people like you share what has worked for you. Thank you for getting involved and taking a look. We can’t wait to hear from you! Beyond Blue

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scorch Is it anxiety? Too scared to get help.
  • replies: 14

I don't really know what I'm doing here. I guess I've been struggling with stuff for awhile and I don't know where to turn. Maybe someone on this forum will help? Maybe not. Maybe I won't even manage to post this and it won't matter. I think I have s... View more

I don't really know what I'm doing here. I guess I've been struggling with stuff for awhile and I don't know where to turn. Maybe someone on this forum will help? Maybe not. Maybe I won't even manage to post this and it won't matter. I think I have some sort of anxiety disorder, but I've never gone to a doctor to be diagnosed. I just can't make myself do it. I keep telling myself I'll make an appointment but then I find an excuse to get out of it or I keep putting it off until 'next week.' This is going to be a long post all about me, and I'm sorry for being so selfish. But I think I really need help and I don't know how to go about it. I was diagnosed with depression as a teenager after my boss discovered my self harm. I was forced to see a doctor who saw me only once and then made me attend counseling. I faked my way through counseling, saying what I thought they wanted me to hear and then I moved town soon after. I never went back to any sort of counseling, nor have I told any doctors about my depression.I have learned to deal with my depression in my own way, without medication or help from other people. I no longer abuse alcohol, self harm, take illicit drugs, abuse painkillers, act promiscuously or smoke cigarettes. Instead I write (bad) poetry and songs which help to get me out of my own head for a time. I also read a lot, which helps me to think about other people/situations even if they are just fiction. I take photos and I play a musical instrument. These things seem a healthier way of keeping the blanket of sadness from smothering me.I am proud of what I have accomplished and how far I have come in the last 8 years.But I'm not better. I don't know how to deal with the feelings of anxiety I have. I'm too afraid to pick up the phone and call a friend - because what if they don't want to hear from me? I don't want to annoy them with a text. What if I invite them to have lunch and they say yes, but are really just being polite and don't want anything to do with me? What if they say no straight up? That will hurt a lot.Thanks to my indecision and fear I don't really have any friends anymore. I'm lonely and have no one to talk to about what I feel.If my husband is away overnight, I freak out. I can't sleep at the best of times, but when he is away I get paranoid. I have spent many nights huddled in the corner of our room - lights out, holding a knife and jumping at every sound... convinced someone is trying to get inside. Sometimes even when my husband is home I wake up in a sweat, hearing noises and thinking that someone is robbing us. Sometimes I'll wake him up and ask him to check the house, other times I'll stay frozen in fear - hardly breathing in case an intruder hears me. I have nightmares about 5 nights a week. I never sleep through a whole night.I hate social situations. I'm uncomfortable and awkward. I can't stand going out to a restaurant or person's house unless I am familiar with the place. I hate approaching a check out, I don't like ordering or speaking to the waiters/waitresses... partly because I'm shy, but mainly because I get overwhelmed with totally irrational fears that I can't even put a name to. In a room, I sit with my back against a wall. I get nervous, sweaty and a rapid heart rate if I have to walk through a crowd... and I definitely won't walk through one if I'm by myself.I rarely want to leave the house, and if I do it's to go somewhere quiet and secluded. When I do leave, I need to check the door to make sure I locked it, and if I don't double check I end up turning the car around, going home and making sure. I don't answer the phone if it rings. If someone is at the door, I hide on the floor and don't move until they go away.My husband loves me. We do so much together, he tries so hard and is so helpful, supportive and strong... but he doesn't understand how my brain works. It's like it never shuts off, and I'm filled with a noisy mess of non stop thoughts all trying to be heard over each other. It's like if I can't channel my thoughts and keep them in order my head will explode from the pressure. Usually I can write, or even just have a good cry, and it helps keep me sane... but sometimes I am so tempted to do something stupid like kill myself and it scares me. I don't understand it, I'm actually quite content with most aspects of my life... I'm not afraid of death, but I don't want to hasten the process. What is wrong with me? Does anyone else feel like this? What can I do to get help? I'm so terrified to go to the doctors... is there another way? Thanks for listening to me spout on. I appreciate it.

