Originally posted by: August on 7 February 2013
Hey Rebekah,
First of all, I'm really sorry to hear that you've been bullied your whole life. You sound like really cool and interesting person, and it sucks that your school days have been filled with mean people who can't see that. And to make matters worse, it sounds like you're not getting any comfort at home, either. When all you want is someone who understands, and all you're getting is a mum who doesn't get how you're feeling inside, it's no wonder you're having such a hard time.
It sounds to me like your mum is very scared. And she is probably also worried that she's to blame for your self-harm. So instead of being supportive, she's taking out her worries on you, which is totally unfair. I bet it's difficult being 13 and talking to your mum about the stuff that's going on inside. But perhaps you could try really hard to tell her that you need her help and understanding, and that when she yells at you it makes you feel worse. Maybe even sit down one day after school and have a good think about the ways in which you think your mum could help you, and then let her know.
Girls in high school can be really bitchy and mean. Often privately, they actually want to be friends with you (because they like you and think you're cool), but they're too scared that they'll be teased, so they just follow what everyone else is doing. It might be good for your confidence to make friends outside of school. What are some of your interests? Perhaps you can join a group or club in one of your interest areas. You're probably thinking that you can't be bothered to do something like that, but seriously consider it because you'll probably find that when girls and boys are outside of their groups at school, they're much nicer people.
If you haven't already done so, you might want to check out the Beyond Blue youth forum. http://www.youthbeyondblue.com/share-your-story/
It might be helpful to talk to people who're close to your own age.
I hope life gets a little brighter for you! 🙂
