Not really knowing where to start! Im new to this board as well.

Chloekat84 · ‎05-07-2014

Hello my name is Chloe and im 29 years old with 2 children. One girl who i have full custody of and the father isn't involved and a son who spends most of his time with his dad. I have been diagnosed with anxiety/depression since my late teens and been on and off various anti depressants for years. i have had a few bad times in my past but nothing compared to what i have been going through recently. Around 6 monthes ago i decided to come off my antidepressant which up until then was working very well for me, i just started to get some more bad days then good so my doctor decided to put me on a different drug so i tried another antidepressant but that didnt work either so we then started another and slowly increased the dose. I now wish i never went off my first antidepressant until recently with all the drug changes a started to feel unwell physically and emotionally. One day i was fine and the next i woke up like i had a really bad hangover but without the fun of drinkin the night before. I wasa mess that day and was hopin it was a one day thing and would go away the next day. Unfortunetly it didnt and every day got worse that i had seen doctors many times and even went to the emerency clinic as i couldnt stop shaking, was neausus and vomiting and had really bad restless legs. I have had restless legs in the past but nothin like this. It got to a point where i was crying 24/7 and even the most simplist thing like dressing/bathing/feeding and looking after my daughter was a struggle. This went on for a week when i had enough and couldnt cope. Previously the drugs didnt even work on me i was that anxious. Finally i went to the emergency with a referal from my GP and i stayed in hospital a few days as i needed sleep so badly as up until my bad attack started a week earlier i was having broken sleep for 2 or 3 hrs a night and hallucinating. My daughter had to stay with me as no1 could look after her so i couldnt have anything 2 strong to help me sleep. The next few nights my family helped and looked after her so i could get some much needed rest. I felt more positive when i left hospital. I am on an anti-pychotic drug which has helped a lot.

Chloekat84 · ‎14-07-2014

yeh im seeing my doc every week now. Ive just been put on some new anti depressants which i havent taken before and are told are safe to to take with my anti phychotic im taking. Also been told if im tool tired during the day to lower the doe i take in the morning cos after an hr of taking it i feel soo tired i cant keep my eyes open and that makes it impossible to look after my son. My daughter not so bad as she has been in childcare a lot lately while i try and get better. My prarents left today so feeling very alone dealing with this again but know i can get through it. I try and keep saying im strong enough to deal with it but its not always easy. Over half time so still got my son till sat. I know i can cope and deal with this i just need to think positive 🙂

--Danny-- · ‎14-07-2014

Hey Chloe, it sounds like you have the positivity & right attitude!! You are getting me feeling motivated! That attitude is contagious! Eventually your body will get used to the medications & everything will be sweet..just don't stress about it & let them run there course! Hopefully everything works out for u & your kids..don't give up Chloe!

Danny

Chloekat84 · ‎15-07-2014

Thanx Danny no i wont give up. Im not feelin too bad to day so might o for a walk to my dads around the corner while my little girl in childcare so just got my elsdest atm. He is obsessed with Jurassic park atm and anything dinosaurs lol so shard to heep him away from the pc and my phone. Anyways im trying to just take it one day at a time not the ive still got 5 days to go with my son which suonds like heaps. Im just over halfways so thinking like that. I love him dearly but he really is a handful. Its like he only listens to males and doesnt take me seriously. I think thats y his behaviour is a lot better at his dads than here but of course they dont agree with that they think its me not being strict enough and feeding the right foods 24/7. Anyways ill stop talkin bout my ex otherwise itll et me mad. Anyways have a good day and Take care x

--Danny-- · ‎16-07-2014

Hey Chloe, I hope you are feeling better today 🙂 I totally understand the new generation of kids & modern technology...PlayStations, Xbox IIPod, IPad, Tablets, Foxtel, DVD, computers, laptop...all kids are addicted..every parent has this dilemma I reckon..it sounds like your son stresses you out a fair bit ey..as long as you look after him, don't listen to the ex & his family..there opinions mean very little..don't let them upset you Chloe..they sound toxic..

Best of luck with your son & have a lovely night, let me know how you're doing..

Take care,

Danny

Chloekat84 · ‎17-07-2014

Hey Danny, How are you? Today has been a very average day as we coudnt go for a walk down the street or anything because of the extreme rain and weather here in SA, So been tryin to keep the kids entertained whichc hasnt been easy when all i want to do is crawl back into bed. My son is still stealign my fone to play games or use my pc to go on facebook and play games lol. It as just been a bit trickier since ive had both the kids here. Ill only have my son 2moro as my daughter is at childcare. Well thats it for now so take care and talk soon 🙂

frankie28 · ‎17-07-2014

This is my first time on BB. I came home from work today and I have never felt so deflated. I suffer anxiety and panic attacks, but have lately felt feelings that I have never felt before, at least not often, like overwhelming sadness. I have constantly found myself in tears throughout the afternoon and for some reason came to this site. Reading the support on here made me burst into tears, but only because the love that is shared and the support offered restores my faith that people understand what we are going through.

--Danny-- · ‎17-07-2014

Hey Frankie, it sounds like your in a bit of a struggle at the moment..depression & anxiety/panic are really difficult conditions to deal with..but it can be improved! Have you seen a doctor about the problems? Or possibly a physcologist/counseling? They can help you beat this battle..Beyond Blue is amazing..I have been on here for a month or so & the support is huge! Welcome to BB Frankie! You are going to meet some amazing people on here & everyone will support & encourage you..

Best of luck & keep chipping away!

Danny

frankie28 · ‎17-07-2014

Thanks Danny, I appreciate your thoughts. Yes, but I have not been for a while as I have been working 12 hours a day for the last few weeks - maybe that is why I am struggling a bit. Cant switch off and relax and enjoy, but rather am caught up in work and those stresses.

Work doesn't understand sometimes and asks "what have you got to be anxious about". It is sad sometimes that they don't understand - they don't see the night terrors or the panic attacks or the physical symptoms of stress, or the work I do when I get home to make sure everything and everyone else is okay…they think because I smile at work and don't talk about it that everything has to be okay. I know it is not their fault, but the only time I tried to explain why I was stressed, they fobbed it off…

I am certainly not ashamed of suffering anxiety. I am certainly not ashamed of how I feel; part of me loves the fact that I worry about others wellbeing (obviously I don't manage this too well), but on the other hand am conscious of telling people about it who I am not sure understand what it is I feel or why...

Chloekat84 · ‎18-07-2014

Firstly i'd like to say welcome to BB frankie28. There are a lot of supportive people to talk to on this site which i have found out. I havent been on this site very lon and the support i have been given is amazing. I know how you feel as i suffer from depression/anxiety and its not an easy illness to go through. One day im really happy and another content and others really down and depressed which makes me wonder if i have bipolar but i wont know until i see my psychiatrist for an assesment. Are you involved in any programs or see your regular GP or a counselor or psychologist? Its a good idea to do so as they can help more than you think and they dont judge you. Anyways nice to meet you and hope you feel better soon. Take care x

AGrace · ‎19-07-2014

Hi Chloekat,

I know I've responded to another of your threads, but I was reading your posts here and I wondered if your Dr has prescribed PRNs for you to use as required during the day? It sounds like you have a very hopeful attitude, I thought this might be a good discussion to have with your Dr.

AGrace