Taybug GAD, Health Anxiety
  • replies: 1

Hi All, I have been reading through many posts on here, and was wondering whether anyone has any of the symptoms I have. I was diagnosed with GAD about 12 years ago. I hide it very very well as I don't want people to think I'm crazy. I was put on med... View more

Hi All, I have been reading through many posts on here, and was wondering whether anyone has any of the symptoms I have. I was diagnosed with GAD about 12 years ago. I hide it very very well as I don't want people to think I'm crazy. I was put on medication back then, and did some therapy. Every time I felt better I stopped my therapy. The meds I was on made me put on a whole lot of weight, and I began to not care about anything anymore. These meds literally gave me no good feelings at all. I had two children within that time, and stayed home to raise them. When my eldest turned about 3 I started to get very bad anxiety again. I started to rely on alcohol to make me feel better on the weekends, and needless to say it didn't end well. Especially when I was hungover I would have these terrible anxious feelings. It all culminated in me wanting to give up the meds, and I lost my license for 2 years for drink driving. I was unable to get the kids around and started to feel depressed. Long story short, the whole of last year I felt pretty good being off the meds. I am due to get my license back in July, and am getting married in October. My lifestyle has changed dramatically. I have given up drinking copious amount of alcohol, and am in a part time job as the kids start school this year. Anyway at the start of December I started to feel really unwell. Went to the doctor 2 weeks ago worried that I had some terrible disease. Panicked for the 3 days before I got the results, and they came back normal. However I can't shake this overall feeling of anxiety and depression. I have a lot to look forward to this year, but I don't really care. I feel strange, like I might throw up, I get this weird feeling like everything looks different, and I get very bad shakes all day in my hands. I am constantly googling what may be wrong with me. My fiancé is put under stress as I am just irritable, angry and stressed all the time. I have a referral to see a counsellor but haven't booked a session yet. I am scared to go to work today because I feel so ill and so sad. Will this ever go away? I love my children and my family, but just am not myself at all.... Any input would be great

Hayleyp Severe health anxiety
  • replies: 1

Hello i have been suffering from health anxiety for the past few years. I now however am unable to keep these thoughts under control. I am finding it really hard to make plans for the next year or 2 because I believe I will no longer be around. It se... View more

Hello i have been suffering from health anxiety for the past few years. I now however am unable to keep these thoughts under control. I am finding it really hard to make plans for the next year or 2 because I believe I will no longer be around. It seems to have started a few years ago following the loss of 2 pregnancies mid term...one at 19 weeks at one at 24 weeks. I then went on to have a successful pregnancy although the stress and anxiety throughout the whole pregnancy was extremely high! my first health related anxiety attack had me convinced I had MS. A few dr and ed visits and finally an MRI proved finally that I was ok. Since then I have convinced myself I have breast cancer, skin cancer, HIV, bowel cancer, pancreatic cancer and the most recent ovarian cancer. I am 38 years old and a registered nurse so constantly am exposed to people with all of the above conditions. it is all getting too much but now I cannot face my dr because I am too embarrassed to be turning up with yet another complaint. Has anyone found an effective treatment method for severe health anxiety?

BlueSunrise First time here....waking with anxiety
  • replies: 1

Hi, (haven't used a forum for years so hope I'm doing this right?)I chose the name BlueSunrise cos' that's pretty much how it is. If I wake up during the night I'm fine but when I open my eyes and the sun is up the panic hits me. It's like a sudden a... View more

