Not really knowing where to start! Im new to this board as well.

Chloekat84 · ‎05-07-2014

Hello my name is Chloe and im 29 years old with 2 children. One girl who i have full custody of and the father isn't involved and a son who spends most of his time with his dad. I have been diagnosed with anxiety/depression since my late teens and been on and off various anti depressants for years. i have had a few bad times in my past but nothing compared to what i have been going through recently. Around 6 monthes ago i decided to come off my antidepressant which up until then was working very well for me, i just started to get some more bad days then good so my doctor decided to put me on a different drug so i tried another antidepressant but that didnt work either so we then started another and slowly increased the dose. I now wish i never went off my first antidepressant until recently with all the drug changes a started to feel unwell physically and emotionally. One day i was fine and the next i woke up like i had a really bad hangover but without the fun of drinkin the night before. I wasa mess that day and was hopin it was a one day thing and would go away the next day. Unfortunetly it didnt and every day got worse that i had seen doctors many times and even went to the emerency clinic as i couldnt stop shaking, was neausus and vomiting and had really bad restless legs. I have had restless legs in the past but nothin like this. It got to a point where i was crying 24/7 and even the most simplist thing like dressing/bathing/feeding and looking after my daughter was a struggle. This went on for a week when i had enough and couldnt cope. Previously the drugs didnt even work on me i was that anxious. Finally i went to the emergency with a referal from my GP and i stayed in hospital a few days as i needed sleep so badly as up until my bad attack started a week earlier i was having broken sleep for 2 or 3 hrs a night and hallucinating. My daughter had to stay with me as no1 could look after her so i couldnt have anything 2 strong to help me sleep. The next few nights my family helped and looked after her so i could get some much needed rest. I felt more positive when i left hospital. I am on an anti-pychotic drug which has helped a lot.

AGrace · ‎19-07-2014

Hi Frankie,

I'm glad the others have welcomed you, I'd like to do the same.

It's good to hear that you're finding the community here very understanding and supportive. I wondered whether you'd be willing to start a new thread and share as much as your comfortable to with us? It might just give others a chance to see your post and then you'll have more people responding. Of course if you'd prefer to just view others posts that's completely fine.

AGrace

Chloekat84 · ‎20-07-2014

Hello AGrace. Not knowing what u mean by PRNs. Im currently on anti depressant and anti psych. tablets to help me sleep.I try and stay hopeful. Most of my days lately have been so so. I try and get out of the house when i can as staying home all the time depresses. Weird as i used to love spending time alone and doing my own thing. I just have my daughter with me now as my son has gone back to his dads. Not going to see him till the 22nd August which will be hard as i love him to bits but just find it hard to cope with his behaviour. Anyways i need to get my daughter up from her nap so talk soon 🙂

AGrace · ‎20-07-2014

Hi Chloekat,

You can tell I've spent too much time in hospital, now I even use their lingo! PRNs are smaller doses of medication (usually the antipsychotics which act as mood stabilisers) that are prescribed to be taken as needed. So for instance if you felt really low, or really anxious during the day you would have something to rely on.

It's odd how we start to dislike the things we used to enjoy. One of the things I try to focus on is doing what I need rather than what I want. It's exactly what we teach children but we tend to forget this as adults. Eg I need to get out of the house even though I don't want to, I need to seek assistance even though I dont feel like it. The Psychologists like to call it Opposite Actions.

I'm sure it must be tough to not be with your son all the time. Again this is probably something you need right now. It could change in the future. You mentioned his behavior, are you just referring to normal boy behavior? Or does he have some challenges? I hope you have enjoyed the weekend with your daughter. I'd so love to have children, it's something my Psychiatrist, partner, and I are beginning to plan for now. You sound like such a wonderful mother.

AGrace

Chloekat84 · ‎21-07-2014

Hello AGrace. Thanx for the response. I think my doctor wants me to get off the anti psychotics and back onto anti depressants. Im afraid ill go downhill if i some off completly off them. Sometimes i think its normal boy behaviour and others i think hes hyperactive or have mild ADHD. Im not sure as hes never been fully tested as hes too young. The weekend was alrite pretty average. My daughter is in childcare now so i can go to appts and get some things done around the house. I need to take my time and do things slowly as if i do housework etc all at once i get overwhelmed and brings on my anxiety. Well off to do some vaccuming now while i get the chance. Take care x