Trusting people

[iamsotired]

For as long as I can remember there have been people in my life who let me down were not there for me. 

Next week I have to return to work( high school teacher) where there are people from principal to fellow teachers who have clearly demonstrated to me that I am no to be believed, trusted or supported. 

I have asked my few friends left at work ( the rest of my friends have retired) why they think I am consistently treated so badly. They do not know why.

so now I am soooo anxious about returning.

last year I had a conversation with a fellow staff member ( directed by my head of department) concerning something she had done contrary to direction from our head of department. She went to the principal an complained that I had spoken aggressively to her, I now have an official warning letter. Even though I calmly explained that I may have spoken with an aggressive tone because I have what is called muscle dysphonia and therefore I often cannot control my voice and it can come out forced... I don't know.

all I do know is that I do not want to return to work but fiscally I must.

a few years ago when fellow teachers complained that they found it hard being around me struggling to speak my principal said that if I was struggling I should walk out the school gates. I nearly did into the traffic

when the 2013HSC results came out I went to see how my students went ( all band 5 and 6s) unfortunately my principal saw me, she said Hi I respond hi but as soon as I left the building I burst into uncontrollable flooding tears.

i am so tired of being scared and out of control

anyone got any suggestions...please 

[Katy100]

Hey, Iamsotired ... 

There are rules against workplace bullying.  There are rules against workplace harassment.  There are rules against discriminating against people with a disability.  

Use the rules. 

Contact your union.  Ring Legal Aid for some free legal advice.  Check out a community legal centre, or a good legal firm (one that specialises in labour law) in your state.  

Talk to your health professionals ... see where they can help.  

Can you find someone to advocate on your behalf, or at least be with you in difficult situations?  Can you try to handle situations by email instead of in person?  

Wishing you all the best ... 

[Lillybell]

Hi Iamsotired, what a difficult situation for you. Being a teacher is very stressful at the best of times. I have a daughter who is a secondary teacher, so I understand the pressures teachers are under dealing with students. It is a tough job and one that is not respected enough, in my opinion. Fortunately for my daughter, she has a good relationship with the staff and is supported by them. I don't know how she would cope otherwise.   Maybe you could contact the Teacher's Union. I'm not sure what support services they offer, but I'm sure they would be able to give you some worthwhile advice. Not that I'm suggested taking action against the school, but it does sound as if you're being discriminated against because of the condition that is affecting your voice. They certainly appear to lack understanding. Maybe a doctor's letter of diagnoses would help. You could give it to the principal. Are there any teachers that you have a good relationship with that could give you support and be an advocate for you. Keep in mind too, that you have studied hard to be where you are so don't let this negativity spoil your dream and goals. 

[iamsotired]

Thank you Lillybell

i am 2 years from retirement, so part of the problem is ageism. Yes I do have some friends and they are supportive. But when it is your principal that is causing the problems there is not much you can do.

i have been in contact with the union and I could take action, but I just want to be let alone to work with my students(who I love teaching)

the difficulty is that I have developed a panic phobia concerning both the teacher who stabbed me in the back and my principal.

my psychiatrist who is excellent and caring is working with me, but because I have had a long stressful life my brain chemicals are not as they should be. So my life is fitting against my brain chemicals as visa versa

take care

[Lillybell]

That is so tough. I didn't realise you'd been teaching for so long. You should be respected even more and shame on them for treating you this way. All I can say is to just keep focussing on your students. You've got two years left so just keep doing what you've always done. Your students will be there at the end. Just think of all of the lives you've impacted in all those years of teaching. Don't let a few spoil your legacy. You deserve all the respect there is to give. You sound like someone who has dedicated their lives to others. The rewards may not be visible or felt in a tangible way, but they are out there nontheless, in the part you've played in the lives of each of the students you've taught. Add them up!