Hi, (haven't used a forum for years so hope I'm doing this right?)I chose the name BlueSunrise cos' that's pretty much how it is. If I wake up during the night I'm fine but when I open my eyes and the sun is up the panic hits me. It's like a sudden adrenalin rush to my stomach, that feeling of dread hits me, the thoughts start racing around my head and I do my best to stay in bed as long as possible (as I feel safe in bed) but when the alarm goes off to tell me it's time to get up and start the day it gets even worse. I do what I have to, I get my son ready for school (he's 6yrs old) but it's such an effort, I sort of feel paralyzed and just want to sit and do nothing but I feel being a mother is my only success so for him, I get thru it. As the day goes on it becomes less of a panic feeling to just anxiety, unless something happens during the day to cause a panic attack, it generally eases by night but then I have the dread of going to sleep knowing that it's going to start all over again when I wake. I'm on a lot of medications which obviously aren't working but am having troubles coming off them as the withdrawals are 'hell' for me. I've started seeing a psychologist which I'm finding really good, he's helping me work through it. I do see a psychiatrist but all he seems to do is talk about my medications, I have had to stop benzodiazepines because it brought back my addiction problems (that's a whole other story for another time,) am currently trying to come off antidepressants as in the 6months I've been on it I have put on about 20kilos which is causing me to feel very depressed and not wanting my partner to come near me. He is very understanding which is great but he has his own problems with depression.Sorry if I have rambled on, I tend to do that. Thanks for listening.BlueSunrise

Capibara How to deal with a highly anxious state?
  • replies: 3

Hi. Any recommndations as to how to manage when you feel higly anxious? Any tips will be really welcome. I am just having a very difficult time trying to control my anxiety. Many thanks

Hi. Any recommndations as to how to manage when you feel higly anxious? Any tips will be really welcome. I am just having a very difficult time trying to control my anxiety. Many thanks

Perkin Tired of the struggle and want to talk with people that understand
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone. I've suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember. One of my earliest memories is being at primary school and thinking about suicide. But at the same time realising that it could be my toxic home environment that was making me fee... View more

Hi everyone. I've suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember. One of my earliest memories is being at primary school and thinking about suicide. But at the same time realising that it could be my toxic home environment that was making me feel this way. I decided that I owed it to myself to try and live a good life but couldn't see that happening until I reached adulthood and moved out of home so I just had to bear things as well as I could. By the time I moved out of home the physical symptoms brought on by the anxiety were pretty bad. Chronic pain and insomnia were the worst so although I was right and I could take more control of my life and happiness I spent a lot of time nursing myself back to health and could only just manage a part time job. On the positive side I've come a long way since then. Getting over the chronic pain was the biggest thing. I'm actually very proud of myself, I've had two children and the migranes I had on a fourtnightely basis were actually not that far off the pain of being in labor. Plus I was in some sort of pain constantly and couldn't sleep. So instead of berating myself for having trouble holding down a job or for not doing very well at school I now think well done to me for just putting one foot in front of the other for so long. I'm now at a point in my life where I feel like I'm emerging from a fog. I can see people interacting all around me when I leave the house but it makes me feel very anxious and isolated because I don't know how to talk to them even though I feel strong enough to give it a try. I also had my second child three weeks ago so I'm feeling quite tired, emotional and fragile. I realize this is normal. I've come to this forum because I'd like to reach out to people that understand how crippling and draining anxiety can be because I feel that most people either don't understand or have trouble acknowledging it which makes me feel very alone. My partner is a lovely guy but just doesn't understand and after much effort I have some people I can call friends, but they are not close friends who I feel I can talk to or who I feel understand me.

iamsotired Trusting people
  • replies: 4

For as long as I can remember there have been people in my life who let me down were not there for me. Next week I have to return to work( high school teacher) where there are people from principal to fellow teachers who have clearly demonstrated to ... View more

For as long as I can remember there have been people in my life who let me down were not there for me. Next week I have to return to work( high school teacher) where there are people from principal to fellow teachers who have clearly demonstrated to me that I am no to be believed, trusted or supported. I have asked my few friends left at work ( the rest of my friends have retired) why they think I am consistently treated so badly. They do not know why. so now I am soooo anxious about returning. last year I had a conversation with a fellow staff member ( directed by my head of department) concerning something she had done contrary to direction from our head of department. She went to the principal an complained that I had spoken aggressively to her, I now have an official warning letter. Even though I calmly explained that I may have spoken with an aggressive tone because I have what is called muscle dysphonia and therefore I often cannot control my voice and it can come out forced... I don't know. all I do know is that I do not want to return to work but fiscally I must. a few years ago when fellow teachers complained that they found it hard being around me struggling to speak my principal said that if I was struggling I should walk out the school gates. I nearly did into the traffic when the 2013HSC results came out I went to see how my students went ( all band 5 and 6s) unfortunately my principal saw me, she said Hi I respond hi but as soon as I left the building I burst into uncontrollable flooding tears. i am so tired of being scared and out of control anyone got any suggestions...please

efm2302 I'm over it
  • replies: 5

I'm 30 years old and I'm over it all! I have been battling with anxiety and depression for a long time - depression probably most of my life (at least from the age of 12). Anxiety hit me badly 7 years ago, and it got worse over the past year. 1 year ... View more

I'm 30 years old and I'm over it all! I have been battling with anxiety and depression for a long time - depression probably most of my life (at least from the age of 12). Anxiety hit me badly 7 years ago, and it got worse over the past year. 1 year ago (almost to the day) my husband and I separated. My anxiety has been pretty horrible in the past year, coping with all the emotional stuff that goes hand in hand with separation, as well as a hyperactive 2 year old. I'm sick of the anxiety. I'm sick of the fear I live in on a day to day basis. I'm sick of fearing being home alone and something seriously wrong happening to me. I'm sick of it. Yes, I have a psychologist. Yes, I have a couple of really trusted friends who know me inside out. Yes, I have a safety plan in place. But I'm at the stage where I feel like I'm just a burden on people - in particular one friend of mine. I don't want to call him to tell him I'm struggling. I have another friend I can call, but I don't want to bother her with my stuff. She has enough going on. I also just don't want to be questioned. I so much want to be around people, yet, I wish the world would suck me up so I could escape these feelings. Sorry for my rant.

iamsotired Trusting people 2
  • replies: 0

I meant to add to my last post how can I ever trust the fellow teacher who went and complained about me. We are meant to be able to have discussions as we are in the same department, but I am too anxious that if I say something she does not like she ... View more

I meant to add to my last post how can I ever trust the fellow teacher who went and complained about me. We are meant to be able to have discussions as we are in the same department, but I am too anxious that if I say something she does not like she will once again go to the principal and complain help advice please

Dexter2748 Anxiety and Depression + Trust Issues
  • replies: 2

Yesterday afternoon I attended my first appointment with a psychologist. She was really amazing and talked a lot about my issues with anxiety and depression. I felt a little numb at the time, almost like I couldn’t believe how much I’ve been through ... View more

Yesterday afternoon I attended my first appointment with a psychologist. She was really amazing and talked a lot about my issues with anxiety and depression. I felt a little numb at the time, almost like I couldn’t believe how much I’ve been through and slightly in denial about my recent (though always been in the back of my mind) suicidal thoughts. I’m 23 years old and my social fears and anxiety controls my life. I’m nervous all the time, feel like I’m always being judged and never really feel worthy of peoples time, this is why I find it hard to sustain friendships. I’ve realised I’m a great actor though, if you were to meet me you wouldn’t have a clue I’m unhappy with my life. It seems to be a trend with people who experience the same issues though. After my appointment yesterday I felt happy until a bus driver yelled at me for having insufficient funds on my GoCard. I ended up walking the hour home and just reflected on how lonely I am. At the time I couldn’t think of anyone to call and cheer me up or drive me home. I just walked along a main highway crying my eyes out, once I got home I cried for hours trying to fight off a panic attack. I know I’m trying really hard to get better but at the same time I know it will be a long rough road till I reach my goal. I’m most anxious when dating, I’ve had some bad experiences and find it hard to trust guys now. I’m in a long distance relationship and even though he is very trustworthy and caring I still feel so paranoid all the time. I need to learn to relax and take each day as it comes. Does anyone have any advice? I would love to hear stories of long distance relationships that have worked or if anyone has overcome trust issues when it comes to relationships/friendships. I’m fairly new to the beyondblue forum so I hope this all makes some sense.